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Tired Of Going To The Plus Size Department!

· Fit in my 60's · 11/21/2011 19:53

I went to Macy's the other day and walked around the clothes department. As I walked through the dress department, I secretly picked out clothes that I want to be able to wear one day. And then I made my way to the plus size department, or "Women's" as they call it. What? The small women aren't women or what? Anyway, I am so tired of having to shop there. For the last year or more I've had to buy 2X and size 18. I can remember when I only occasionally bought an XL just because I wanted my sweater or shirt to fit loose. Ha! Nothing is fitting loose anymore and I'm wearing 2X. Knowing I am having the surgery soon saved on my wallet though; there wasn't any sense in buying things that hopefully will be too big on me in a few months. I've got enough stuff in my closet to get me through the holidays and then I can start shopping smaller for the spring!! At least, that's my plan. I'm also looking forward to next summer when hopefully I have lost enough weight to really show! We bought a pontoon boat last year and while I loved inviting people to go boating with us, I was so embarrassed to wear my bathing suit where it all just hangs out! There's no hiding with tunic tops or capri pants when you want to sunbathe and swim. Anyway, I am just looking forward to feeling good about myself again. I haven't been there in a long time! I'm probably about 2 months away from having my surgery, but it couldn't be soon enough. Although, it will be nice to be able to go through the holidays and not worry about the post-op diet stuff. Here's to a new year....and becoming fit at 60!

Debbie
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Am I Seriously Going To Do This?

· Fit in my 60's · 11/19/2011 00:33

I just turned in my information packet to the weight-loss clinic and I am week 4 of my 6-month doctor supervised diet. I've lost a whopping 4 1/2 lbs. That's pretty typical of me! I have tried so many methods and programs in the past I could write a book. I've spent thousands of dollars. The few times I lost weight, it always came back, with a vengance! And those times were done by pretty drastic measures. One was taking Phen-Fen back when it was legal. Yeah, I lost the weight! 70 lbs!! I looked the best I ever looked in my life. A size 8 for probably 2-3 weeks! Ha! But that doctor told me first of all to only eat when I was hungry. Well, those pills worked so well on me that I barely ate enough to get by! I kept a journal and the first 2 weeks I lost 20 lbs. But I told the doctor I was so weak and it was summer and I knew I would not be able to teach in that condition. When he looked in my journal, I was only getting about 300 calories a day! I was starving myself! Stupid, I know but I actually thought I was following the doctor's instructions. But then he said eat more, but don't go over 800! So that's what I did. For weeks and weeks, and the weight just fell off! Looking back I really think that's the point where I really messed up my metabolism because once that weight came back, and it did very easily even when I was eating what I thought was a moderate diet, I have struggled ever since. That was several years ago. And the weight just crept up and up. And my health just kept deteriorating. Bad knees, high cholesterol, hypertension, gastric reflux, plantar faciitis, blockage in my carotid artery, and added high risk to getting breast cancer when I was already in the high risk category just due to genes. I'm a mess....and I haven't even mentioned my self esteem. Don't get me started. It's in the pits.

So I arrived at this point as a last resort. My daughter, age 37 had it done back in March of last year and she's lost about 50 although she's not keeping up with it and I'm afraid she's going to gain it all back. But if I do decide to go through with this, I will keep up with it and follow the rules. My mom died when she was just 59 from heart disease. I had a harder time turning 59 last year than any year before. I think it was because I was scared all year that the same would happen to me. And now I am just a little more than a month away from turning 60. I will have outlived my mom. And if I am fortunate and healthy enough to make it past 62 I will also have outlived my dad who also died from heart disease. I have 5 grandkids and I want to do it for them. I have a wonderful husband of 41 years and I want to do it for him. But most of all I want to do it for myself. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.......and fat!!!!

So I have two more months to go. The next step is for the doctors to review my paperwork and then go for my assessments and medical tests and go from there. I am not 100% sure yet. I would estimate I am about 90% convinced. The other 10% is fear of surgeries. I have had a lot over the past ten years. Two knee replacements, gall bladder, and prophylactic bilaterial mastectomy and reconstruction due to the 87% the doctors calculated my risk for getting breast cancer due to family history. So you see I've had a lot. No real complications, but there's always that fear in the back of your mind. I think if I didn't have the weight problem I could have eliminated two of those surgeries. Plus I wouldn't worry about the 50-69% blockage in my right carotid artery. Told you I was a mess!!

So this blog is my introduction to my final journey to health. Just hoping this story has a positive ending!

Debbie 11/18/11
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