slimshadychick

Everything has been moving so fast that I thought I should take a moment out of my day to document how it is I got to where I am today.
 
Let's go waaayyyyyy back.....
I was 17 years old and started developing depression. I ballooned up to 206 lbs from 145 lbs. (I am 5:7") I was mortified to see the scale go over 200 lbs. I immediately started counting calories and riding my bike. in a matter of 8 months I dropped down to 156 lbs. I was delighted. (what I wouldn't give to weigh 206 today)
 
For the next 10 or 11 years I hungout between 152 and 158. Partly because I was a "professional" dancer and the amount of exercise I got everyday was awesome. July of 1993 I found out I was pregnant. I had mixed emotions, but overal was happy. The day I found out I was pregnant I weighed myself. I was 158 lbs and in really good shape. I figured I had this pregnancy thing under control. Ha ha ha. I was contantly sick and tired. The only bad thing is I never threw up. So I ate and slept my way through my pregnancy and gained a whopping 100 lbs. This is where the struggle begins.
 
For the last 19 years I have been all over the place on the scale. Anywhere from 172 to 301. About eight years ago I dieted and lost 90 pounds. I looked great. Did all the plastics and everything. But slowly over the years the weight has been piling on. My bipolar medication has not helped the situation out either.
 
November 14, 2012 I was diagnosed with Celiac's Disease..... I immediately had to go gluten-free. You know what has gluten in it? EVERY FN Thing!!!! I though god has answered my prayers and has now made it impossible to eat crap food without getting extremely sick. Everyone said I would definitely be losing weight. Well I proved them wrong. In a matter of 8 months I lost 14 pounds. whoopie!
 
So there is the history.... Fast Forward to now.....
My beautiful younger sister came to see me in June of this year. She is 4 years younger than I am, 5'6" and 140. She looks amazing. She was here to have some plastic surgery with my plastic surgeon. This brought me back to thinking what could I have done? Well...... nothing. I need a whole body makeover. Light Bulb! I am sooooo looking into bariatric surgery. My sister was in full support and support excited for me. So at my sisters next appt with the plastic surgeon, I asked for a referral for a bariatric surgeon. The plastic surgeon is so nice, he texted Dr. Zare right then to let him know I was coming and take good care of me.
 
I made my appt. with Dr. Zare for August 1st. He was great and very thorough. It took me two weeks to think about things, but on August 15th, I paid the $500 program fee and things really started to move then. the next few days I went to see the psychologist and the NUT; both of whom wrote me glowing recommendation. Two weeks later my case was submitted to insurance. Then the clock stopped moving for two weeks while I waited to hear from the insurance company. Finally the news came. I was approved. Called the office to schedule my surgery October 22, 2013 and it is on like donkey kong! My pre-op appt is Oct 4 with the surgeon. I am so ready for this. I can hardly stand it.
 
To Tell Or NOT To Tell
I started off not going to tell ANYONE! This was my own little personal journey. Then as I became more comfortable, I told my family, then I told my manager at work to get the time off, and then I told a couple of friends. AND THEN I told my immediate co-workers on my team. I am no longer ashamed of my decision, but I am also not going to scream it from the mountain top either. I will be honest when asked and tell people on a need to know basis. So far I have not had one person react negatively to my decision. I have had nothing but an outpouring of support.
 
 
Well these are all my personal thoughts for now. If you got this far reading this... Thanks. I really did this for myself, but just in case anyone else finds interest in it, I posted it for the whole VST to see.
 
Bye for now
Bonnie

Update: 4-26-3013:
It's still amazing to see what and how much comes out of me, considering how little I am eating. Most of the time, it feels like I am passing jagged rocks and it comes out looking like a pile of marbles. Then there are times like today, where this monstrous poo python emerges. And I'm thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I just pooped yesterday and I haven't changed my eating habits or eaten extra food."
 
Is there some storage area in the intestines I don't know about? Are my guts becoming some kind of Dooms Day Prepper? Some kind of "just in case we need it" secret poo stash?
 
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
 

 
 
 
I was visited by the infamous 3rd week stall. I didn't lose any more weight for about 5 days. Hit a 2nd wall on week 5, same thing. It takes me 4 - 6 days to start losing again. It helps speed up the process when I walk a little more than normal.
 
