Well as the surgery approaches I have moments of being scared, insecure, and I still wonder if I am doing the right thing. On the other side I feel as though I have to do this & it is my last hope. I barely fit in my work clothes I feel like a slob at work and I feel generally unhealthy. On the weekends I am in hiding. I stay at home all the time & just hang out in my sweatpants, and my favorite pastime is napping. My life has become so sad. I feel withdrawn from the world. Those are all the reasons I am moving forward with the band. It makes me feel that there is hope again. I have always enjoyed excercizing and I am anxious to get that old life back. I feel like the band will prevent me from sabotoging myself and that is the help I need to truly be successful. Well, thankfully I have guests in town the next two weeks so I will not have much time to think about the surgery. It will be here before I know it. I will just be so relieved after the surgery part is over so I can start getting my life back. I am not afraid to do the work that will be required, in fact I am excited. I am really motivated to get to 167, which is 6 lbs less than I have ever been as an adult. The first milestone will be fitting into my size 18 suits, than my size 16 suits, then the real fun will begin! That is the part that gets me motivated. :biggrin1: Plus, most of all, I want to be the active young mother that my baby girl deserves. That will be the best reward.