Sojourner

Well.................... a very deep subject. So my fellow bandsters, new found cyber friends I want to share my success with you and help you to understand that this process is possible but you have to jump in with both feet and be 100% committed to this process. So I will go back to the beginning. High my name is Diane and 2 years ago I was morbidly obese. I used food as a coping mechanism for every aspect of my life. I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was sad, I ate when I was stressed and i would even eat and lie to myself about the fact that I ate. (Sound familiar) Well one day, I not only had to take a long hard look in the mirror but I had to recognize that my body was no longer coping well with the extra weight on my 5'1" frame. I weighed 252 lbs at my heaviest(Check out my profile, I was very "FAT" there is no other word to describe me. Oh yes I did have a "NICE" smile, still do but now I have cheek bones) I like many of you had tried many WL options from fad diets to Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig and also like many of you I FAILED! Notice I said "I" failed. You see all of those "DIETS" worked but what I failed to do was truly embrace the changes that were needed in my life, the changes that I needed to be successful. But I now believe I had to fail in order to succeed. I see myself just like any addict, I had to hit rock bottom before I truly could commit myself to changing my life. When I started on this site I chose to pick a name that I could grow to love, a.k.a. my user name LovetheNewMe. The other decision I made when I signed onto this site was to be honest and give back as much as I was taking away. I like many of you read and sat in the back ground for many weeks and tried to learn, not only from the successful but also from the struggles.
 
If I could pick three things that have made me successful I would have to say they are "Me, Myself and I" I am sorry to burst anyone's bubble but the Lapband is not why I lost weight, I lost weight because I have learned how to eat and I have learned what a portion is and I have learned that you get out of this what you put into it. If you sit on your butt and expect the weight to fall off, or have your band so tight that you can only drink liquids or puck back half of everything you eat, YES you can lose weight but YOU will not keep it off. You have to embrace the concept of the band, the band does not prevent you from eating the junk food, actually the band encourages you to eat junk food. I know your all thinking this women is flippin crazy. But think about it, when your band is tight and protein will not go down what do you lean toward. SLIDERS! Foods that are high in calories and low in nutritional value. I have read over and over on this blog that people had the surgery so they would not have to count calories, track their food or exercise. Well good luck to all of them because I know me, I am the queen of manipulation and I was real good at telling me that it was OK to eat the fast food on the way home from work and still eat dinner because no one saw me eat it but LITTLE olé me, myself and I. So, what is my point...
 
You have to embrace a healthy life style and you have to remember that what you lose you can always gain back if you do not embrace a healthy life style. It really is true, You are what You EAT!. You have to learn to eat like a thin person and think like a thin person to be a thin person. I am still in the phase of my journey that I am a thin person but there is still a FAT girl living inside me that still struggles to get out some days. I am determined that the "FAT" girl in me is gone forever. I keep pictures of me at my heaviest in plain site, in my house and office. I do not want to ever forget how far I have gone. Just looking in the mirror does not always do it for me, a picture is worth a thousand words. Yes I have reached my ideal body weight, Yes I have dropped from a size 24 to a size 4 (no that is not a type "O") I still log my food every day, I still weight and measure my food, I eat off a small plate, I lay my fork down between bites, I do not drink with meals 30 min before or 30 min after meals, I do not graze, I do not eat unplanned snacks, I do not succumb to peer pressure and I DO exercise 4-5 days per week.
 
The best advice I can give any bandster is:
Follow the rules
 
Keep in touch with your WL Surgeon
 
Drink Water
 
Exercise
 
Set realistic goals (Boys and Girls we did not get FAT over night and you are not going to get thin over night. To lose weight you have to decrease your intake and increase your activity. Your body is a living, breathing machine and you to have burn calories to lose weight and the only way I know how to do this is to exercise. It still takes 3500 calories less than your body needs a week to lose one pound per week. That calculates out to 500 calories less per day than your body burns. You have to learn what your body needs just to maintain your current weight. There is a very narrow balance between what you need and not eating to little. If you eat to little your body will think you are starving and eventually stop losing weight.)
 
Learn to eat healthy( The reason you have to do this is because of rule #5)
 
And last and the most important, EAT YOUR PROTEIN. (It has been proven that bandsters that heat 70gms or more protein are more successful with weight loss) Protein make you feel fuller longer and takes longer to digest thus decreasing your desire to eat.
 
And last bit of advice and probably the most important; Learn to love your self, believe in your self and know that you can do this. Anything is possible with hard work and dedication.

So here is the old me beside the new me.
 

 
 
Good luck to all of you who are just startng or those of you who are struggling. If you are struggling, forgive your self and move forward, if you are just starting or thinking about LBS, know you are going to have to work hard because this is a Life Style Change and just having the surgery and the band does not mean you will lose weight.
 
