Hello Jess,
First I want to comend you for sharing your story and for your honesty. It sounds like you have had a tough few months emotionally and physically been put through the ringer. I truely feel for you. I got my band in February of 2010 it was a tough decision for me and I did a lot of research before going through with it. I bought into the whole life style change, I changed the way I ate, what I ate and more important why I ate. I exercised, ate right, followed all the advice such as small bites, no talking during meals, no straws, no pop diet or regular. For the first year and half things were great then my band disconected from the port, so I had to go in and have it reattached. That was more painful then the original surgrey. Recovery was horrible and painful. When I finally felt better I started back at the gym, started back with my fills and then went to get a fill and they were unable to pull any out because after a xray I found out the port is broken again. Since I can't take any more time off work I have to wait till July to have it fixed. I have good days and bad days. My emotions go up and down . I have found though that if I stay focused as to why I did this to begin with and that would be my 12 year old. See i am a single mom of a beautiful 12 year daughter and I needed to get control of my health and my life and the band helps me do that. I have been able to cut back on my diabetes medicine and I feel better, and my blood pressure is good and I have hope..hope I won't end up like my parents...my mom died in 2000 of a massive stroke and my dad is a two time open heart surgrey patient. Up I didn't meet the 100lbs over weight bar but I raked up enough comorbidies to be eligible for the surgrey. Jess you have to think why you had this operation and how can the band if it's working correctly how it can be a tool to help you get and keep control of your eating. I hope for the best for you and please know you are not alone. I have only been on this site for a few weeks but I have learned alot from so many people on this site. There is a great number of wonderful people on this web site willing to offer support and advice to help you through this difficult time. Hang in there thing s will get better just take it slow and I think seeing a counselor/therapist is a great idea we all need someone to bounce things off of and get an objective point of view.
Take care, Maura