CowgirlJane

@@eliminnowp I rode when I was obese, but it was slow and careful... for both me and my horse. Now, I get on just about any horse and ride like a demon. Life is good!

My horse is 25 (old) so I am borrowing a young Arab who has quite a bit of pep and is spooky and frankly often an idiot. I am a confident rider, but my friends worried about me taking this little loon on our 3 day riding adventure last weekend.
Kudos to both of us - together we encountered:
- a bear
- elk
- flushed a bunch of pheasants who flew up in a most alarming manner
- many close encounters with mule deer
- save a golden retriever who "messed" with the wrong does. Those mammas had that dog pinned to the ground and we had to rescue him on horse back!
Because my horse was younger and energetic, i did alot of riding off from the group and doing some "faster" riding and then rejoining them. The spooky little horse really did good!
oh, and hanging out with my pals for 3 days was epic all by itself!

The white one is my papilion, the wookie is Bella. She is super friendly and cute!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

My horse is 25 (old) so I am borrowing a young Arab who has quite a bit of pep and is spooky and frankly often an idiot. I am a confident rider, but my friends worried about me taking this little loon on our 3 day riding adventure last weekend.
Kudos to both of us - together we encountered:
- a bear
- elk
- flushed a bunch of pheasants who flew up in a most alarming manner
- many close encounters with mule deer
- save a golden retriever who "messed" with the wrong does. Those mammas had that dog pinned to the ground and we had to rescue him on horse back!
Because my horse was younger and energetic, i did alot of riding off from the group and doing some "faster" riding and then rejoining them. The spooky little horse really did good!
oh, and hanging out with my pals for 3 days was epic all by itself!

My first papillion was a terror. She was a breeding bitch at a puppy mill - I rescued her at age 5, she was in terrible health, wasn't leash or house trained... didn't know how to walk up stairs etc. When I had her spayed, we had to have all but 9 teeth removed due to deep rotting and infection. She weighed about 10#. She bonded with me like glue, but was always afraid of my sons (generally afraid of men). She was so smart though and constantly tricked the big dumb lab out of his bone. She sadly died after only 2 years due to organ failure/related to the horrible neglect she experienced those first 5 years. I hate puppy mill people - they are evil. At least this one gave away the "old" used up bitches rather than killing them like many of those losers do. Losing that dog was nearly as hard on me as losing some people in my life. I think part of it was because I was her only friend (she never did accept anyone else) and I felt like she had gotten a crappy deal in life and I so much wanted her to have a long full life with me. I have never felt so much... responsibility... toward an animal and even though I did everything possible to save her, I felt bad because I really couldnt save her.
My current pap was sort of a rescue - I got her at 7 months and she really hadn't been handled much (no house training, not leash trained and was not a lapseeker) but she hadn't been treated horribly like the first one. She is a doll and a lover... but I worked VERY hard to socialize her. She went through a period of time when she was fearful and aggressive about strange people and dogs and so I just kept up the socialization. She is very bonded to me and can be reserved with strangers until they tell her how cute she is... then the tail starts a wagging and she wants to be picked up. Extra bonus - she is expert at licking the unsuspecting victim right up the nostril... no extra charge. she weighs 7#. It was very important to me that she can be "happy" even if not glued to me, but I like her affection (I never get to use the bathroom alone - haha). I love that she is often found snuggled in bed with one of my sons or if we have friends over, she will lab surf and hand out kisses like the princess that she is. I am pleased that she is pretty mentally healthy - downside is she really doesn't "play" like with a ball or tug o war. I tried to teach her, but it's like i missed that development window. Other than that, she is a pretty normal, physically healthy, mentally well adjusted dog.
What was so cute is when I took her to obedience class she was initially afraid of the bigger dogs - especially the wild young ones. By a few weeks into class, we were almost always late due to traffic, she would insist on greeting everyone... it was almost like "the princess has arrived, with tail wagging, class may now commence" type attitude. She charms people with not just being cute, but being so sweet and flirty. She is also an awesome hiker etc. Her coat is pretty light for a pap so she doesn't overheat in the summer.
The dog that i had for 14 years was the dumb dumb lab mutt 100# pussy cat. He was a spaz, but a sweet spaz... and the girlie papillions totally bossed him around. With the first one, she was kinda mean to him (her tricks were so devious) but my current pap was always very sweet to him. They ate from the same bowl and she loved sleeping curled up against his belly - but no question who was the boss - all 7# of her. He died last year and we still miss the big sweetie. However,I don't want a big dog anymore.
So, I have gone back and forth on getting another but lil Suzy is lonely. She has always had at least one other dog (her first home had like 15 dogs which is why she wasn't handled or socialized properly and they gave her to me). I also like having more than one dog.
This cutie pie yorkie mix came up on a local rescue and I had to jump on it because small dogs are hard to find. I simply refuse to "buy" a puppy because of my experience rescuing that first pap from a puppy mill breeder. She is cute as a freaking bug, but i don't know about personality yet. I meet her on Saturday, she has been in a foster home so I will hear more from foster mom. I will of course take her through obedience class etc. and I think I can influence her as 4 months is younger than I got any of my other "rescues". i did know that yorkies are "stubborn" and can be hard to house train,but depending on her cross might be reasonable. I intend to spend alot of time with her before committing, but it is a 4 hour drive and she will be snapped up if I don't take her so I have to decide in one visit. I will bring my dog along if they let me.
BTW, i have rescued a pony from an auction - wasn't even halter trained and I trained him to drive. I am hardly an animal trainer/dog whisperer but this isn't my "first rodeo either". Cesar Milan may not be perfect, but he is right about the basics, exercise, structure/order and then affection. When you give them proper exercise and structure/discipline that goes a long ways toward improving behavior. All kisses and treats all the time makes for spoiled brats.... same is true of horses etc. It's just hard when the lil dogs look at you with those big eyes!
I will go meet her with trepidation and keep fingers crossed!
Glad to hear from fellow doggie lovers!

