CowgirlJane

Go back to basics... I find myself doing that over and over and over... I have been maintaining so far, but I try to stay within a bounce range. Sometimes i bounce up a bit more than i want...and then back to basics. I have learned this from "naturally slim" women. they do this constantly... I have a history of "all or nothing thinking" rather than doing small adjustments as we go. I remember regaining 5# and thinking it felt like 100... A sad realization is that I basically need to do the same things to maintain as I did to lose weight...

I would argue the main benefit of wls is setting you up for maintainance. I am nearly 3 years from my surgery and in retrospect it didn't really matter how quickly I got to goal. What matters is that i am still under my goal.

I just wish I had "shopping friends"..haha...what a good time!

Called...and off the bat started up with religion talk. Maybe not my type after all but the larger victory here is me meeting someone nice and actually knowing how to engage in the initial flirting process. .. perhaps now I will miss fewer opportunities and actually get some dates in a more normal "old fashioned" way since I detest online dating stuff.

Congratulations. ..that is just wonderful! Good luck on your upcoming surgery too!!!

ah, it is so normal to be so emotional.. I feel for ya. I am 3 years post op and went from 308 to about 140-145... it is so worth it! Funny story, I had plastic surgery in Mexico. I went for lots of plastics at once which of course is higher risk. I had lots of faith in my surgeon, but on the airplane ride to Monterey I wrote all these good bye letters. I gave my companion firm instructions on how they should be distributed in the event of my death. Well, I survived. My friend admitted that during my surgery she accidently dumped coffee over the lot of them and they were unreadable. She took it as a sign they wouldn't be needed.

Luckily I didn't vomit, but I had some horrible "dumping" experiences early on. you dunno wanna know what that is like. My sleeve was Dec 11, 2011. Think Christmas. The whole family is eating a delicious meal I prepared and I am still on "full liquids" meaning Protein drinks. i decide to treat myself to adding a big ole scoop of Peanut Butter to my Protein Drink...omg.... I spent the day in the bathroom with diarrea and cramps and the shakes and everything. It was awful.. The best advice I ever heard was to treat your new sleeve like a newborn baby... be gentle...error on the side of caution...

okay... this is a vent!!!! I love that both my grown sons are back home with me... such joy it brings! I come from "big family" and living alone just seems so abnormal. My whole life I have been buried in people and had to seek solitude...more recently, I have had to work to seek companionship and it has been hard for me to live alone. I love that they are here. My EX shows up alot because he is very close to his step sons. That is mixed for me because I care for him so deeply but we are NOT good for each other so I often leave when he comes because I want him to have good "man times" with my boys. He often shows them how to do man stuff like replace a light switch..okay, I am being a wimp, but we always had a real division of labor in my world and I miss not having a partner around who can do the little stuff that puzzles me. I really really value that since their dad is a complete loser and I so appreciate that their step-dad is a real man and steps up to the job of teaching and leading them in their lives. I am blessed that he still shows up even though we haven't been an "item" for a very long time. But I digress... what I resent is that I can't eat like a man. this is so hard. Suddenly, there is bread, there is delicsious rice blends, there is deep fried, there is pizza, there is beer. There are CARBS!!!! They don't make the male members of my family fat, but they fatten me up like a steer at the stockyard. I am pissed, annoyed and just plain irrate. However, I sure as heck like weighing in the 140s more than in the 250-300+++ range.... so, I remind myself of that and persevere even though i feel like I have been eating like a farmhand lately! GRRRRR Vent over.

I started at 308 and had lost 50# before anyone noticed....it was a little, I don't know... lonely there for awhile!

Well, I think you know what I think of online dating - it sucks and I think there is a reason that people are on those sites month after month. My profile is hidden and I am not meeting anyone these days. I am going to meetup stuff, where the pickins are slim, but at least they are real men not afraid to engage in social events etc. At least its FUN. I find that the light in the eye and energy in the step is way more important to me than what I can glean from a profile. i have the exact same experience with the "coffee dates" - I am just bored...no interest. That is part of the reason I was so pissed off at the whole Theo thing, he had huge flaws but at least I could stand his company .. even enjoy his company for all day events, even if we weren't going down a romantic path. there is some merit to being with people who you actually enjoy the time you spend. I am doing much better with meeting guys, like I am finally getting better at picking up social clues. Whether it be meetup events, the parking lot (I wrote about that in the ladies room - although he hasn't called me yet, that was a HOOT! I feel so much more confident now that i have found my "line" which is "I'd like to talk to you again" and it is up to them to ask for a number or say, maybe I'll see you in the parking lot again..haha... easy out for him and low on rejection for me) and last weekend at a concert even. I just feel more connection to people that I meet in what feels like authentic ways. I think it is just the way I am wired. Anyway, it has been a wild process and I am feeling like i am gaining insights about myself in the meantime. Steven is still around but freaking out about something. I stay away from him when he is in anxiety provoking mode now, one of my lessons learned... he is good with that as he knows it stresses me out...and it stresses him out to deal with someone when he is like that too so all good. I sure wish he was the whole package though because I am drawn to him like a moth to a bug zapper!

