mdrai

Fil just called... mil has changed her mind & is not going to do chemotherapy... hospice came today for initial eval... so now it is just a matter of time. Dh doesn't know yet. I may go back up to be w Fil, so he can just focus on her & not the house/food/phone, etc. He ' ll let me know tomorrow. Sil left today... don't know why she couldn't stay ... makes me mad! I m so sad.

Good Sat Morn, Vi's~~ Wow Pam... what a whirlwind! You and S are BOTH lucky to have each other... you compliment each other's strengths so well and are so appreciative of each other... what a love story!! The move is almost over and you can get on w/the rest of your lives in your fabu love nest! When does Klausy make the move? Still just so excited for you both!! MIL is stable, we focus on "baby steps" in improvement... are hoping for an uneventful few days until Thurs, which will be her first chemo treatment. Fingers crossed. DH is in Atlanta for his co's annual meeting. DS just left for a soccer weekend in Va (another mom is kindly taking him & keeping him all weekend, they got free hotel rooms because of a tournament snafu), DD & I will go over to tomorrow's games (we'll have to leave here @ 6:30AM, yikes!). I'm about to leave to take DD to the barn all day, her fav day of the week! And me? I'll come home, clean the house, and then @ Noon my mom, sis, aunt & cousin are coming and we're all going to a Longaberber/Vera Bradley Bingo for the HS... am looking forward to some silly girl time... need it! Am trying to get back on the frickin' wagon... I did my best the past week, but... wasn't so good. Everyone have a great day & weekend!

I am home now. I am exhausted. Emotionally drained. My SIL arrived to take my place in NJ through the weekend. It is our hope that MIL will get stronger little by little each day, that FIL & MIL will get in to an effective daily routine, and that the visiting nurses will get into their routine of regular visits (tomorrow will be the first), so that they can get back into a more normal schedule and not feel like we're "babysitting" them. Today we went to the oncologist & MIL agreed to the proposed treatment plan... she'll get her port placed on Weds and have her first chemo treatment on Thurs... she'll have it 1x/week for 3 weeks, then 1 week off, then 1x/week for 3 more weeks, then re-test. She is so so so weak that I wonder how her body will manage it, but we'll see. That was the problem this morning... FIL & I came this close to call the ambulance for her as she couldn't wake up or eat or anything... it was very scary... much like yesterday afternoon when she started hallucinating. And like each day w/trying to make sure she's not dehydrated. Like I've said... not a good situation or prognosis and just so emotionally draining. I am going to pour myself a glass of wine that dh kindly got for me for my return... & go upstairs & get ready for bed. Thanks for the purple lovin'!!

Bad bad bad bad morning... please keep mil in your prayers.

Heather: Yes.

Hey girls... 1st chance I've had to check in. Only have a sec. Spent Mon @ the hospital... wow... so difficult to see her like that. Amazingly, they discharged her yesterday! So she's home now. Still oh so very very weak and is on so many meds... can't even explain it. The visiting nurse is coming today, & we go to the oncologist tomorrow. She can barely walk, so this will be interesting. We literally had to carry her into the house yesterday. I'll be here 'til lunchtime-ish tomorrow, then BIL's wife will arrive some time tomorrow to stay through Sat or Sun... I think it's important & necessary to have someone here 24/7 for awhile, 'til she gains some strength back & they get a routine going. FIL is very good w/her, but can be forgetful. This morning she rang her bell and he rushed out of the kitchen, leaving a pot of water on the burner that was turned on "High"... he didn't return for 45 mins. If I hadn't been there, what would've happened?? So the new mantra is: If he leaves the kitchen, even for a second, then he must turn off the burners. Will see how that works. Tomorrow we'll get the oncologist info... the results from the biopsy & the proposed treatment plan. She's no where near ready to begin those yet, still too too weak. It doesn't seem fair to get her stronger only to zap her w/chemo & radiation & make her feel like crap again. Ugh. Will post again once I'm home... altho I get home & dh leaves for his work annual conference for a week, so I'll be solo & busy... what a year! Love you all!!!

Arrived safely in NJ. MIL is still in the hospital, am here keeping FIL company. We'll go visit her tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow we'll get the results of the biopsy that she had done on Friday. Once they have that, then they can create her treatment plan & will decide if they'll discharge her for outpatient care or if they'll keep her in the hospital for it, at least for the first bit. She's still very weak, which will play a part in discharge decisions as well. I have to help FIL get organized & come up with a schedule & get some errands done, too. We're just taking it one day at a time. Thanks for all your good thoughts!

