CowgirlJane

So, those of you (and all my friends by the way) who told me I should have just dropped him - not even pursued the becoming friends thing were spot on. We have been hiking (and maybe followed by going out for dinner or wine) weekly; clearly platonic, clearly just friends - but comfortable. i haven't had time to meet new people from the dating site, but had told him I was, I have been going out dancing with the social group I am a member of, and specifically UNinvited this guy to social events that might be perceived as a date....like, we are not an "item" - crystal clear. Saturday, he felt the need to give me the whole "You are the most intelligent, articulate, fun person I know. I have such a good time with you, and love that we can discuss the universe and I always get new ideas and thoughts from you - but I am just not into you." i point blank asked him why he felt the need to repeatedly reject someone. Screw him, I am done with it - get over yourself dude. I don't think he is open emotionally enough to allow a friend in his life, much less a romantic interest. He claims it is to protect my feelings (like apparently all women fall in love with him and he doesnt' want to hurt them). I call bogus, I think it is simply self defense and he actually cares little about other people's feelings. It is astounding.

5:2 check in - I weigh 146.5 this week; my goal is to get back to 140 (where I was declared a skinny chick - ha); my stretch goal is a new bounce range of 135-140. My weight this morning is a miracle considering the excesses of last week (work related workshop, with every evening out at dinner at fattening type places and wine, no exercise, snacks all day - I tried hard to control myself, but it was not pretty). I wonder if I will actually bounce up, you know how the scale can sometimes be a delayed reaction. anyway, my goal is to get back to 140. My stretch goal, if my body cooperates, I want to maintain in the 135-140 bounce range. I don't like to timebox weight loss goals (that is my old way of all or nothing thinking), but I visualize I can get to 140 by Halloween. I don't track so I don't count calories, but I have a pretty good internal counter and focus on carbs. If I eat the way I have planned, I will land in the 500-600 calorie ballpark and total carbs around 20 on fast days. Basically, protein and veggies - no wine, no bread, no potato, no milk in lattes etc. I don't have a problem with desserts and stuff too much, it is the "alledgedly healthy" carbs that sneak back into my life. If I feel weak, I need to up carbs so I do that whole listen to my body deal which still astounds me it works since it lied to me so much in the past. I need to do all this without slipping into a mood issue. One reason I stopped 5:2 is I started to suspect that it was contributing to mood instability, so this will be an interesting experiment.

Sarah, if I ever gave the impression I like meeting new guys to date...I am a poor communicator. I hate it. I just want to see one man... and see where it takes me. Some one to go out with, travel with, share some aspects of life together. I am astounded to say this but so far...my peter pan, Steven is the most emotionally available man i have encountered. Remember I intentionally sought him out as a temporary playmate - I didn't want to get into anything serious so viewed it as just a temporary thing we met April 2013 and we split about Easter this year although we do still talk sometimes. Since then I have met guys so into their own baggage they aren 't even open to an easy going, see me once a week kinda thing...and I suspect alot of it is low sex drive. Theo and I evolved into just hiking buddies and I come to find i am on a long list of women that he just doesn't feel that "chemistry" with. Here is what I think, alot of guys that age want to feel 18 again and they they think there is a perfect woman who will set tbem on fire...guess what... we don't carry testosterone in our handbags so it ain't gonna happen...grow up. Theo is just an example...but he tells me we have so much fun together, he looks forward to seeing me, I am funny, fun, easy to be with and what he likes the most is we have terrific meaningful conversations...like he doesn't have with any of his friends....but, there is no chemistry. I took it personally until I had a conversation with a tall blonde beauty about 5 years younger than me and she ran into very similar thing. She said she was about ready to give up and go Cougar until she finally.... after 2 years of trying...met her current guy. Saturdayy night, i was out dancing and a 29 year old was hitting on me...for a split second I considered it myself. Actually, I get hit on/ flirted with alot but they are generally not appealing to me and I think I need to examine my internal selection criteria. Or just give up. Or give up and see Steven when I want some affection. Sorry I am venting and annoyed right now, but I am doing fine on other aspects of life. I know why someone wrote a book called "My third husband will be a dog" I was talking to my oldest son yesterday about life. He has had some big upheavals lately. anyway, I had a great, fun summer, but flip side is it was absolutely terrible dealing with Bettys illness and death. It has been a rollercoaster for all of us... and remnants of the sad remain at times, but grief is normal and it is part of life.

Ok....ding ding ding. Do you think this was a hint? Part of the program was explaining to us the goals of my the habitat restoration and how we could volunteer again. They mention how there are future events scheduled or if a group wants to schedule something they can. That was part of the big group session. After we were done and he was talking to me individually about my cute lil mini Cooper car he mentioned that volunteer groups can be any size and in fact one dedicated young lady came out a few times and worked by herself with him. He told me to contact the scheduler by email if I was interested (so I do know how to reach her). At the time I was very task focused ... thinking about who I could recruit to do this with me that I missed the possibility that he might have been hinting an appropriate way for me to contact him again. What do you think?

I love travel! Ever place has something unique, cool and interesting even if it is just a small town, friendly people etc. My challenge is finding people to do it with. My bestie can't afford travel and so many others simply lack that right attitude!