My favorite premade is Premier Protein - best price is costco. I don't care much for most of the powders, but Syntrax nectar is a good quality one with a bunch of weird flavors. You can order a flavor sample pack which is kinda fun. both are very low carb. Your body can't absorb a bunch of protein at once, so don't get sucked into having those super high protein shots and thinking you are good. I think the best Protein drinks are low carb (I try to stay under 5g a serving) and around 20-30G of protein in a serving.

I am going to challenge you.. not to in any way invalidate your feelings or experiences, but rather to give you "food for thought".. so please take it in the way intended. Can you really eat as much as you used to? Are you really as hungry as you used to be? Do you think that you can continue to lose weight (and more importantly maintain your losses!)? Could you have accomplished any of this without the sleeve? I have lost over 160#. I started at 308... and my dream, my measure of success was to get under 200# and actually maintain it. At 5'5"; still obese. I got to about 190 and sure enough... my weight loss slowed to a crawl. At about 8-9 months post op, I was losing around 2# a MONTH! I met with my nutritionalist and she pointed out the single worst thing I was doing food wise that created my problem.. i was eating Protein bars like candy. crap. One more thing got banned from the house. Essentially, Protein Bars had become my new junk food and they are really high carb! I also faced my own inner feelings. I had lost about 120-125# and people gave me so many compliments, I felt so good, I could physically do things so much easier... but I still had a nice comfy protective layer of fat. I frankly looked matronly, in spite of my friends saying how good I looked, i looked like a typical overweight middle age woman. hmmm. Did I really really want to lose more? Was this good enough? Was I fearful of trying to get all the way to a normal /slim weight? I had to face my own inner decision - much like the original decision to get WLS. What do i want to make of this? How can I leverage this tool to the fullest? I got hardcore again. I went back to basics and pushed pushed pushed, Water, Vitamins, ate low carb again, worked out... etc. Frankly, that first about 14 months post op (except for the little detour I just talked about) I didn't do alot of fun stuff like vacations, dinner parties and cocktail hours. I focused on losing weight. Guess what, when I refoced, reduced carbs, my hunger decreased and my weight loss accelerated back to the 9-12# a month until I got to my ultimate goal in Feb 2013. I am now maintaining under my goal weight and it is still work. (it is easier than staying under 300# was for me preop, but it is still work). It is my lot in life. Guess what, it is the struggle most women over 40 engage in to stay trim. It sucks. My best friend packed on about 35# over the last year or two and she is hungry all the time.. just to lose a pound a week she has to really work it. Anyway, in truth, i would have been okay if I had maintained at 190.. beats the crap out of 300+ and gaining.. but I am very glad that I took the plunge and continued on as I love my body and health at a normal BMI, but the reality of the WLS situation is that it is not a guaranteed easy ride to skinny-ville.

My tastes changed big time. I went for months where food didn't taste good at all, it was a chore to eat. TAKE ADVANTAGE! That is the golden opportunity to start changing your relationship with food. Now, nearly 3 years out, my tastes are pretty much back to normal although I dont have nearly the sweet tooth and plan Water still tastes a little funky (which it never did preop).

Well, I think that we all have a right to dress and look and behave the way we want. however, those choices have consequences. In every photo I have seen of Kim she looks great and to my eye, very artsy. Love her sense of style, but if she was trying to get a job as an actuary, maybe a little adjustment would be helpful ... right? I am sharing that someone gave me very specific feedback about me (not anyone else) and I am curious enough to give it a try. I believe I am not very good at flirting and I can see how all the pieces sort of fit together to make me less approachable (in some cases anyway) than I really intend to project. I am unwilling to try to hide/change/alter my personality and the basics of who I am, cut or straighten my hair, but it wouldn't kill me to give a slightly different styling and tops a "go" and see what happens. I think I have even changed my idea for my halloween costume for the big party as a result of this chat. I was gonna be a warrior queen type thing (Boudica) but that is just more exaggerated form of the same hard look. I might do something really girlie girl! Ha! I remember when I was about 25 a young woman I worked with told me that she loved listening to me and how "you talk like a book, but i don't really understand you". That was enlightening... and I adapted my verbal communication when dealing with the clerks on that team after that....