I awoke @ 5am and my mind started churning w/all I have to do/organize today, so I got up and got started! I've already made a double batch of chicken enchiladas, 3 chocolate breads, and packaged up all the soup. I've also sent e-mails & continued the master list. Everyone else is still snoozing (how they can snooze w/ the yummy choc bread scent wafting up the stairs I have no idea!)... when they wake up, we'll have a nice b'fast together (we haven't all eaten together in a week!): lox & bagels w/all the trimmings. Then it's cleaning time (they'll be so thrilled!)! Then I pack & hit the road. Who ever thought a 2.5-hr drive would be the "easy" part of my day? Will check in from NJ when I can... love you all... hope you feel better soon, Judy... can't wait to read all about the house, Pam... & best wishes to everyone w/all that's going on... we're definitely not slackers, that's for sure!! Love you!

You had me confused for a minute, too, Judy! lol. Yes, Janie... they live in southern NJ, just outside of Philly. We're 2.5 hrs southwest from them. We're about an hour west of Baltimore, and an hour north of Washington, DC. So it's not such a bad drive. I95 is the worst, but it is what it is. I have a crocker full of veggie beef soup bubbling away. Will make chicken enchiladas tomorrow morning (forgot to defrost the chicken, duh). + am making lists & carpool arrangements & doing laundry & cleaning the guest room & bath & transferring work files to my laptop... phew! It's tough for me to go away! Judy, I meant to tell you days ago when you mentioned the Keurig that we have one and LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Santa brought it 2 Xmases ago. Even the kids use it & love it! We got the pod carousel this Xmas, and it is fun to spin it around... I also get teased because I am very anal in how it is arranged. I usually get our pods at either Kohl's or at Bed, Bath & Beyond, w/their coupons. Ok, off to get more stuff done!

Thank you for all your good thoughts & purple lovin', girls. Right back at ya! Looks like I'll be going up to NJ tomorrow - Weds/Thurs... mostly to help out FIL... help him get some things done that he's let slip (car inspection, bills) and cook/freeze food, etc. And of course, see MIL and help w/whatever the week brings, as we know each day brings a different challenge. So am calling in my mom & sister (who works PT, luckily) as my backups to take care of my homefront, get the kids off to school & to activities... sometimes it really does take a village! PAMELA -- So so happy about your house news! &, correct me if I'm wrong, but for some reason, I had written down that TODAY is Susanne's b'day?? If so, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUSANNE!! Celebrate in the hot tub! :smile2: If not, heck, celebrate in there anyway!!! Love you all!!!

No, today is not a good day... DH called right as I was walking into the grocery store and so I pulled over my cart into the corner of the flower shop area and he told me all bad bad bad news... crying @ the grocery store... great. It's a bit complicated, so I don't want to go into all of it here & now... suffice to say that w/out treatment they're giving her about 2 MONTHS to live, w/very aggressive (read: agonizing) treatment, maybe a year or so. How is it that a mere 6 weeks ago I was lounging poolside w/her, reading our books & sipping our 'ritas -- & now she has months to live????????????? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU JUDY for answering the phone when I called for my emergency Violet Sister SOS to talk me down off the ledge of diving headfirst into everything chocolatey/sugary I could stuff into my cart!! It worked! I purchased a box of WW 100 cal mocha ice cream bars & ate one in the car on the way home while blasting "Defying Gravity" by the Glee cast -- don't know why, but that combo took the edge off. Although I keep bursting into tears at random moments... I'm having a hard time getting my head around the suddenness of this. It's one thing for me to say "life's short"... but this really brings it home!! It so totally absolutely positively SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, but I know you gals are here for me.

Yeah, but you're so close to goal, and I'm miles and miles and miles away, so it's easier... + this is the same weight I keep losing & gaining... down & up & down & UP... I have 34 to go to get to my lowest in the last 3 years, which was last May in Cali... but it's one day at a time, right? Right. Sigh.

Hi! M typing on my phone @ the barn. Have been on the go all day today. Met a friend for coffee @ panera @ 8am (we see each other once a month), then hurried home to take dh to the rest stop north of Baltimore to meet his bro who drove up from Richmond & they drove up to Philly to see their mom... it's about a 1.5hr drive one way. So 3 hrs doing that. Then picked up dd @ school & now we're here... then ds has soccer@ 8:30 tonight. Phew! I re-started mil's prayer shawl last night, because I didn't like the other yarn... I knit from 6 - 12:30 last night, then this morn & in the car on the way to the rest stop... I finished it w/ 7 miles to go!! I took a couple really quick pics of it in the parking lot... will post a pic from home later if any turn out. The shawl is lovely & I hope she likes it. M almost scaring myself w/ my resolve w/ eating... talk about controlling the only thing I can! M down 6 for march so far!! Enjoy the day!_

Judy, love your new avatar pic! Hope things are calm for you now.