@@eliminnowp I rode when I was obese, but it was slow and careful... for both me and my horse. Now, I get on just about any horse and ride like a demon. Life is good!

My horse is 25 (old) so I am borrowing a young Arab who has quite a bit of pep and is spooky and frankly often an idiot. I am a confident rider, but my friends worried about me taking this little loon on our 3 day riding adventure last weekend.
Kudos to both of us - together we encountered:
- a bear
- elk
- flushed a bunch of pheasants who flew up in a most alarming manner
- many close encounters with mule deer
- save a golden retriever who "messed" with the wrong does. Those mammas had that dog pinned to the ground and we had to rescue him on horse back!
Because my horse was younger and energetic, i did alot of riding off from the group and doing some "faster" riding and then rejoining them. The spooky little horse really did good!
oh, and hanging out with my pals for 3 days was epic all by itself!

Here is another perspective. ...I had sleeve in Dec 2011...took me 14 months to lose 150#. For the first time in my life I am maintaining a normal size for over 3 years now!!! The whole thing with WLS isn't how fast you lose it, it's how long you keep it lost!
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I am 10# over goal, and 25# over my lowest weight. I am annoyed with it, but I am lucky to have people in my life who remind me how awesome and beautiful I am even with a little muffin top. I think this battle is won or lost in our own minds and heart and the first is accepting and caring for ourselves. I spent much of my life beating myself up, and i am not doing that!
I used to work out alot, but developed serious physical problems too, I don't have a good answer, but what I know is the "winners" are the ones who don't give up. You are in that catagory... just the fact that you acknowledge it and ask for help tells me that you will not regain all your lost weight. You can do this... but it will be slow. My advice is to not think in terms of "I need to lose XX by a specific date". Instead, focus on slowly improving your health... finding exercise that works for you, making alot of small better choices.
Hang in there - we can do this!!!!

This discussion is aimed toward people who are several years post op - NOT toward people early in their journey.
Are we relevant anymore to the new people posting?
More than once I have been "grouped" with some unknown (to me) group of people who are mean and dogpile on others. While I am unrelenting in the truth of my experiences I don't intend to cause harm. After awhile one does have to question if this is the case since the accusation is made both openingly and veiled and by more than one person.
I can discount it to some extent (opinions aren't necessarily shared by others, people can be a bit on edge in the early days etc) but lately I have questioned my involvement in these forums. I get something back, but to be honest I could probably get that support by posting in vet and maintenance forums only. I try to help because if it weren't for others - who have long since left- I probably would have not been sleeved nor found the lasting success. But, they have left,the next wave left, and others have replaced whilst I hang on.
I am asking this question, not just about me, but across the board. When I am feeling cynical I am reminded of my experience when banded when I was told I would just be satisfied to "eat dainty portions" and like magic I would become trim and slender. I feel that now the sleeve is being mass marketed with similar questionable advice. I am especially empathetic to those like me who had so much to lose and were pretty deep in the obesity disease process. Ann had a thread about how little value nutritionists added and I am keenly aware of how...useless...some of the guidance people are given in the mass marketing of the sleeve.
This sounds like burn out but it is actually a different question - at 4 years post op is my experiences relevant? Just because I needed to shift my whole dang world to maintain this huge weight loss - is that even useful/relevant now?
Part of why I ask here is because I have received some direct criticisms that I don't even understand...I feel like the hard of hearing granny who cannot understand why everyone is mad that I announced my grand daughter's bra size in public (yes, my granny did that as she was astounded at my girth!)
Again please respect that this question is directed to fellow vets.