But I've learned that part of the stall is tied to bowel movements. Post-Op, I only go every other day or every 3rd day depending on how much fiber/carbs I take in.
 
You might want to consider how much waste your body is holding onto. My bathroom visits aren't steady at this point, sometimes I'll go twice on the same day. I'll be thinking, "Where the hell did that come from? I know I haven't eaten that much!"
 
Sometimes I'll be over a pound lighter after a monster poop! My record is 2 lbs.

Hello Everyone and thanks for taking a moment to read my blog.
I'm Zazilia, married, no children 33 years old.
On December 2009 I decided to get the lapband surgery because I was 280 lbs plus I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome) And if I didn't lose weight i had big chances of getting diabetes (I was pre-diabetic) and heart disease due to family history.
Anyways i went for it and got my band put in.... i lost 83 lbs (in about a year).. yay me! however back in that time i was single, lived by myself and had the right food at home at all times.
When 2011 hit (married now) I, as well, hit a huge brick wall and i stopped losing weight. Eventually i started gaining the weight back and right before surgery (last week) i was 241 lbs.
I was so frustrated with myself tried to do as good as i could, adjusted my band up to 7.75 cc's and i often got a pain on my left shoulder due to the lapband.
I started getting everything together for my Sleeve surgery, spoke with my surgeon, and he saw how much i struggled and he approved of me getting the Sleeve, then went through a bunch of pre-surgical testings and sent it to my insurance , after a couple of months of waiting, my insurance finally approved it! (Anthem BCBS)
When i went to my pre-op a week before surgery the nurse saw i was having high blood pressure for the first time which was another motivation to start losing weight again.
She prescribed me dilaudid for pain, zofran for nausea and omeprozole for acid reflux to start taking them once im back home from surgery.
The day before surgery (Monday nov 12th) i was on clear liquids and had nothing to drink after midnight.
Then the day of surgery got here! (Finally!!) (Tuesday 13th) I arrived to the hospital, got registered did a pregnancy urine test then went up to talk to one of the surgical nurses about my health history, then they asked me to changed into my hospital gown and lay on a stretcher and a small room and they set up my IV and gave me an anticoagulant shot on my belly to avoid blood clots.
Spoke with the anesthesiologist and my surgeon to make sure i was calmed and they explained everything that was going to happen.
They took me to the OR and i changed from my bed to another one where they positioned me like a cross. The anesthesiologist gave me a shot through my IV to "get me high" those were his exact words then he gave me oxygen and then he said "ok now im going to give u the good stuff" i said ok guys ''have a goodnight" and i passed out.
Next thing i hear is the nurse in the recovery room telling me to take deep breaths and the first thing that came out of my mouth was : "Holy Crap this hurts where's the morphine" lol they controlled my pain rapidly and took me to my room.
The nurses were so nice to me, even though apparently the anesthesia gives me low tolerance cause i was being very "bitchy" to everyone (My husband made sure he made me aware of it once i was back to my self entirely lol) They checked my vitals every 4 hours, gave me morphine when i needed and i didn't have to wait. I started walking back and forth a couple of hours right after the surgery and i the pain stood minimal.
They gave me little tiny ice cups (about 3 ounces each) and it tasted like glory! since my mouth was as dry as a shoe lol
My biggest struggle after surgery was trying to pee! It was almost impossible because it wouldn't come out! and the nurses told me that was normal due to the anesthesia after that the whole experience wasn't bad at all.
At the next day i felt good enough to go home, i was discharged at 2 pm and came home.
I was instructed to be on clear liquids until today (Sunday) i drank water, diet snapple, sugar free jello and sugar free ice pops. Today i started full liquids and had a "EAS advantage protein shake" which took me about a hour and a half to chug down and some homemade chicken broth.
Am I hungry? Absolutely not! Do i crave to eat everything even the inedible YES like my friend who had the sleeve done years ago and went from a size 22 to a size 2 told me, "they operate your stomach however the don't operate your mind"
I weigh myself today and i am down 12 lbs in less than a week! So i hope i can continue being successful!
I will continue to post updates of my journey as a "Sleever" and hope it helped someone out there!
Thanks

For years and years I've been obese, since I was eight years old.
 
