O.T.R. sleever

Wow. People sure do look for offence where there is none.
If you do not want to tell people then don't tell people I see no one, let me repeat that, no one, in this thread saying you should tell the world you have WLS. If you want to keep it private then keep it private. Your choice.
What I do see and what I do agree with is people asking others not to lie. I see people asking others to either say nothing or be honest. What strikes me as so very, very sad is that this needs to even be said.
I am astounded actually at how many people in this thread have recommended lying. What a sad and sorry state of affairs for society when others deem it acceptable to lie without thought for consequence.
Dishonesty is repulsive and unattractive and all those who advocate outright dishonesty signal to me to be people I would not care to know.
There is nothing wrong with discretion. There is nothing wrong with the truth. Active dishonesty though, conscious lying about your surgery (or anything really) is justlain wrong. And no amount of coming back and trying to justify your lying and dishonesty is going to change that.
Say nothing or tell the truth. Simple. Don't lie. You do yourself and others no favours by bullshitting (or attempting to bullshit) others.

I'm just going to be honest, I have nothing to hide.

Tell the truth(.) Why wouldn't you? If anyone ask i tell I start from the beginning with my lap band to now. I'm not embarrassed however after first I was but then I said bump it! I'm proud of my decision to get control over my health and I definitely wasnt heavy eater or anything like that I just couldn't get the weight off me.
You have to personally find your BUMP it thought and go with it.
I do think people are embarrassed and that's why they don't tell the truth. You wouldn't hide showing up with a baby when you never appeared pregnant its all a blessing. You telling someone like you can help them because honestly only people who are bigger ask me a skinny person will act like they don't notice.

Don't be ashamed or scared- Tell the truth.
Lying is toxic, stressful, and puts a load on our shoulders. You don't owe them an explanation, but you also can choose to not lie. You can say "I had surgery" or some type of beginning of the truth, or you can tell really inquisitive people that you're not comfortable talking about it yet. When you're ready... tell the truth!

Yes ! Tell the truth

It's just so much easier to tell the truth - plus, you might just really help someone who really needs to talk with someone who's been through it themselves.
Yesterday I met a patient who is really obese, and her hip is wearing out quickly and she's only 48 years old. So even though I just met her And I'm her doctor, I told her about my experience, and now she's going to see my surgeon.
I feel that I can use my experience to help people.
When you tell others, they are almost always supportive. I don't worry too much what people think about me as long as they keep it to themselves

I vote for being open and honest. You will be surprised at the amount of support you get. You might have to explain all the health benefits you get from this surgery but it will be worth it. You might find that you will possible inspire some friends and family to pursue a healthier lifestyle, whether also getting the sleeve or just eating better. Good luck.

Tell them the truth if you are not comfortable saying nothing then just tell them the truth.
I have only ever had one negative comment, and even that I dealt with later by letting the person know that their comment was neither accurate nor kind and they apologised and retracted having not meant to cause offence.
In addition, I have discovered several people in my work and social life who have also had WLS. It has given me a wider support network with people who understand. Many have been amazed at how open I am about having had the surgery, but really why not be open I say? It is not like they did not know I was obese and struggling before. I knew as I lost weight people would positively comment and ask what I had done and I would not, could not, lie. Especially not to others struggling with their weight. I would hate to give the message that these amazing results are through diet and exercise alone.
Honesty always works when silence isn't an option.

Omg, no one cares if you all keep it a secret. It's all the cover stories and lying about how you are losing the weight.

People never cease to amaze me.
They advocate lying then attack people who simply say "honesty is the best policy".
One simple question. Why attack someone for recommending the exact thing that we were all taught as children?

Well some of will probably be way to young to remember but a few years back 2 public people had WLS. Al Roker and Star Jones. From the outset Al said I have a problem and this is how I'm going to fix it. He was up front and honest and I know he taught ME being healthy was more important than what others thought.
On the other end we had Star Jones, who said she was dieting and exercising. No one believed her because you just don't drop weight this fast with diet and exercise alone. Finally it came out she had lied, and from what I have seen her career has been in a downward spiral ever since. Why would we trust her after that????
Personally I have always been upfront and honest about my lapband. There is only one person in my life who has made me consider withholding info this time, and that is my SIL. She did not like the fact that she was the fattest family member instead of me.
If those of you out there still don't want to say you had WLS, they are beginning to do metabolic surgery for those with metabolic diseases such as diabetes and pcos. Do some research.
Laurie

It is possible to be honest or to maintain integrity without being cruel or heartless. I would rather say nothing than lie, even if it is a lie that others would consider little or white.
I know I would rather people be honest with me and if I seek an opinion on whether my butt looks big I need to accept the answers I am given!
As for the tragic situation you describe, how truly awful and I am sorry you found yourself in such a situation. This is one of those ones where I would choose to say nothing about how they died given the ages of the kids. The information that they had died is difficult enough and there is no need to tell such a young child details that would serve no purpose to tell them. This is not lying though. Right through out this thread I have always maintained discretion as an option over lying.

Huh? I don't know about purgatory. I am an atheist and deal in the truth not in make believe. I am not perfect nor did I ever claim to be. All I claim to be is honest, and prudent in not trusting others once they demonstrate them selves to be untrustworthy.
Whether or not you lie is of no consequence to me at all. You are free to be a liar and I do not for a moment consider you will simmer in any purgatory, burn in any hellfire, or be judges at some world ending moment. You being a liar just means others won't trust you nor will they believe what you say. Your choice and your consequence nothing at all to do with me.

Say whatever you like in order to try and justify your position. It is irrelevant to me and no amount of name calling will turn the person who consciously and actively choses to lie and deceive others into anything other than a liar. Because lying is lying, regardless of reason or motivation. You can go on the attack towards me, and others, all you like but it doesn't change the fact of it.
Do I judge people for lying? Yes. Yes I do. When someone lies, when someone is dishonest with me or with others, then yes I do judge them as a liar. This judgement means I will be careful I my dealings with that person and that I will not automatically believe anything they say or trust in their word. I am not at all ashamed of the ability to judge and reason as the best indicator of someone's future behaviour is past behaviour and any one skilled in interpersonal relationships knows this and makes decisions on who they trust and don't trust.
People have a choice here, tell the truth, or keep the truth to yourself and say nothing, or lie. Respect the first two. I have no respect at all for those who lie.

Keep in mind the study quoted in this report was RNY patients. In no way can VSG patients be compared. The surgeries are absolutely different.