LovetheNewMe

I am 100% born and bread southern girl. I even grew up on a farm. Being from a small community and a small baptist church food is everything. I mean seriously, being southern and southern baptist = we eat for every reason. The southern way is when someone dies you take food, when someone has a baby you take food, we someone has a birthday you have a party with lots of food. The old saying about baptist and fried chicken are not far from the truth. Our church go together all the time for means, homecoming, revivial, bible school, weddings, funerals, heck we had Wed night dinners at church.
 
At home each summer my mom, grandmother and I would work in the garden. At 31 years old I can freeze or can any veggie and make my own home made pickle. There is no fruit I can't make a cobbler with. In the summer each weekend we would make some kind of sweet treat for whom ever may drop by for a visit on Sunday afternoon. Yes, people still lived like this in the last 30 years. I am totally not complaining I had an awesome childhood. I knew how to cook by the time I was 13 and was cooking a full meal for the family at least once a week at that age. I still make my own pickle each summer, I hate store bought and I freeze fresh corn and can string beans and tomatos. I know I am odd, but I am me.
 
All this life revolving about food got me to nearly 250 lbs. Since I was 5 years old my weight has fluctuated up and down. In 9th grade I was already in a size 20. My senior year of high school I lost weight and got down to a size 16, but that was after an accident when lead to months of pain and physical theraphy. I manage to keep the weight off through college, but once I was out I gained that plus some. When I married I wanted to be the little ms suzy homemaker, so I would cook enough for an army because that was what I was use to, but it was just me and my husband. To keep the food and sweets from being thrown away we would eat it, so both mine and my hubs weight went up.
 
Now at 31 years old, I have decided to change. I have had to change my way of thinking. First off I have become the odd one who instead of bringing food to a greiving family I bring paper plates, and napkins or stamps. Since the family send thank you notes the stamps keep them from having to buy them. I have learned when hosting a party one sweet something the rest healthy ( think fruit plate and veggie plate). Instead of drinking the house wine of the south (SWEET tea) I drink water. Instead of frying everything, I grill, bake, broil and steam.
 
This has not and continues not being an easy transition, but it is happening and it is rewarding. Since I began this journey back in April, my husband's eating habits have changes and exercise habits have changed. He is eating better and working out more. My parents even though they are not here with us I talk to them a lot and they are trying my new healthy recipes and I have gotten my dibetic dad to change from gaterade to propel. So my trying to change me for the better are changing the ones I love. So it is worth it.
 
I told my husband once that nothing worth having ever came easy and this is no different. So instead of dreading each change I look forward to the challenge and will meet it head on with the help of my family. I am still a southern belle, but I won't continue all the southern traditions.

Oh, the struggles. I have had a rough couple of days. I have been VERY busy at work (140+ hours in 2 weeks) and it is getting to me mentally. I am tired and stressed and in my past life : ) this meant that I needed to hang out with my friend FOOD! So I am trying to work through this and I feel like a drug addict trying to kick a habit. I know I shouldn't be hanging out with my user friend bu I JUST WANT TO. I want to surrond myself with a table of FATTY food. All the delicious things I find comfort in. I feel like it is progress that I have identified my trigger, which helps me to try and work through it. I have eaten some bad things but not in the quantities I used to. To try and get back on track I made sure to excercise today and stick to my healthy packed lunch. So yes I did struggle through the weekend and Monday and Tuesday but I think things are looking up. I think these are the important parts of the journey to be succesful in long term results. To learn and alter my behavior.

Well, yesterday I was. I was happy for 5 minutes. Maybe 7. I didn't time it (though now I think maybe I should have).
 
I had my weekly weigh in, and for the first time since the week after surgery, I actually lost 1 whole pound. Plus. I lost 1.8 lbs. Yippee! That's like a normal weight loss, right? That means I really CAN lose 1-2 lbs per week just like the surgeon told me. I can be a real bandster! I can lose this *#$#&$%@! weight in less than 5 years! I can do it! I ROOOOCCCCCKKKKKKK!
 
Then I remembered that I lost 0 last week. Zero. Zilch. Goose eggs. The big nothing. Which meant that my mind automatically did the math (I hate when it does that. I hate math.) and calculated that this fact brought my average down to 0.9 lbs for those 2 weeks.
 
Yup, less than a pound a week.
 
Cue 3-year-old temper tantrum. It was a thing of beauty. Seriously. I scared the dogs.
 
At this point, I'm seriously considering adding lithium to my list of supplements. These mood swings can't be healthy. Yesterday, I let my annoyance guide my eating (but I still tracked it all). Today, I'm back to sanity (or my version of it) and reminding myself that I get a fill next week. My second fill. One that will hopefully bring me that much closer to restriction. I want it so bad I can taste it, and it tastes like skinny.

