kkccmom

About a week post-op, I got so sick I could not eat/drink a thing w/o feeling like I was going to throw it all up. I could not stomach the Protein shakes, so I know I was not getting enough nutrition in any form!! It was a vicious cycle for about a week! I had about 2cc of Fluid removed on about Day 12...and he told me I could start eating SOFT foods. A by-pass-patient friend recommended Taco Bell refried Beans....= HEAVEN!! lol BUT, this meant I had virtually NO restriction...so for the past 3 weeks I've been free-lancing!! And like Joann, BOY DID I EAT. Not much during the day (stayed busy) but at supper, when I am fixing for my family - wow. I got some fluid put back in yesterday - not as much as was taken out, but we discussed taking this slow to avoid any complications. Today, I'm feeling hungry, but will drink my Water until its time for lunch. Supper I CHOOSE to do what is right. Its unlikely you have harmed yourself...BUT, like everyone said, TODAY/TOMORROW is a new day. Face your "crime" - and clearly you have done the time (berating and hating yourself = been there/done that!!)...so move forward. Make a list of your WHYs....why you want/need to lose weight. Here are few of mine - and maybe yours are the same!? - 1. Get off the floor w/o help (or a wench) 2. No shame at the beach - both in my swimsuit AND getting up from sitting 3. Crossing my legs - without havng to hook a foot on something to keep it there! 4. Riding some of the rides at an amusement park (I have not fit into a seat in YEARS - shoulder bar crushes the girls and kills my back - NOT WORTH THE EMBARRASSMENT) 5. Holding my head high at a school function w/ my children 6. Shopping for clothes that do not start w/ a "2" and end with a "W" 7. Making love to my husband w/ the lights ON. (and add shopping at Victoria's and actually BUYING something!) 8. Shopping at CHICOs. 9. Seeing my feet when I look down. 10. Not getting stares in a restaurant, knowing I will no longer be judged because I am EATING. (these are not necessarily in order of my priorities - just what comes to mind!) That's the short version...but making a list of my WHYs has been really REALLY helpful. I have not lost a ton of weight (16 to date), but I am noticing some NSVs - rings and watch are looser, pants are looser in the fanny and around the waist (tho not falling off yet by any means)...those COUNT. I will not give up...and neither should you!! We are all walking the same pathway here...some are a little farther down the road, but there is nothing new under the sun for those of us who've let our stomachs be our god. ITS A NEW DAY. Now, hop up, look yourself in the mirror and hold your head up and tell yourself "I am worth it"...then go write down your WHYs...and you're off!! We're rooting for you!! Kim in IN

BAD food DAY....not bad "food" just bad "me" with food today. Guess that little withdrawal last week is finally leveling out....I have been bottomless today. Well, except for the fact that I'm actually pretty uncomfortable...ate a few bites of pizza, (my boys' lunch)...not a good idea. Might be different if it were a THIN crust (which is sorta cracker'y)...but NO, this was SELF-RISING CRUST pizza....too doughy. Oh dear. I just want to munch.... I did read that there would be days like this .... just gotta make sure there are FEW of them!! I just feel a "lump" in my chest....gotta avoid that!! Here's to a better evening....oh and, another thing I'm struggling with is DRINKING with meals. I have been, and know that's a no-no!! I just get so thirsty.....gosh, gotta work on that, too!! ----Kim

Oh, meant to add that I tried on my 18W jeans this morning -- COMFORTABLY loose!! Last time I put them on, I could barely button them, and we all know how miserable that is!! also, an 18W skort I've worn several times this summer (uncomfortably, I should add!) fit nicely, too. I asked my husband for a new COLTS t-shirt for the new season...normally I would wear a XXL, and thats a little snugger than I am comfortable...we got an XL, I brought it home, tried it on and it fits!! It'll be even better in a few more weeks! I'm sending my boys (12 and 8) with my husband for the pre-season games, then I will go when the regular season begins in Sept...and by then, I'll have the stamina to make the walk from the car to the stadium, and up to our birds-eye-view seats!! Those are NON-scale VICTORIES all of us should be watching for and celebrating!! --Kim

