I know it must be awfully hard to hear the negative comments about him but that is exactly what is needed. I may be wrong but it seems you love him more than he ever loved you. As overweight women we always seem to lack self esteem and therefore settle for less than we deserve. We somehow consider ourselves fortunate when someone show us a bit of attention. At 266 lbs and 5' 3" I know I have been there. I have allowed men to treat me like crap and settled for way less than I deserved. 3 years ago I put an end to all that. I woke up one morning and decided I was going to love myself! All 200 plus pounds!!!! I have never looked back! I focused on my happiness and the happiness of my daughter. I realized my happiness depended on me and not someone else. Please pick yourself up out of that bed or depression will consume you. Do not give him the power to ruin your happiness. I have been exactly where you are and it felt as if my life was over, but I had my daughter to think about. How selfish would I have been to give up on her because of a man? You can do this!! I did! I am a survivor never more to be a victim. Wishing you all the best and try to remember that you are most important! Take care of you so that you can give your son the beatiful vibrant Mom he deserves to have*hugs*