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AnnMarie49930

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Blog Entries posted by AnnMarie49930

  1. AnnMarie49930
    I have been a single mom for many years. Yes, I have a boyfriend but have done the child rearing on my own for about 13 years. My daughter will be 16 in August. My son just turned 15 on the 5th.
     
    As I stated in an earlier post I have always been on the heavy side. This is the longest I have actually cared about what I eat, how many grams of protein, how many calories.
     
    Tonight while cleaning up from dinner I was talking to myself about how instead of eating the left over cookie dough I put the bowl in the sink. My daughter looked at me and said " Mom, you've actually been doing good on what you eat and it shows. You haven't smoked in a while too. I'm really proud of you." While I really wanted to cry because no one tells me they are proud, i just smiled and said "Thank you Becca"
     
    P.S. I did eat one small cookie. I figured I would eat one and that would be it instead of looking, fighting it for a hour or two and give in and eat half the plate! Self control!!!!
  2. AnnMarie49930
    I had my sleep study last night. It went pretty well. I fell asleep around midnight and woke at 8:30. I don't remember any dreams I had but do remember waking about 4 times. Once was for the technician to come in and reattach a lead that feel off from my head. I have very long ( to my butt) wavy hair and he's peering around my head with a flash light pulling and tugging my hair to find that one lead. Now, anyone that knows me knows I love to joke around and make comments... so... me and my big mouth said "You 're pulling my hair and i'm not even having any fun". I'll blame that comment on the fact I was half asleep! HA HA HA
    Other then my night. Not much else has happened today!
  3. AnnMarie49930
    I have my second sleep study tonight. Yes, I said my second. I did one last year and did one at home about 4 or 5 months ago. Yet, I have to do it again. I'm not looking forward to it. I don't like sleeping somewhere besides my own bed and the fact that my two teen age children will be alone for the night doesn't really do anything to help matters. Oh, well. It's just another step in the process I guess.
    I realized something today. Its been about 2 weeks of the high protein, low fat, low carb diet and while eating dinner i ate the protein, then some vegetable and took maybe two bites of the scalloped potatoes ( which i would normally pig out on) and said "I'm full yet again!). Proud of myself for not eating everything that was in front of me. It's taking time but the way I eat is changing.
    My daughter, who will be 16 in August said it looks like I am already loosing weight. I have no idea as I haven't been weighed in a week. I hate the scale. It is NOT my friend but one day will be!
    I am eating my small meals as told. I now eat breakfast, something I haven't done in years and snack on string cheese, yogurt,or peanut butter. Baby steps... and I will succeed!
  4. AnnMarie49930

    Me...

    By AnnMarie49930,

    I have always been a "plus sided" lady. Actually, I don't like the term "plus sized". I'm fat! Being a short 5'3" tall and over 300 lbs.. I'm fat. When younger I have tried the fad diets. The cabbage soup diet. The boiled hot dog diet. Done Richard Simmmons "sweating to the Oldies". I would loose a few pounds, get discouraged and give up. Giving up has gotten me to where I am today. A morbidly obese woman.
    The past year I have put on at least 50 more pounds. And Man on man do I feel it! While I am upset with myself for getting this way I know only I can change the way I look, act and feel. I talked to my PCP about 2 months ago about the surgery. I need the extra help. I know that the odds of me doing this on my own at my age (41) would take forever and would not be as easy.
    In the past week I have seen the surgeon for the initial consult,saw the dietitian, had my psych evaluation and tomorrow night go for a sleep study.
    The dietitian said to cut back BIG time on carbs ( I love bread, crackers and pasta! Cheez Its call my name! ). I need to eat 4-5 small "meals" a day and each meal should contain approximately 25 grams of protein. Which to me is hard because I don't eat that much during the day. Night time is my pig out time. When my two children are in bed and my boyfriend goes to work ( he works third shift) I binge like there is no tomorrow. There have been nights I have actually eaten so much that I have gotten sick. I am not proud of this but did admit it to my boyfriend and the dietitian. I have been doing the high protein meals now for about two weeks. Today I kind of shocked myself. While eating dinner i ate half of the fish and said " I cant eat anymore. I'm full.". I never thought those words would come out of my mouth.
    So, the journey for me to be healthier has begun. I'm excited, scared, anxious and ready!
  5. AnnMarie49930
    For a woman that had so little self esteem and self confidence making small changes that are much needed are surprisingly not that hard (yet). For the past week I have watched what I eat and try not to over eat. When I used to pig out and even when full, still eat (at times until I was physically sick). Learning to say to myself "Okay, i'm done" is one of the hardest things for me. I have to say that I am proud of myself for finally taking control over so many aspects of my life. My boyfriend of 10 years also surprised me. Not only am I joining the wold of weight loss I am also giving up a vice I have had for 21 years. Cigarettes. John said to me the other night while we were eating dinner that he is proud of me. It brought tears to my eyes.
    On another note, I got the call about my psych evaluation. It's scheduled for June 15th at noon. On to step three. Step one being making the choice to make changes. Step two. the seminar. Step three, the psych evaluation.
  6. AnnMarie49930
    I'm on day two of no smoking. I knew it wouuld be hard but oddly enough, i'm doing very well. I haven't strangled anyone yet..lol My daughter did say I'm a little bitchy but to me, I earned that right. I have been watching what I eat. Been cutting back BIG time on the carbs ( I love bread.. it's a comfort thing to me). Brings back memories of my Gram baking and the smell of freshly baked bread wafting through the air and those fluffy loaves just sitting there with the steam floating up ... Okay, I need to stop this..LOL
    Ice cold grapes and oranges have become my best friends. I don't mind. I know i'm doing all this to better my health. Something I need to do.
    Today was a day of phone calls. I called my insurance company to ask them a million and one questions. I did find out that my entire surgery is covered! As is my appointment for the psych evaluation. I called to schedule an appointment for the psych evaluation, I was told they will call me within the next few days to schedule that. I called the surgeons office to see what to do next. The need to receive some paper work that I sent in before they can do anything more. They did tell me that my insurance was approved though! So that is great news!!!!
  7. AnnMarie49930
    I have been thinking of having weight loss surgery for some time now. And that is as far as it went. Thinking aboiut it. For years and years my weight has gone up and up with out me really thinking anything about it or acknowledging it. Well, here I am at 41 years old and more then morbidly obese. I am ashamed of how I look and feel knowing that I put myself into the situation I am in. I know that if I don't do something about it I could die and I am way to young for that to happen. I have two wonderful children that are teenagers and I want to see them grow into adults and have children of there own. There's so much in life I still want to see and enjoy. I took the first step about a month ago by talking to my doctor about how I feel about my health and weight issues. She and I talked about surgery and placed the call to Dr. English in Marquette Michigan. With in a few days the office contacted me and sent an information package in the mail. I admit it took a while to mail the package back to them. I wanted to be sure I had learned much more before taking the next step.
    On March 21st, I attended the conference where I learned much more and made the decision to mail the filled out forms back to Dr. English's office. Next step, make appointments for psych exam and so forth. One step at a time , baby steps.. and I will succeed!

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