Carolina...I love your comparison to the baby...that's exactly right!! I've just been given the green light to eat MUSHY...it has felt so so so good!! I had some Taco Bell refried Beans - OH.MY.WORD. Divine! LOL Good source of Protein and so yummy! I will need to get some Bean-O, tho...oh my. Gas pains were not good. Will need to head that off at the pass. I've had serious nausea these past two weeks...feel I am rounding that corner, but I've been faithful to my 6-hr dose of Zofran. I want to try today to not use it. Feeling a little queasy right now, but trying to sip my Water. I had a scrambled egg for b'fast - not an egg fan, but also trying hard to focus on lots of protein today and figured that was a good place to start. Not sure its settling well, so I may have to give in to the meds. I am trying to listen to my body, to see if this nausea might be related to hunger. I quit eating the egg because it just didn't taste good - not necessarily because I was full. It went down all right, but not feeling that great right now. Still, wondering if 2 hrs is enough time and I should nibble something more....?? Still trying to figure that out. I have not eaten until "full" I don't think. Afraid to, so I'm just doing 1/2c of stuff (Soups, etc). Anyone tried eating Pasta?? Even a baby-food variety? I'm thinking it could be done if the pasta was REALLY finely mashed, with ample sauce and SMALL bites...??? I've enjoyed cream of potato Soup the past several days. I focus on mashing the potato bits w/ my tongue and it goes down great. Tastes wonderful. Its just a bag-mix I bought at the store, mix w/ water and simmer. Perfect!! Anyway, just so thankful to be eating FOOD. Makes all the difference in how I "feel" about it all...not eating really sucks. Enjoy Monday! --Kim

I am just learning all this...such a great question to ask! I am just now on mushy - and surgeon told me to eat a little (2-3 oz), then see how I "feel"...if I feel "comfortable" - I'm done. If I start feeling gurgly again in a couple hours, eat a little more. Struggle right now is gas...so sick to death of GasX...ugh. Still, it does help, as does walking. Guess I'd better get up and move a bit!! **off topic...did anyone have any allergic reaction to the surgical tape?? I left mine on until it started coming off on its own, but my skin is SO itchy...any suggestions about what to use to relieve that??? --Kim in IN

Hi Miriam... my band was placed July 31. It has been a really difficult journey for me..and recovery has taken much longer (harder) than I ever expected. I "am" 50 y/o, so someone younger may have an easier time... I'd say stick as true to the pre-op as you can. I will say that "I" did "cheat" a couple times, but never once over the top...still, Carolinagirl is right....its training ground for what's ahead. Be sure you are DRINKING as much as you can, esp post-op. Do your best to get in ALL the nutrition you can post-op...I didn't do that b/c I was so DONE w/ the shakes, and ended up feeling SO SO SO SICK...still, do Soup as soon as you can. You won't feel deprived and your body won't revolt on you (like mine did). Don't believe for one minute that this is an "easy" road...it is NOT. But be sure to DRINK, "eat" what you are allowed, WHEN you are allowed, and you'll do fine. Just don't rush yourself. I think I have done that, and it causes LOTS of stress and depression can easily set in. Today is my first best day since I came home on aug 1. I feel stronger today than yet...actually had some TACO BELL refried pintos & cheese. Not something I can do daily, of course, but its great Protein and felt great to be eating NORMALLY....so it will come. Do what you are told...the headaches and fatique will pass, but get it all in...and DRINK DRINK DRINK your water/sugar-free stuff... Good luck!! Post often and let us know how you're doing. I, for one, am a strong believer in NO JUDGEMENT if you feel like crap and want to vent...this ain't for the faint-of-heart...so you have a right to whine, but we won't leave you in the ditch!! Best! --Kim in IN

Linda...SO AWESOME! That you were able to eat eggs gives me such hope!! LOL Seriously, so happy you came through all right and are feeling pretty good! We'll be anxious to hear how things progress in the days head! Get some rest!!

FANTASTIC that you have someone near and dear to 'watch' during this journey. That's great. I don't have anyone near me, so I'm just winging it here. I do have a friend in MO (I'm in IN) who's had it done (2 yr ago); he's lost 100 lbs, and feel fab!! He is my 'nearest' inspiration...but I just keep saying "its only two weeks!"...tho I do realize its actually more than that with the post-op restrictions. But some days I do say, too, "why don't you just learn to love yourself the way you ARE and not have to put yourself thru 'this'?" Its so tempting to give in to that...esp today when I'm just so hungry. Still, we press on.

