keep your date !! im a single mum of four kids & have just moved to a new state where I know nobody except the people I work with. My kids are the only ones that know Im having this surgery & like you I think I have done too much for them over the years. Now when I ask for some help around the house its a battle!! I do everything plus work full-time. Im having this surgery for ME. You should do the same. Tell your kids and your hubby you are going through with it and they all have to step up and help. Write out a roster for them all and put it on the fridge, then dont talk about it anymore to them. If they cant be supportive dont engage them in conversation about the topic. Go and have your surgery and come home and look after YOU as number one. if they need clean clothes they will learn how to wash, if they are hungry they will learn how to cook! I know there is alot more to keeping a household but please dont put this off, even if you end up washing wet towels & scrubbing dirty dishes for the next six months after healing from surgery it will still be worth it!! Do something wonderful for YOU! YOU deserve it!