Chimera

I don't think it expires. We just have to recommit and perhaps even make sacrifices to get further. As I approached one year I was down 100 lbs but still over 210. I am 5-10 so that is not such a terrible weight. I was a size 14.my doctor considered me a success story already. But I wanted that Onederland. So I signed up for personal training at the gym. For 6 months! It was very expensive. I started spinning classes. Though I felt so nervous about that as everyone in there seemed so in shape. Now I do strength training 2x week and spin class 2-3. I also lost another 30+ pounds in the past 9 months. Now that took only 6 weeks right after surgery but it's not the time it takes it's the outcome. You just have to stick with it and be patient. I also avoid sugar carbs most of the time. They trigger cravings and get stored as fat.
I have to recommit myself a Every Single Day! And this just to maintain my loss. I don't really need to lose anymore at a 25.6 BMI. Recently I gained 8 pounds in 2 days after a party weekend. After the party I did jot feel guilty. I just got on program and 2 weeks later am down the 8 pounds. Does it suck that we gain fast and lose slow. Yes it does but we can lose. There is no deadline or time limit. It's not a race. Switch things up a bit. Avoid sugar and don't graze, monitor every bite. Use MFP honestly!
You can do this!

I am truly an "all or nothing" kind of gal. I have proven to myself once again that I CANNOT be trusted! LOL. I do well for a long time and can be really 100% but it's the maintenance that trips me up. Yes, I know exactly what to do for me but once I relax AT ALL I fall "off the wagon" completely.
You mentioned you felt your surgery had expired. Nope! It hasn't. Just a very few days will show you that you still have your best tool- your sleeve, and once you eat correctly, the restriction shows up again. Junk, carbs, etc are addictions. Simply put. They always will be. Can't change that and for me, it's all about the junk. Just one candy bar isn't enough. Once I start with the junk, I crave it and will graze all day long!
I'm over 4 years out now. I've reached goal, lost goal, regained and exceeded goal and continue to war! You can too. It is what it is - a lifetime challenge. Sure, they may be those who don't have any struggle but I don't think there are many. Just look at it realistically. You lost 80 pounds. You are still sleeved and have that tool. You may just have to really take yourself "in hand" (as I have to) and as Lynda said, toss the junk, weigh and track (FYE) and fight!!
We're with you in the battle!!!

I know what you mean about feeling like it expired. I find myself wishing I could get a tune up. I want that great feeling of steady loss, never being hungry, being impressed with myself by how little I want to eat and how little I do eat. But that's not reality, and as Jane said, it's all us at this stage. I do have enough restriction to stop me from going crazy if I feel myself getting out of control, but it's up to me to pay attention to it. I mostly do, and I'm always so thankful that I wasn't able to do much damage.
I also have been stuck at this weight for months. I'm thinking about revising my goal. I'm just going to see how it goes, but I'm in a size 10 - a size I've never been. I'm thrilled with being normal, and I struggle between wanting to get to 140 pounds, and just being happy with what I've achieved. I'm not sure the number on the scale is worth the fight, and we each have to decide that for ourselves. I also think sometimes our bodies tell us where we should be. As long as it's healthy, it should be OK, too.
@@Success2013 you can do this if you want. I suggest logging, weighing yourself, and generally going back to basics. You know what to do - just take it a day at a time, and do the best you can!

It's not easy but I think a main success factor is facing that the surgery gets you "launched" but doesn't do the work for you. In the beginning it does and over time it becomes pretty much 100 our choices that do the work.
The best way to regain feeling of restriction is to go back to all the sleeve basics including tiny portions. In a few days you are likely to feel restriction again.

