Well, my goal is still to get to 167. Once I get there we want to think about baby number 2. I am promising myself now that I will NOT gain so much next time around. After baby two my goal will be to get back to 167, and then maybe a TT.
I will say that for the first time in my life I feel like I have a little control over this monster. It's amazing to feel full after a small meal, and I just know this is going to work. Plus, with my dedication to excercize I can't sabotage the work I do at the gym.
I still struggle a little bit on wether or not this was the right thing to do. I have been such a proud advocate of the fat girl my whole life I wonder if I am letting myself down somewhere but then I think maybe this is the lesson I am learning, maybe understanding that it's ok to seek help is the moral of the story. After all when people have drinking or drug obsessions they seek help, counseling, detox, rehab. Fat people are just considered lazy and people think we should just get it together. It's insane. Since I have lost the weight before the right way I can say I have had both experiences. This way I am starting to realize helps balance my efforts and for that I am greatful. I am sure there is more I will learn on the way. At the end of the day I still feel like there is a purpose to me doing this and that eventually there is something I am supposed to share. Time will tell.
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