Kymmy.. I can't see your stats on my phone but plastics after massive weight loss is not the same as a typical mommy makeover. Be sure to look at before and afters of people of similar situation as you. I had lost 150 or so when I did plastics. I do believe strongly in my original advice... stay focused on getting healthy and losing the weight first. That's quite a wild ride in and of itself.

I don't want straight hair I love my hair. I apparently am a terrible communicator because I in no way meant I want to change my hair it is one of my best features.. I simply recognize it contributes to a certain look. I in no way blame the victim and it completely pissed me off when some ass grabbed me by the hair and bent me over. That was uncalled for and was just stupid. So Florinda you have a belief system that men "just treat you like this". So why you? My only point is we make decisions about the image we project... and we should all go for it..just be aware of how it is seen and digested by others. It is behavior, conversation, appearance, everything.

Well. . I am am a believer. I finally FEEL NORMAL. My body isn't perfect but at age 50 I finally feel like a desirable woman. This is hard to articulate. ..but I swear I will never regain massive weight. Part of that is due to massive plastics. I have lost 160# ... and had extensive plastics with Dr Sauceda a year ago.

Ok I didn't tell anyone until AFTER. I did it by email. I basically told them I would love their support but didn't need any negative remarks. So....my skinny peeps were immediately supportive! My fat peeps have either remained silent (as per my request) or came around to saying they are so happy for me after I had success without dying (ya know all the fears). Holy moly.. I lost over 160# and now weigh I the 140-145 ballpark. Some of my fat peeps never said a word and maybe don't share my joy.. but most that care about me remain thrilled with my success!

We have all been there. At some point you just need to decide that junk food is like that bad boy friend that seems to feel good but in truth hurts you. F* that bad boyfriend, you are worth waaaayyy better!!!

I have lost 160# post sleeve .. I like premier Protein from costco. Low carb, high protein. I also like nectar Syntrax powder but it does not satiate. .. I used to buy Quest Protein Bars. ..but my NUT helped me realize they were an issue for me...they fed my carb addiction.

Woo hoo!!!

I was sleeved in Dec 2011.. at the time I just dreamed of saving my life. I hoped I could maintain under 200#. Getting to 140 was surreal. What has made a huge difference is my physical ability. I can hike, play, dance or whatever. ..I feel so damn normal. That was my deep down dream ..just be normal! !!

ya know Alex, i agree with some of your points, but not all. i am not an expert in anything but me... I am maintaining a 160# weight loss post sleeve. Protein bars are EVIL! haha.. they became my new snickers bar and had to be banned. They are very high carb and I found myself wanting them even though they don't actually taste that great! Low carb Protein drinks on the other hand are a real help to me, and i will be celebrating my 3 year surgivesary ( revision from band to sleeve) in December. They: -replace a meal -replace the nighttime snacking/hunger (a lifelong problem for me!) -they go down easy I have tried lots of them, and keep going back to Premier Protein - chocolate and strawberry flavors. it is thick enough to be filling and tastes good to me. I average one a day.. skip a few days and then occasionally have "fast" days which rely heavily on my protein drinks. This truly is a journey where we each need to find what works for us. and lets be honest, those of us lucky enough to be born female eat ALOT less then men to maintain a healthy weight.

Hey WL, about a year ago my laptop got a nasty virus and since it is "aged" I decided it wasn't worth taking to the pros. I fought that sucker off and killed it using malwarebytes, a free software. I had to run it over and over again, but finally killed it!

Florinda, I had about a 90 minute phone call with a lady that I consider an "aquaintance" through the meetup group I go out with. I essentially opened up my soul to her... like, i get ALOT of positive feedback about my looks but don't get the RIGHT attention... and why? So, I immediately assume that i have a bad personality. she told me that no... people LOVE me at social events. They ask about me when I don't show up. I am social, sweet, friendly and even other women like me. What she shared was that I have a certain "look". For me, it is my hair... I have rock and roll hair. It gets pulled, my ass gets grabbed... my boobs get oogled... but then i don't really get asked out as much as you might think because I don't appreciate or tolerate being treated that way. She compared it to the lady in the meetup who is heavily tatooed... men make completely incorrect assumptions about her as well. Her suggestion was to soften my look. Less body conscious clothes, more flowy feminine clothing. My hair is something that men are really into, but, what my aquaintance shared is that I often have a very "hard" look. About a year ago I went to Nashville on a biz trip with a chinese lady. We spent some time talking about appearances and she shared with me that my Asian standards, I am "exotic" looking... and it is true that I get an odd amount of attention from Asian men... again, I think it is the hair. Anyway, I intend to conduct an experiment and am going to wear a dress with a very high neckline and wear my hear up at the next meetup! I shared in the ladies room a recent story about a pretty interesting guy... expressing interest in me.... and by my standards, I looked like hell at the time. I think that it is really important to think about the "look" you are projecting.