Hi guys,
Just wanted to pop in and say hello! That is a great post on the other forum Sheryl - some great wisdom there - did I see that right she hasn't even had her surgery yet as well as having a very low starting weight/BMI. I am sure she must be very punishing to herself if she feels the need to ask about the 'high' bmi goals.
Hell back in the day I could probably lose the entire amount she needs to lose by doing Atkins induction for two weeks lol. We all have very different experiences - I love what you said about the shame those of us who have been super morbidly obese go through - people who have never lived in our society have little idea of what a burden it can be on a daily basis - one of the biggest changes for me since losing enough weight to be in more of a overweight/lvl 1 obese category is that I actually make eye contact with people in stores, or on the street now. It was often painful to do so before - the look we all know so well.
It feels good to be both visible, and yet relief at becoming more invisible in a way
Happy belated birthday Florinda, so many good friends have had birthdays this weekend. I am sorry about your dumb bf - he doesn't deserve you.
The fall has got to get better! All these health woes and man troubles - its mainly money troubles round these parts - have an interview this week for a new teaching gig that will hopefully turn out to be something great - I will keep you guys posted.

Hi guys,
Just wanted to pop in and say hello! That is a great post on the other forum Sheryl - some great wisdom there - did I see that right she hasn't even had her surgery yet as well as having a very low starting weight/BMI. I am sure she must be very punishing to herself if she feels the need to ask about the 'high' bmi goals.
Hell back in the day I could probably lose the entire amount she needs to lose by doing Atkins induction for two weeks lol. We all have very different experiences - I love what you said about the shame those of us who have been super morbidly obese go through - people who have never lived in our society have little idea of what a burden it can be on a daily basis - one of the biggest changes for me since losing enough weight to be in more of a overweight/lvl 1 obese category is that I actually make eye contact with people in stores, or on the street now. It was often painful to do so before - the look we all know so well.
It feels good to be both visible, and yet relief at becoming more invisible in a way
Happy belated birthday Florinda, so many good friends have had birthdays this weekend. I am sorry about your dumb bf - he doesn't deserve you.
The fall has got to get better! All these health woes and man troubles - its mainly money troubles round these parts - have an interview this week for a new teaching gig that will hopefully turn out to be something great - I will keep you guys posted.

Don't set goals by dates, set goals like once you hit a certain weight you get something new or just hitting a number in itself is a goal. My first goal is 199 and I'm at 201. I don't have a date on it, it's my goal because I will be under 200 at that point. Im currently 30lbs down from where I started and I while I still have awhile til I met my long term goal I have a ton more energy to enjoy life and do things with my kids. It's not about time goals it's all about weight goals and feeling good about yourself!

One year out and doing great! I had surgery July 2nd 2013 at Swedish Hospital Seattle WA and my high weight before surgery was 330 lbs, size 26-28, 4x. I am now 173lbs, wear a size 12 in most stuff, large shirt, and have even lost a shoe size. I would like to lose 20 more lbs but I'm fine where I am if I don't lose another pound as well. I have no more sleep apnea, more high blood pressure and I can walk/run/row...do anything I want now! I have noticed folks do treat you differently when you're thinner...more friendly, chatty and more smiles. It's strange going into store with normal size clothing and browsing, all the while thinking they are going to find me out any minute and tell me the big girls store is down the block. Sometimes I feel I've always been this new size and shocked when I see the old me in pictures, and sometimes I feel large still, look in the mirror and I'm shocked. It's been a great journey and I'm so glad I did it!

Hi guys,
I'm home from a fab holiday and we had a thoroughly great time. I really didn't want to come back to reality and leave paradise that was Portugal. I am pleased to say that I did myself proud whilst away... I wore my bikini and held my head high- completely perfectly imperfect if that makes sense. Although I was far from the smallest, I defo wasn't the biggest and that felt good.
I took the time away from the scales to do some really inward thinking...I have decided that I have to stop being so cruel to myself - putting myself down because I haven't made goal or got a normal BMI; that despite my hardest endeavours I can't lose the final weight, and that I've fallen at the last hurdle. Instead I have realised that I have come so far, not only physically but mentally as well. I am much stronger in body and mind and it is starting to feel good.
This doesn't mean I will give up on goal. I think you all know me well enough by now to know that I am not a quitter... but what I have realised is that if I never lose another pound it is 'ok'.
So I will continue to do my 5:2 - didn't manage a good fast whilst away but I did a few 16:8 instead - and I will continue with Curves. I must now focus on my time management when I go back to work and get back to the boxing gym. Steve has also said that we should go swimming more, as I loved it on holiday and did my daily laps!
I will post some pics when I've uploaded them.
It took me ages to read through all the posts; what some tough times we are having... I'm sending you all bug welsh cwtches and wishing I could do more. On the subject of new relationships I really don't feel that I can give any good words of wisdom. I have been very lucky to be married to a man who is not only my husband by name but my real soul mate and best friend. He still makes my heart flutter 21 years later on. All I can say is that I just knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with and I have been luckily enough to have that feeling returned.
What I will say is that this life is too short to have second best - and what works for one won't work with another.... there has to be respect on both sides of a relationship for it to be happy and have longevity.
Kim I was thinking about you when I was away...