Anne...LOL...I know just what you mean!! My hub and boys had spaghetti w/ Ital sausage last night! It smelled SOOOOOOO GOOD....and its one of our fave meals. I am struggling, too, with not being present at the table with them or just sucking it up and trying to just ignore what's going on....we soooooo value our family dinner time so I just can't bring myself to absent myself from them. BUT, depending on how I feel going along here, I just might have to. But yes, you're right....WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!! Thanks for posting!

Day Four...hardest so far. I'm REALLY hungry today. Not sure why more today than the previous 3...but I am. I am holding steady, tho...have had two shakes today and a s/f Jello. That stuff just plops down in your belly...makes me not hungry for about 10 minutes. What has been the hardest day for you all?? A friend told me that DAY THREE of any fast is the toughest...once I'm through that, it should be easier. But Day Four is proving tougher than yesterday. Of course I'm not caving, but do wonder what day you all found to be your hardest???

Linda...I'm with you! Mine is STRICTLY the shakes I had to purchase from my clinic. Day Three is down, and I did it, too! I am not getting in as much as I know I need...today was a crazy day and I was away from home all afernoon, so got in only 3 (should be getting 5)... Got in a 35 min walk yesterday and 20 today. I KNOW that is A MUST for this to work. HOWEVER, I am not willing to turn into an exercise fanatic...I've done that before, lost weight, but it is not something I can reasonably maintain...the crazed exercise, I mean. WALKING is reasonable, 4-5 days/week...but I cannot see going hard and strong and not being able/willing to keep it up...then I am bound to see a slowing of weight loss, and THUS discouragment - which gets to me very easily. So, I'll do some every day I'm on this liquid diet to be sure I maximize the results for surgery, but I am not willing to say I'll walk every single day, for an hour. Best to you, Linda! Keep us posted on victories - NON-scale and otherwise!! --Kim

YOU ARE RIGHT, Melinda, ON EVERY POINT. And frankly, its not news to me, but ALL OF IT bears repeating - and LISTENING-TO, over and over. I am notoriously "half-empty" when it comes to ME. I have a wonderful husband (who married the "chunky me" 13 years ago), 4 awesome kids (DD24, DD21, DS12, DS8), a lovely home, a fulfilling cottage-industry business (www.kcarddesigns.biz) , friends who do not judge me because of my size 20W, nor will they love me more when I am a 12/14M. ... Its ME who can't give ME a break. I was a trim kid/teen/college student. I was 140'ish when I married in 1983...started gaining w/ my first child in 87, and its been snowballing ever since. Lots and LOTS of stressors thru the years, and some underlying "Payback" attitudes toward my first husband during our 13 year marriage (I lost him to cancer in 1996), and some "control" issues in my second marriage...I'm a head-case, to be sure. SO, there are some "issues", just like most everyone else, and lots of SHAME that had accompanied my weight-gain. I hide from the camera like a criminal, either avoiding it altogether or hiding behind someone or some thing. Sadly, my young boys will have FEW pictures of their mama...until now. Boy, do I need therapy or what?? ha. Anyway, I appreciate the nudge regarding improving the shakes. I will definitely look into it. The coconut idea sounds really great. Never thought of adding extracts!!! Duh. I wonder if I had the chocolate variety, if I could successfully (read: DELICIOUSLY) add Peppermint Extract and enjoy it?? I LOVE chocolate/mint anything....hmmmm....maybe I should consider that!? I did manage a 25 min walk last evening. Went the main-loop of our subdivision. Didn't feel overly winded when I got back, but it was stiflingly HOT & MUGGY here in Indy, so I was a sweat-ball when I got home. I cooled down, then took a cool shower. And felt VERY PROUD OF MYSELF for having DONE IT. My friend has also applauded my success and has me committed to doing something today too, as you have!! Thank Heaven it is raining in our area right now, but maybe later today I will get to the street to make another circle. I did do some deep cleaning on my kitchen this morning, working up a nice lather. That surely counts for something??? Still, walking is my best thing, so once I get over "starting" I'm usually good to go. Anyway, thank you again for your kind encouragement. I know I will likely lose some weight in this pre-op stage. I'm counting on it!!... but I also know the critical reasoning behind it, and I do want everything to go smoothly. I stepped on my scale this morning: 221.8 (I need to figure out how to add one of those meters.) It was 224 at the clinic on Tuesday...don't know what it was here, tho. Still, obviously easier for me to track on mine than theirs, so I'll go w/ that. It is empowering, because I know a month ago I was knocking on 225-226. Encouraging. Cheers! Kim