Good luck on the job Kelly!!! I am thinking of all of you and particularly worried about Swizz....hope you are ok. and a, haven't heard from you in ages..how goes it? I am exhausted. Had an incredible week at work. Combination of way too long hours with exhilaration of finally being part of a meaningful project again...like I used to be. Anyway, I feel a shift inside that is good... a restoring of a passion toward my career that I used to have. I want to retire at 55, 5 more years. I am energized by the idea of going out in a blaze of glory. Flip side is I don't feel well...I am not sure what all the problem is but under the weather. Going to bed early tonight. I am supposed to go hiking with Theo tomorrow so hope a good nights sleep will cure what ails me.

Well, other than showing up at His work I don't know how to find him....that is a bit stalkerish for me!

Over the years I met with many different NUTS and the only good one was the one who I was blessed to have on my sleeve journey. They are not all awesome. Nobody thinks you are incompetent, I agree she probably feels concerned about your emotional state. Its a very emotional time, I remember it well. Don't lose faith in yourself, you can do this.

I had my band removed in a separate surgery...the port spot was very sore and weird for weeks...

I had the gas pain and felt like I had done 1000 signups due to hernia repair. No pain from the partial stomach removal.

Curious why you all chose those type of fillers. Local PS told me fat injections is lowest risk and most natural results.

Yeah we have been doing some hiking together...stuff like that. I don't see it going anywhere and I guess the only downside is it takes up time from dating and looking for an actual boyfriend. I should probably try to arrange a few more first meetings and try again, but I don't relish it... so I seem to be comfortable with my "wanting a relationship" but never quite finding someone...complacent anyway.

Ankle weight won't prevent excess skin.

Sorry Sarah, I forgot..dgl licorice is what I took last spring when eating made me nauseous...now I can eat anything again! Kelly, when you struggle is exactly the time you should be posting. I went through this with the band....feeling kind of failed so undeserving of support...don't go down that path! So good to hear from so many of you. Hell week...I didn't get home from work till 10pm...dying.

My sleeve surgery was December 2011, I went from 308 to my goal of 158 in 14 months. I have been maintaining and currently weigh about 140-145. Even after all this time, fear of failing again remains my #1 concern. The thing is that weight management is not like a single shot to the moon...goal is a somewhat arbitrary milestone...there is no end to this thin g. The way you maintain is more or less the same way you lose weight. The point I am trying to make is that everyday you just make the best choices you can for the stage you are at, you are not going to be perfect. The people who are most successful are persistent,learn from the mistakes and just keep on doing it. What other choice do we have? Oh yeah, I could weigh over 300#, be aged before my time, risk early death with a side trip through disability.... You are wise to explore this topic now because it is easy to get sucked into old"all or nothing" thinking about healthy eating. On a diet or off a diet...No...it isn't like that. Every day, the food choices you make is your "diet" and it is either one that supports or contradicts good health. Believe it's possible to improve your health, manage your obesity and live a healthier life but your fears are valid and I think missmac hit it on the head to view it as a fight for your life....(hopefully without becoming a nutcase over it..Haha)

I went to Dr Sauceda and had great results. He will do skin removal on people who have bmi that puts them overweight still (not everyone gets down to the bmi of 25 or less!) And some surgeons won't. Google his name and his patient forum on OH should come up.

I So far take nothing for acid. First few months post op took proselec to prevent issues. . But knock on wood. .haven't needed since.

Well it is hard to say but I switched doctor too and really my sleeve surgeon used to do a lot of bands and now does more revisions than bands.

Well... I was banded at 272... never got under 200#. By the time I was considering revision 10 years later I was over 300. .. so no argument. In fact my sleeve surgeon had done LOTS of bands but in recent years rarely does them.

You had the gastric sleeve. .ie..partial stomach removal AND the lapband remained in? I have not heard of that. It's hard to explain exactly, but I had the lapband for 10 years with very poor results. Sounds crazy but in my mind it wasn't "real" bariatric surgery. Ha. I found such relief when it was gone. Among other things. .no more port! Now my perspective has changed. I feel like my smaller stomach is "normal" and i never felt normal with the band.

Brutal day... worked like 11 hours and then a team dinner at a fattening Italian restaurant. I have discovered that 5# makes my size 4 pants snug and wishing I had 6s. I usually work from home so mingling with the bigwigs mean I need to dig out professional clothes. don't really care..As long as I stay single digit but hate that snug feeling.

I tried pro and didn't like it so went back to the original black colored one. It seems to have updated and lost functionality! My #1 complaint is that you can't view profile or signatures and that has so much info for newbies!!! I know why phone apps limit display but.. disappointing and I am tired of posting basic information that people used to just be able to see on profile and signature.

If you look at my profile you will see I am opposite. Skinny butt and broad shoulders. I wear size 4 pants, but at least an 8 on top. Genetics. And as far as weight lifting, it's really really hard for a woman to bulk up.. we lack the T ... haha...so lift away .. it is good for you, makes for sexy toned muscles and trust me, you won't accidentally look like a body builder.

Sarah I had reflux after plastics from the compression garments. I did alot of protein drinks instead of food till swelling went down a d garments stretched. Knock on wood... I am fine now but this is a scary long term issue for some sleevers.

I am slimmer now than I was at time of plastics so have more thigh skin ... but he recommended the small lift and I think for me it was a good trade off since my scars are completely unnoticeable. Sometimes I wish my thighs were tight like my arms though