Am baking heath bit/choc chip cookies for FIL right now... it's funny how, when I bake when I'm being "good" w/eating, that the batter makes SO many more cookies than when I'm not! Interesting... Already made him a batch of pumpkin muffins, too. & have a cinnamon bread in the freezer. I figure he can freeze it all and enjoy as he wishes. Something special, made w/love just for him.

Wow, Suzy! Purple power for you for sure!!

Oh my goodness, Suzy! Good luck! More hugs all around for the amazing Violets! We are strong and fierce and reliable and amazing EVERY DAY!!! ((VIOLETS!!)) Regular day on tap here today. DH & his brother are (finally) going up to NJ tomorrow, will stay 'til Sat at least, we think. I heard that the Chile earthquake actually knocked the earth off its axis! I wish it'd all get back "in whack" soon... this year is just hinky!

Amen, sister. We have to be strong and stay strong. Ironically, where I usually would fall face-first into the pantry, I am not. It occurred to me that eating properly and moving a bit each day are just about all I have control over right now -- so I'm controlling them!

Aye yai yai! Hugs all around.

Oh wow, Haydee, my head would've been spinning off as well. How rude! Did he apologize when you went back?

We're a big prayer circle these days -- there's power in numbers! Please keep my MIL in your prayers, as well. She's still in the hospital, still trying to get her "stablized" before any substantive therapies can begin. Now the doc is saying it's a 20% chance of a 1-year survival. Not good news. To go from fine in Nov/Dec to this in Feb/Mar is head-spinning! This reinforces my Make Today the Best It Can Be motto... that one & the Life Is Short, Live Now! one that I'm always babbling on about. But it's true! I'm so glad that we went to MX w/them in January. Time spent making memories is never wasted. Here are a couple pics of her from our January trip: MAKE TODAY A GREAT DAY!!

Hey girls... MARCH 1!!! Can Spring be far behind?? Hope not! So glad to see Feb & all its snow go this year! I didn't lose in Feb... I think I gained! Will have to crunch the numbers later. Bleh. So I'm playing mental games w/myself again this month re: weight, work, exercise, etc. If I do well, then I can go to WDW. I think we all just needed time to adjust to the idea of me going w/out them, but w/other family members. A lot will depend on MIL's status... she's back in the hospital w/a leg clot, and may begin radiation therapy today. I am very dissapointed w/DH that he didn't go up over the weekend to see her. Info is still not clear, and changes daily. He should've gone up. Judy, you're doing great! Those cadbury mini eggs are my all-time FAV! You resisted so much this past week -- amazing! It pisses me off so bad when I resist or am being "good" and then the scale doesn't reward me for it! That's the killer for me. It's downhill from there. So glad that you're a stronger woman than I. Pam, Just give Cali an "IOU"... isn't that how they pay some of their bills? :biggrin: Laura, I can't believe he's toddling already! Janie, I hope you can get that nose/allergy situation fixed! & isn't your band re-check this week? (if I am remembering correctly...?) Hi Haydee & Heather! Ok, off to go to the Y. That's one of my "musts" for March: I must work out in some form each day. Make it a good one!

Busy busy as always... I told my sis "no" to the trip... but of course they are taking it as a "no for now" and assured me that I can change my mind up 'til the last minute... we'll see... the kids now say they want me to go! I may make a deal w/myself that if I work X hours, go to the gym X times, and lose X lbs in March, then I can go! It would certainly be motivation! Speaking of work... time to get to it! Make it a great day, everyone! Judy -- AMAZING willpower! Simply AMAZING!! Pam -- Have fun @ the concert!

Aw geez, Pam... I was ready to celebrate today!

OMG, Laura, you have NO idea how much I needed to see that right at this second! I'm sitting here working, thinking to myself, "I'll go make a cup of coffee and have just a small piece of the warm cinnamon bread that just came out of the oven." + all the rationalizations WHY I should have it & that I can just try again tomorrow to be good... so then that leaves me the whole day today to eat like crap... THANK YOU! I can do this. I can do this. I want to. I need to. I really want to. Then why is it STILL so rickin' frickin' hard EVERY DAY dammit!?!?!?! Ugh. I'm trying the approach of... when these moment occur... to just do NOTHING. Nothing. The thought doesn't require an action. Just keep working. Don't even get the coffee. Just keep my mouth shut and do nothing. But your reminder really helped! It was as if you wrote it just for me! THANKSSSSSSSSS!