I tried everything, from the sensible to the slightly insane to try to lose weight.
 
After a year of diligent calorie counting and exercise failed to shift any weight, I spoke with my husband about possibly pursuing bariatric surgery. Pretty quickly, I started to gravitate toward a gastric sleeve, and did a ton of research.
 
I put off making that appointment for a consultation for months. Now I wish I hadn't!
 
Because, now I'm 5 days post-op and feeling incredible, and shrinking before my very eyes!
 
I had a very easy surgery and my recovery was fast--practically outpatient. I was out of the hospital the next afternoon. Three days after surgery I could go shopping for a little while, five days after, I could resume my walking routine (although I may have been pushing it a little).
 
I've had no trouble at all keeping to my full liquid diet, and have been doing really well so far! As of yesterday, I lost 12 pounds since my surgery date. By now, it is probably even more! I can actually feel and see the changes, they're happening so fast. This is so encouraging to me, that I can't imagine having any problem sticking to my diet.
 
I haven't had any "head hunger" which is great--it's something a lot of people struggle with post-op, so I guess I'm just lucky that there wasn't a big psychological component to my obesity that I didn't know about.
 
The only challenge I've come up against so far is drinking enough water. I don't feel thirsty, and my mouth isn't dry, but they say I should be getting about 60 oz a day. There's no way I'm getting that, unless you include the other liquids I "drink" like shakes, soups, etc. The nutritionist said I shouldn't count those, but it seems pretty unattainable if I don't!
 
My stomach is only 2oz big, I would have to fill and empty my stomach 30 times a day with water alone to get 60oz of pure water.
 
Blah.
 
I can't complain--I'm feeling astonishingly well, and am losing weight! It's like a dream!

NOTE: If Sex is a four letter word to you and you are not comfortable talking openly about it, I recommend that you stop reading right now!!!! ................Go on, I'll wait for you to leave................If you're still here, please be advised that the following blog will be talking openly about sex, sexual positions, feelings during sex, and different forms of sex (meaning oral/regular). If that sentence scared you and you feel that this may be too blunt of a topic, please leave now or forever hold your piece (pun intended) LOL. I do not want to read anything telling me that this topic isn't appropriate. Almost everyone has sex and when you lose weight, the experience changes. That's what I'm talking about today. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh, there may be some humor thrown in for good measure.
 
Ok, whom ever is still with me, I thank you for understanding that many things change after weight loss surgery/ And yes, sex is one of those things. How do I know this you may ask? Well, it took a while for me to get all my hormones in check and allow my loving husband to "take charge". Once I was able to do that, not only did I get what I've been wanting for for awhile (three months to be exact), but I have to admit that it was AMAZING. With all the extra hormones in your blood after surgery, the sex is more intense. It's what I would imagine being on ecstasy and doing it would feel like. I am sure anyone who has ever done EX is going, "ummmmm....no, not even close", but since I don't really know, it's what I imagine it being like. The feeling of a touch, kiss, lick and yes, penetration is so much more intense. And for the record...I LIKE IT A LOT!!!
 
So, my husband and I did the dirty today.....banged....got it on...he "hit" that...and any other way you want to say it. I was wondering how different it would feel after an 80lb weight loss. I knew with my thinner body, things would be different, but I didn't expect how different it would be in only two months. First, the ability to be on top and not feel as though I was going to cause his lungs to stop working or his blood to not get to his legs was nice. The better part was that being thinner, my legs wrapped around him much better and I had better movement during the act. In case you're wondering why I'm kind of speaking in code, it's becasue I am not sure just how blunt I can be. What I am saying is that my thinner legs and butt allowed for deeper penetration and becasue of the weight loss, I was able to move more than I have in the past five years. It was also much more enjoyable for him. Having less weight on him made it much more comfortable and he was able to enjoy the act even more than before. Also, when spreading my legs, my thighs didn't peel apart and only allow a small space for him to do what ever he wanted to do. What did happen was that I was able welcome him in with open legs and much smaller thighs. I also didn't feel as though I was smothering him with my thighs while he was ....well, you know. There was no peeling of any kind. Ok, that sounds so gross, but I always said I would be honest about weight loss and we all know that our thighs become very close when we are bigger. Sometimes I've wondered if I could ever get them to separate. Even when I walked they just stayed together or rub one another (sometimes they rubbed each other too much). So, if that visual offended anyone, I am sorry...I am just trying to keep this blog honest.
 