There is alot of info in this thread:
http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/291240-52-links-and-info/
I was very successful with 5:2, but I couldn't keep doing it as I realized it was contributing to mood swings. I found out that happens to some people, so I really couldn't stay with it. However, I still use some of the basic concepts such as allowing a "long" overnight window of letting the digestive system rest. Also, of eating lighter on some days to make up for the higher days.
All in all, I thought it was easy to follow and effective - except for giving me an uneven mood which I didn't like at all.

There is alot of info in this thread:
http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/291240-52-links-and-info/
I was very successful with 5:2, but I couldn't keep doing it as I realized it was contributing to mood swings. I found out that happens to some people, so I really couldn't stay with it. However, I still use some of the basic concepts such as allowing a "long" overnight window of letting the digestive system rest. Also, of eating lighter on some days to make up for the higher days.
All in all, I thought it was easy to follow and effective - except for giving me an uneven mood which I didn't like at all.

Thank you for sharing.
When I was investigating plastic surgery/skin removal I talked to several people on the phone as well as of course forum messages etc. What I discovered is that the people that basically accepted themselves were the happiest with their skin removal results. It is similar to what you are saying, there has to be a basic self love, quality of life, good health in place before you can genuinely enjoy and fully benefit your new "slim life".
So, it is painful to regain but look at where you started! You are still a success story!!!

I am 10# over goal, and 25# over my lowest weight. I am annoyed with it, but I am lucky to have people in my life who remind me how awesome and beautiful I am even with a little muffin top. I think this battle is won or lost in our own minds and heart and the first is accepting and caring for ourselves. I spent much of my life beating myself up, and i am not doing that!
I used to work out alot, but developed serious physical problems too, I don't have a good answer, but what I know is the "winners" are the ones who don't give up. You are in that catagory... just the fact that you acknowledge it and ask for help tells me that you will not regain all your lost weight. You can do this... but it will be slow. My advice is to not think in terms of "I need to lose XX by a specific date". Instead, focus on slowly improving your health... finding exercise that works for you, making alot of small better choices.
Hang in there - we can do this!!!!