Sheryl, I think both styles look great but the boot cuts look too big for you in that pic.

I laughed when I read this because my husband is a salesman. He sells investments and deals with financial issues. His sale tactics don't work on me anymore, we've been married much too long for that! Ha
You are looking for so much more. Steven can't give you what you need. To me, looking in from the outside, he's not healthy for you. You deserve more.

New baby pictures:

And while I'm at it...just celebrated 18 years of marriage to my hubby...on June 1st. Can't believe we've been married 18 years and together 22 years! That's over HALF of my life!!!!

Sheryl I would loooove to meet you - I was walking with my husband on Alki and we walked past Duke's just the other day and I thought to myself why are we not coming down here for happy hour I am very available for social events in the next weeks - except tomorrow night, Father's Day and next Saturday - lets go to Duke's! Next time I can come over to the Eastside
I think those swimsuit options are super cute! I like the first one - the scuba in blue. I don't think I have worn a two piece bathing suit since I was a kid - there is a lot of madness going on below the neck and above the ankles for me haha! You will have to send us snapshots once you decide - cant wait to see how fabulous you will look!
My hubby is terrible with the bad food and he knows better because he has his own sleeve! He is also 6 years younger (I robbed that cradle) and can run on the treadmill at a sprint for an hour the rat - I look at the number of calories he burns, sometimes over 1k and my measly 350 at an hour with my little legs pumping at a fast walk and occasional sprints and sigh. I am still building up to running, but with osteo-arthritis in my knees I am nervous to have a flare up - which is agony, and will literally knock me off my feet for weeks.
I'll be 50 in October - I am beginning to ask myself if it is a necessary part of my life that I have to actually run. Well if zombies arrived - heck yeah i will run, run, run - but I think I may be influenced by The Biggest Loser - they all seem to have to get on a treadmill and run until they think they are going to die lol.
I can walk really, really fast lol.
Our support group meeting topic this month is post surgical behaviors with a psychologist - looking forward to that one.
Even with fasting days I cant seem to get the scale to budge these days - I may have to drop the calories down a whole lot and up the hydration even more. The bariatric doc says I have definitely stabilized and am fine where I am - but I want that elusive goal weight darn it! I start to get hard on myself because I think if I had only last another 35-40 lbs prior to surgery then I would be at goal - as folks over 300 with a goal of 140 or lower who hit goal seem to be rarer, at least what I look at on the boards.
I guess it forces you to work out those issues with food eh - at least I have not gained the weight back - its a miracle

