The decision is made

Well, today I scheduled the surgery date (April 4th, 2007) and I am scared and excited all at the same time. I have some big factors that got me to this decision; I want to be the best mom and wife I can be, I want my life back, I want to be active, and I want to be the kind of mom that is engaged in my daughter's life. I feel like I have been in hiding and on the sidelines for way too long. I know having the band as a tool to prevent my binge eating will help me succeed. I love to excercize and be active and I am so looking forward to getting my life back. I have two things that I am worried about 1) dying in surgey. I know this is a crazy fear based on the statistics but nonetheless its my fear. I am trying to concentrate on my eveloution after the surgery rather than the dreaded day. 2) My husband is struggling with my decision to move forward partly because he thinks I am putting myself in a situation that could be harmful (surgery) and partly because I am a self pay at 12K is a lot to endure on a family budget. But, he is a wonderful man and I trust he will come around to support me by the time they are rolling me into surgery. At the end of the day I just know this is a new chapter in my life and I am looking forward to journaling my story. Most of all I have this picture of me and my daughter a year from now running and playing at the park together. I am wearing some capri jeans and a tank top with my hair in a big floppy pony tail. She is in a similar outfit with the same hairstyle. We run, we roll in the grass, and we play. Mother and daughter just laughing on a sunny day. I guess that is what this whole thing is about in the end; getting my life focused on the important things and not food.