I think that there is alot of variation depending on where you live, your age, what you seek etc. Here are my personal experiences...
for me the problem is never things like single guys not having good grooming. I am a successful career woman and so far have managed to only meet guys that have at least some basic levels of grooming and socially acceptable behavior etc. The problem is that I am picky. I only want to date men who I find attractive, have chemistry, have a compatible lifestyle and who "interest me" in terms of conversation, hanging out and enjoying their company. It really helps if they are both outdoorsy (hunters, hikers etc) AND have an interest in ubran things too. Here is the kicker - add in a level of fitness and activity that I seek (but not necessarily the triatheletes crowd) AND a bit of city tastes too. Turns out that is not to easy to find!
I think my biggest obstacle is frankly my age. I have a youngish looking face/body but I am 51 and guys always want younger women so I struggle with the fitness/activity level of men in the 55-60 range which is my realistic "target market"...haha
I dated someone for 4 months who was 5 years my junior and that was a good fit activity etc wise. I saw someone awhile ago who is in his early 40s - it was never serious and he eventually moved to another city. He called me a few months back to tell me that he had dated 3 other women since we had seen each other... and that he realized he really missed out by not pursuing something more serious with me while he lived here. He brought up the age thing and stongly communicated that he knew he would be better off with someone in his same "life phase" etc. and since he is also pursuing early retirement felt he and I were more on track with each other than the younger women he had dated.
anyway, none of that helps me ...haha... because men STILL prefer women 10 plus years younger and if they have the looks, fitness and income they have no problem (apparently) finding that. I am not depressed or discouraged, but it is a reality for me.
My Profile:
So, as far as profiles go - I have experimented with different approaches and I feel like I have struck the magical combination. I keep it light, lots of very flattering RECENT pictures that show me in all walks of fun and life (good face closeups, good full body pictures, pictures of me windblown on the beach and mountains, cocktail dress, cowgirl dancing etc... I get lots of compliments on my photos because they are diverse and show me enjoying life. What surprised me is that I get very positive feedback on photos that are not necessarily what I consider the "best" - like all made up and pretty. It seems like the ones that grab people's attention are me on top of a mountain, with frizzy hair blowing in the wind more than all dolled up. Even the close up one - i have a selfie that isn't really my favorite because I think I look goofy, but I have a huge smile and that one gets alot of compliments - my smile has been called megawatt more than once. Interesting. I think the point is to be honest and yet positive and upbeat - look like someone who is fun to hang out with.
For the write up, I don't get too detailed, I avoid negativity, I keep it light and yet give strong indication of me and what I considered compatible traits.
I also very much believe in "picking who you desire, rather than waiting to be picked" - you get a better quality pool of potential dates that way. I know that men want to pursue, but sending a brief, sweet but not too pushy or flirty intro email seems to not violate that "rule". Guys don't always respond, but many do and they are the ones I am interested in of course!
I have matured in my approach to dating and I don't know if it is my new attitude, but I am beating them off with a stick right now...haha... it is easy to let someone pursue you, let them know you have some interest but let them do the chasing when you have many potential suitors. in fact, I have to regulate just how many I can be in conversation with otherwise it burns me out and makes me jaded - so I have to carefully manage my approach so my energy and vibes stay strong, optimistic, confident and all those things that people find attractive.
Attributes of men's profiles that send me running the other direction:
-whining about how awful women are
-whining about how frustrating online dating is
-whining about how many fat women, liars, cheaters (or fill in the blanks) they have encountered in online dating
-whining in general
-too many detailed criteria/checklist of what they are looking for. Even if I think I meet the criteria, there is a point at which I think... "this guy has a vision in his head that no mortal can live up to" (note that even though I am picky, I do not put the checklist in my profile because I want to keep an open mind). Also, the most picky ones often strike me as not having that much to offer - I mean they don't have a compelling message of why I should be interested, but they give alot of details on who they don't ever want to hear from!
-photos that appear way old
-profiles that read like they are describing someone they want to be, not who they are
-anything that sets off that feeling of desperation or dejection
-small signs of being married, cheater etc. I have my things I look for, but this is tricky and is probably more intuition - so who knows if I am on target.
I don't worry too much if they aren't the smoothest writers, the man I dated for 4 months is highly intelligent and successful but due to his dyslexia, his profile was not the wittiest, cleverest or best written..
My experiences on the folllowing websites:
match - by far the worst - only tried it at the beginning of my dating experience. This is where I found the most players, liars (mostly about age) and otherwise sleasy dudes who LOOK like they are normal and respectible. Match has way more women then men so they get away with it there???
OkCUpid - I think in many ways this is the best site, but it lacks a "Hide your profile" option for free members. I also have a problem of getting wrapped up in the questions and forget to really focus on the guy...lol.
What I like the most is that the way the (optional) profile is guided really divides things into catagories. Example, under "what are the things you are really good at" - I list a few typical things then just for grins I thew in "can back up a trailer". I have received at least 10 messages from guys who say "you had me at backing a trailer and then when you mention you like going on the wine tours - you sound perfect"... that kind of deal. It is a quirky, silly thing to mention, but it gets alot of attention. Under "who should contact me" I mention about someone seeking a real relationship, but more importantly that it is someone who is less focused on the goal and more interested in the journey. I said this because I had personal experience of someone who was adament he wanted a permanent relationship/marriage potential but I sensed he was't ready and he indeed had a bit of a meltdown when things started becoming more serious. So, just like people who claim to insist on "low dram women" are almost always "high drama men" and I avoid them! I am just suspicious of anyone who is so dogmatically set on something like that, often points to their own insecurities or emotional discomfort on a subject.
POF - well, I have actually had the most success on POF but there is a basic trick that I must use and I suspect most women should use. Hide your profile. That means you don't get all the scammer, creepy, completely inappropriate type contacts. Those contacts make me jaded and I don't want that negative energy in my dating mentality. The way it works is the only men who can see your profile are the ones you contact first.
I have some thoughts about the email messages too... but this post is already long enough!

Back in 2014, I just stopped eating. I had no appetite. I thought there was something wrong with my sleeve, turned out I was just lonely. I am an extrovert with a capital E. I also like solitude but I feel so lonely when I don't verbally and/or physically touch others. My puppies help but I gravitate to other people and make an effort to get daily fixes of energizing people contact. My sons live with me but I am preparing for their eventual moving out to make sure I have a plan. I live in the country and work from home... It can get lonely out here.