I had no choice with the Protein shake product...it is MANDATORY and supplied by my clinci, for $225!!! I have 'cheated' with a couple SMALL bites of what I was fixing for my family, but I'm extending lots of grace here, KNOWING this will NOT go on. Like you said, if I give in to all the gnoshing, 'what's the point?' FOR SURE. I selected vanilla shake powder, thinking that was at least a little more flexible than the flavored ones. However, all I've found so far that even REMOTELY is down-able, is mixing it with 10oz of Citrus "Zero Water", shaking it w/ ice cubes, then pouring over ice and slamming it down thru a straw. I know it could be MUCH worse, but I figure just get 'er down and all is well. I do admit it does take the edge off the hunger, and I am determined to do this. I have considered some sort of procedure for a few years now, and only this year talked my husband into "letting" me go this route. He had fears about the long-term unknowns with the Sleeve, AND the risks with by-pass. SO, we're on for July 31, and there ain't no going back!! I will say when I left the clinic yesterday, after picking up my DELICIOUS & NUTRITIOUS shake mix for $225, I was thoroughly depressed. Worried sick about actually having the courage to do it, and do it right. I have sinned (akin to a 'white lie' I think), but will not let that derail me. I felt afraid, basically. and today I read over ALL the instructions for what to eat, when, etc etc etc, and I must say its pretty overwhelming. Sooooooooooooooooooooo many rules and restrictions and potentials issues....how many times will I puke because I did something wrong??? THAT scares me. So, I know you are right about getting my head in the game. I think, for me, this is going to be a DAILY battle. Not a "I'm THERE!" kind of victory, but day-by-day, thinking through the reason I am doing this (MYSELF, my health and my family having me around for a while longer!) and keeping in mind "Its only two weeks!" -- so small in the whole scheme of things. Thanks, Rachel! I'll keep an eye on you -- please do the same for me!! -Kim

Thank you, Melinda, for the encouragement! I did try the shake in my blender the first day -- decided it wasn't my bag. I felt that it was just prolonging the awfulness...it about tripled the volume!! So, today I mixed it with 10oz Zero Water (citrus flavor)...shook it w/ some ice cubes, then poured it over ice and slammed it down thru a straw. It was do'able that way. Would give almost anything if I could add fruit!! Strawberries or peaches....oh my. Trying REALLY HARD to not think about it long, tho....no point in making it worse, eh?? Yes, only 2 weeks. I keep telling myself "You can do this!"... starting to believe it. Problem is, I find I am not drinking one at all rather than HAVING to do it. Which means I know I am not getting the basic calories I need and will just not thrive on so little. I do the same thing when I'm on WW...if I can't decide what to have that's w/in my points range, I opt for nothing. Eating too little doesn't help either, I know. So, I've got to do better. In fact, I think I'll get up and go get a shake right now!! Thanks for the note...I'll be reading up on what others are saying. Need all the hand-holding I can get these days! --Kim

Hi everyone....I started my liquid diet today...for two weeks. Procedure is scheduled for July 31. I started this day with GREAT DREAD, because, like most of you, I AM A FOODIE. I love the taste, texture and comfort that REAL food gives me...and to go w/o that for two weeks, well....its not something I'm looking forward to. I HAD to purchase a Protein shake from my surgeon's office. They require this because there are SO many varieties out there, they want to be sure I am getting the most for my $, and that I am adequately prepared for the surgery. I have had TWO shakes today, and must say that I have a LONG way to go to get it figured out. Its gonna be a LONG two weeks! I have been encouraged, watching some YouTube videos "before/after" stories....and those have re-enforced my resolve that this is THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Finally. I'm 50 y/o, and still have lots of years ahead. Want them to be the best ever!!