I can officially say I"m in the 170"s. I weigh between 178 & 179. I offically lost 70lbs. My 2 year anniv is 3/25/12. I'm happy.

Wednesday night was the Seminar on WLS. I found it very informative but also felt prepared after scouring this website so much! There was about 10 people there, the WLS Coordinator spoke first then one of the three Bariatric Surgeons. I was actually a little let down, I had gone in so stoked about the Lap Band, and the surgeon that came actually disliked Bands and much preferred the Sleeve or Bypass over Bands ("difficult to balance, very easy to put in, very low risk BUT highest failure rate with post-op weight loss).
 
After the seminar I introduced myself to the coordinator and we chatted for a moment about my insurance (I asked if I could fax back in the paperwork instead of mail - again, I'm Type A, tell me to do something I get it done, and I want it finished NOW). She asked more specifics on my plan and when I filled her in that I had UHC through my husbands employer, and who that was, she was ecstatic! She said she had already approved 3 patients that worked for his employer this year, and the insurance was an absolute dream to work with. She said to fax in my paperwork ASAP, she would get it done the next day.
 
I came home FULL of info, got my paperwork filled out and faxed in the next morning (Thurs.). Cathy (WLS Coordinator) called that night about 6:30 and said that I completely met their criteria, it was VERY basic criteria, and they've given me pre-approval! She locked in my benefits, 20% co-insurance after my deductible (which I've almost met) and out of pocket max of $6000, which by the time surgery rolls around it should cost me only about $1500-$2500 out of pocket, then EVERYTHING will be covered the rest of the year since I will have met my max!
 
So now...appointments! There are about 20 steps before surgery. Tomorrow I have to have 13 lab tests done. On March 21st I have my 4 hour appt with the Dietician/Internal Medicine/Surgery Coordinator/Physical Educator, then the following week I have two appointments set up for my Psych Evaluation.
 
The timeline said to allow 2-3 weeks for insurance pre-approval and I got it in one day. I still need authorization, which comes right before surgery when I've done EVERYTHING and am ready to go, but Cathy said it should be a breeze.
 
I'm excited for the whole thing. 539 question psych test? Yay! Two weeks of skim milk pre-op? Bring it on!
 
Projected surgery date is mid-May/early-June. I've got to kick some butt fast afterwards because I have my best friends wedding in September and plan on looking astonishing.

A little over 24 hours since Fill #1, so anything I say here is speculative at best and ridiculous at worst. Good thing ridiculous has never stopped me.
 
My surgeon instructed me to stick to liquids for my first meal after the fill, but said that I could progress to mushies after that and back up to soft solids and then solids as soon as it felt comfortable. I'm assuming I still have some swelling, but no discomfort at all. Having liquids yesterday was touch and go. I felt full quickly at lunch (my liquid 1st meal), but it didn't last more than a couple of hours. I went to mushies for dinner and had no problem getting anything down, but I did notice that the more substantial meal stuck with me a loooong time. I ate at about 4 PM (because I was starving after my liquid lunch) and was still not hungry when I went to bed at 10 PM (yes, I live like an old woman at 36. Sue me ) That was great!
 
Today, I had a poached egg for breakfast and was good for about 4 hours. My lunch was tuna salad and it really filled me up! I ate about the same amount I was eating before the fill (about 1/2 cup) and I can totally notice the difference in satiety. Before the fill, that amount would end my hunger, but the reason I stopped eating was because the food was gone, not because I felt physically full or satisfied. After the fill, I feel full off the same amount of food. Not stuffed or uncomfortable but full, as if I would choose to turn down more food if it were offered (and free of calories!). It's a delightful feeling, because it tells me my band is really there! And it's working!
 
I wouldn't call what I feel "restriction" per se, because I don't feel anything unusual going down, and nothing is having any trouble sliding through, but like I said, I feel full off smaller amounts of food. Maybe that's what restriction is supposed to be? It could be that I've been misunderstanding the term all along. And it could also be that it's not really my band making me full but that residual swelling from the fill. Doesn't really matter to me at the moment, because either way, it's working. If this feeling fades in a couple of days or a couple of weeks as the swelling goes down, I can go back for a second fill in 3 weeks. Yay!
 
I'm on my way, kids, and nothing can stop me now!

My Pre-op went great!!! I met my surgeon, Dr. Reilly and he is wonderful! He made me feel at ease and answered all of my questions! His scale actually had me weighing 6 pounds less than my home scale. I bought a new one after that and surprise that one had me six pounds less also! But I registered with the hospital and they were awesome also! I am fourth in line and have to be at the hospital at 8:30am and she said if all went well I could go home by 3pm. I also met the bariatric coordinator and she was awesome also. She gave me so much information. I have two packets of pre-surgery info to read tonight.
Wow it is getting so close and feels real now. I am ready to get the surgery part over so I can start my new way of life.