I like the idea, but now that most people use this site from their mobile apps - it doesn't work that well. Example, i post something in the vets forum aimed at people who are a long ways out from surgery. We banter - you know the stuff that people talk about. Then, because it shows up under "new posts" someone clicks on it, doesnt even realize they are in the vets forum (or rants, or singles etc) and takes offense. This happened to me - quite awhile ago I made a post in the singles forum that offended someone deeply; among other things, she felt that my comments were not in any way helping WLS support. I wasn't posting about WLS, but of course that person didn't realize it was a specialized forum.
I am actually kind of done with it all.

In the early stages, the preop diet was the hardest.
Now, I would say that maintenance after about 3 years post op got really hard! I am 4.5 years post op and can eat alot more and really have to work it continually.

In the early stages, the preop diet was the hardest.
Now, I would say that maintenance after about 3 years post op got really hard! I am 4.5 years post op and can eat alot more and really have to work it continually.

I like the idea, but now that most people use this site from their mobile apps - it doesn't work that well. Example, i post something in the vets forum aimed at people who are a long ways out from surgery. We banter - you know the stuff that people talk about. Then, because it shows up under "new posts" someone clicks on it, doesnt even realize they are in the vets forum (or rants, or singles etc) and takes offense. This happened to me - quite awhile ago I made a post in the singles forum that offended someone deeply; among other things, she felt that my comments were not in any way helping WLS support. I wasn't posting about WLS, but of course that person didn't realize it was a specialized forum.
I am actually kind of done with it all.

I like the idea, but now that most people use this site from their mobile apps - it doesn't work that well. Example, i post something in the vets forum aimed at people who are a long ways out from surgery. We banter - you know the stuff that people talk about. Then, because it shows up under "new posts" someone clicks on it, doesnt even realize they are in the vets forum (or rants, or singles etc) and takes offense. This happened to me - quite awhile ago I made a post in the singles forum that offended someone deeply; among other things, she felt that my comments were not in any way helping WLS support. I wasn't posting about WLS, but of course that person didn't realize it was a specialized forum.
I am actually kind of done with it all.

I like the idea, but now that most people use this site from their mobile apps - it doesn't work that well. Example, i post something in the vets forum aimed at people who are a long ways out from surgery. We banter - you know the stuff that people talk about. Then, because it shows up under "new posts" someone clicks on it, doesnt even realize they are in the vets forum (or rants, or singles etc) and takes offense. This happened to me - quite awhile ago I made a post in the singles forum that offended someone deeply; among other things, she felt that my comments were not in any way helping WLS support. I wasn't posting about WLS, but of course that person didn't realize it was a specialized forum.
I am actually kind of done with it all.

I like the idea, but now that most people use this site from their mobile apps - it doesn't work that well. Example, i post something in the vets forum aimed at people who are a long ways out from surgery. We banter - you know the stuff that people talk about. Then, because it shows up under "new posts" someone clicks on it, doesnt even realize they are in the vets forum (or rants, or singles etc) and takes offense. This happened to me - quite awhile ago I made a post in the singles forum that offended someone deeply; among other things, she felt that my comments were not in any way helping WLS support. I wasn't posting about WLS, but of course that person didn't realize it was a specialized forum.
I am actually kind of done with it all.

I like the idea, but now that most people use this site from their mobile apps - it doesn't work that well. Example, i post something in the vets forum aimed at people who are a long ways out from surgery. We banter - you know the stuff that people talk about. Then, because it shows up under "new posts" someone clicks on it, doesnt even realize they are in the vets forum (or rants, or singles etc) and takes offense. This happened to me - quite awhile ago I made a post in the singles forum that offended someone deeply; among other things, she felt that my comments were not in any way helping WLS support. I wasn't posting about WLS, but of course that person didn't realize it was a specialized forum.
I am actually kind of done with it all.

I am 10# over goal, and 25# over my lowest weight. I am annoyed with it, but I am lucky to have people in my life who remind me how awesome and beautiful I am even with a little muffin top. I think this battle is won or lost in our own minds and heart and the first is accepting and caring for ourselves. I spent much of my life beating myself up, and i am not doing that!
I used to work out alot, but developed serious physical problems too, I don't have a good answer, but what I know is the "winners" are the ones who don't give up. You are in that catagory... just the fact that you acknowledge it and ask for help tells me that you will not regain all your lost weight. You can do this... but it will be slow. My advice is to not think in terms of "I need to lose XX by a specific date". Instead, focus on slowly improving your health... finding exercise that works for you, making alot of small better choices.
Hang in there - we can do this!!!!