MRSSTAX

I miss eating... sometimes more than others. I was never an emotional eater, I have always just loved food - the way it tastes, how it smells, the textures, how I feel when I'm full, everything. I've been overweight my whole entire life. I was banded back in October, so I'm 9 months out. I have lost about 70 pounds, and it's wonderful! I'll tell you though, I miss eating so much. I don't go without anything, if I want it I eat it, but I can only eat a tiny bit. The surgery has been a success for me in that sense, I look great, I'm running and lifting weights again, my blood pressure and heart rate are fantastic, it's all great.... but I miss eating. A lot. I miss pizza and beer so much, I feel like I'm mourning for a person. I don't talk about it a lot because I feel like I made this choice and it's not like I have cancer, I didn't HAVE to have the surgery, but I can't describe how much I miss eating (overeating, really). I've always eaten more than any woman I knew, it was kind of a source of pride for me, and now I can't even finish a tiny meal most days. It's good because I was well on my way to morbid obesity and beyond, but I can tell you that sometimes it's really hard. I told my husband the other night (he wanted me to talk to him about it, I usually don't) that it was like I was a full-blown heroine addict and I woke up one morning with no veins in my body. Food was my drug, I still want that feeling, that taste, but I can't have it anymore. Luckily for me, and somewhat miraculously, my hunger and cravings have taken a HUGE nosedive since the surgery. I'm rarely very hungry and even when I'm starving I can only eat a little. I know that we are all on here because we were overweight but I really think I was the hungriest person on the planet before the surgery. I'm probably right at line between the red and green zones but if I were any looser I'd be gaining weight and eating like crazy so it's good. The great news is that I don't regret the surgery AT ALL, it's the best decision I've ever made and I only rarely feel sad, the happiness and feeling good are about 98% of the time! Also, since I can only eat a little I get to eat whatever I want and still lose weight, which is like a dream come true for someone who's been overweight since the day she was born!