Now, back to the sex talk. I was shocked at the changes with sex so soon. Besides the great orgasms...yes there was more than one.....thank you hormones!!!! (and husband) I felt more comfortable with myself and my body and therefore I was able to be closer with my husband during the act. I don't mean that becasue my stomach was smaller, there was less fat between us (though true). I mean that becasue I felt good about myself and my body that I was able to enjoy the intimacy with him while having sex. Even afterwards, I allowed the intimacy to continue. I wasn't trying to cover up or get dressed afterwards. I laid in his arms and enjoyed our time together.
 
Now, I know I have a lot more weight to lose, but right now I am so happy with the way I look and feel that I can't imagine it getting any better. With that being said, I can't wait until I am half the size I am now. When I have sex then, it will be COMPLETELY different...and I can't wait. I joke with my husband that every time we're together he get's a "new" woman but I get the same man. His response? "I don't want a new woman. I just want you...in any shape or size that may be." Yes, that's why I love him...and how he manages to get me into bed whenever he wants. Now, I just have to figure out how to get him into bed whenever I want and we will be even.

Yesterday evening my college friend, Nicole, and her daughter, Bella, arrived at my home for a a little vacation. They are home from Costa Rica and seeing them is always great. I love catching up with Nicole and seeing how much Bella, has grown and matured. But, I have to admit, I was worried about their visit this time. Not because I didn't want them here. I was concerned becasue I didn't know how my new eating behaviors would effect things. Would they think I was strange eating chicken ALL THE TIME? Would I seem crazy when I measured and weighed EVERYTHING out before I ate and then wrote it all down? Most importantly, I was worried about wanting things I shouldn't eat.
 
Friends and food seem to go together. Think about all the great heart to hearts you've had over coffee or tee (or any other drink) and finger foods or sweets? Could catching up cause me to "drop the ball"? I was even more concerned becasue I knew I would have foods in the house that I haven't had in here for awhile. I brought cookies, chips, and other goodies for them as I knew they can't get some of those things down there and would enjoy them. Buying them didn't tempt me. They sat on the counter for days and I never even really looked at them. However, I knew the real test would come when they got here.
 
Well, they are here. I have maintained my normal food consumption. I haven't even thought about eating during our heart to hearts. Lucky for me she is a great friend and understands what is happening and takes it in stride. She knows not to feel bad for eating things in front of me (another thing I was worried about) and both she and her daughter seem to enjoy the goodies I bought them. They even bought themselves some different ones. All I can think is how much had changed in six...wait SEVEN weeks.
 
Prior to surgery, I would have been nibbling on it all and not even realizing how much I had taken in. Now, I just look at it and think that if I really want it, I can have a little bit of it but I don't want it. I have found that if I have anything really sugary, the next day it's all I want. I don't like having that feeling, so I try to stay away from sugar as much as possible. I do make some sweet roasted chic peas with splenda brown sugar that are AMAZING. but my old "go to" foods are no longer a want or a need. I can't believe how much has changed in a short time. It seems unreal to me. If I would have just tried to diet and exercise (like I've tried a million times in the past), I would be craving those things and would have totally cheated on my diet by now. I used to hate hearing people say this, but it really is a total lifestyle change. I can't believe I just wrote that....I refuse to be one of those people that say that to everyone. They annoy me and I don't want to be any more annoying than I already am.
 
So, I will continue to enjoy my friend and her child. We are moving a lot everyday so I am getting my exercise in. Apparently kids make you move!!! I don't have any, so from not having one to having a six year old in the home is a shock to my system (in a good way). I am sure that by the time I get used to having the little one here they will leave and then I won't know what to do with myself. The good thing is knowing they will be back in late June or early July so we can do it all again. It's nice to be able to not associate food with great friends and heart to hearts. Now I can pay attention to what she says instead of wondering who ate my last Oreo from my plate? I know we have gremlins that sneak out and take them as there is no way I ate all those cookies that fast. Now, there are no cookies, just great memories being made and that's something I am really enjoying.