Ladies, its good to be back! I have been able to read posts but every time I wanted to post a reply I lost the connection. It was so frustrating. I know I have missed lots but here goes:
Happy belated Birthday Sheryl, hope it was a good one. I know you are a bit down at the moment and my thoughts are with you.
Wanda, Has your play been performed yet? if so how did it go.
Georgina, love the new pic.
Sarah Im a bit jealous of the PS. I need to make an appointment so they can guide me into how much more I need to lose.
Co-ops. Hope you had a good time in London.
Florinda hope you are having a wonderful time with your mum. The picture of you and the boyfriend was amazing.
Sheila I know you are busy looking for a new job and taking care of the family but we have not heard from you in a short while
FYE as always you speak words of wisdom with any message you post.
I know I have missed others..Sorry.
As for me the house is wonderful and we really enjoy living here. two bedrooms are decorated with the paint/paper purchased for the 3rd and that should happen next week. I have had 2 people in about the kitchen and they have both submitted their designs we think we have chosen one and they can start July 29. Bathrooms still to be decided. Paper/paint also purchased for the lounge.
Do any of you ladies have experience of a light pipe? Our main bathroom is an interior one and that means no window and hence no natural light. I have looked up these light pipes and they look good, they are like a periscope and a series of mirrors (in a tube) link the room with the outside. The pipe goes from the ceiling of the room through the attic to the roof. On paper they look good but I wondered if you have come across them, have one yourself or have a relative/friend have one. The room needs something as it feels very claustrophobic
Weight wise I am at a standstill and I cannot remember the last day I had a proper fast. I know it s all down to me and I need to get back on track. The carb monster has a hold of me and I need to shake him off.
Lovely to be back in touch again. Love to ALL

What a great response from Tino, Sheryl!   Isn't it amazing what a little sincere compassion and love from someone can do for you?  Hope this new relationship really works for you!
 
Yes, what does SMO stand for, Denise?

Ok ... New plan...let's all meet in London!! Haha
In all seriousness I am dreaming of another big trip soon. I have Iceland in mind but maybe will wait till winter and head south to mexico or Panama or something.

You know what else it did? It made me feel more interested and attached to him. I have had so much fun with him but I admit I was starting to feel a little..."yeah he's great but I don't FEEL it toward him" I am quick to like people superficially but any kind of depth takes forever. .. not something I like about myself. So last night we cooked dinner together and just had a great time. The time flies when we are together.
He also told me something important about himself which is that he has a hard time committing forever due to some history. I didn't say it but thought. ..thank goodness. .. that whole long term commitment has not worked out for me yet either.

Cgj glad sharing that with Tino was a good experience. This will all balance out soon

What a wonderful thing to say to you. That response came from the heart, just beautiful. This made me smile for you. You don't have to go through this alone. Sheryl.

Just want to share something amazing. I told Tino about what happened starting in March...weight loss, anxiety, depression, no appetite... and that starting Saturday feeling a little relapse. I told him about taking the meds. His reply? "I wish I could take what troubles you and carry it for you because I can handle it"
I can't begin to describe how good that made me feel. Of course no one can carry your woes for you... but what a loving response. It gave me a little boost to not feel quite so alone. I might have found a good one in spite of myself.

That is so cool that Kelly and Sheryl are within distance of being able to get together. I hope our group here has formed some life long bonds. We certainly have something in common that people living without a sleeve will never understand.
 
I've been trying to fast, and Bill shows up wtih these chocolates that his friend Deborah made as a get well present. She is SMO. vanilla wafers sandwiched with Peanut Butter in between, dipped in chocolate. I should just take the bag and dump it in the toilet.

Hey Chim - do you have time to get together this summer? I would love to meet for a walk or a coffee or something. I am out in woodinville and I think you are in West Seatttle. We can find something reasonably in between!
I also discovered, thanks to Tino, that Dukes on Alki has an awesome happy hour menu - yummy seafood with a view!

The thing I have to stay away from is candy. There is no restriction when it comes to candy. It's around all the time, at the bank, every check stand I come in contact with etc. It's a choice and decision not to eat it if it's offered or buy it no matter how good it looks. I still have a sweet tooth and no amount of restriction is going to hold me back if I decide to start eating m & ms.

At 19 months out, healthy habits weighs in probably 80%. It's really easy to eat around the sleeve. Yea, I still have great restriction at one sitting but if i ate a cheeseburger and fries over 4 hours instead of 30 minutes. ....it really doesn't make a difference.

For me, long term success is definitely weighted on the side of healthy habits. It has to be. From a macro perspective, I believe this is how WLS is designed to work. It gives an individual 6 months of help where healthy habits can be formed. After 6 months, not so much. It becomes easier to eat larger portions, even those that are focused on the so called dense Proteins. If you figure out the good habits over the first 6 months, then it will not matter when restriction lessens or, in worse case, goes away completely.