2bfit

This is my first time to post here; thanks everyone for being so open and helping me sort out my own feelings about what I am about to do. I was working out with a personal trainer and he was angry I had made the decision. After losing and regaining 20 pounds three times this year I'd just had enough and knew I needed to do something different. He started to say that losing weight had to do with my character and that I needed to lose it his way to build my character. Well, then it was time for me to get angry. I said after 15 years of fighting it, it had nothing to do with my character; my character was just fine. And I fired him. I said if you aren't on my team then you are off it. Goodbye. I'm being sleeved on 12/15. Wish me luck. My goal is to lose 90 lbs.

I wish I had known about this surgery before I reached nearly 300 pounds! Think of all the health issues and heartache it would have saved me! Goodness, people who have never been in the shoes of an obese person don't understand how we suffer and what it is to feel so out of control of one's self.

Let's put this into perspective, I'm 5'4", 275lbs, with a BMI of 47. Ever since I told my co-workers and friends, the first thing they say is "Your not that big......other people are bigger than you. That surgery is for them." Uh....I'm dang near 300lbs and my feet and back hurt.......I'M GETTIN THE DARN SURGERY!!! My decision is NOT to suit them or ease their concerns, it is for me, my health, and my happiness.
Do what's best for YOU! Love yourself, be confident in yourself, and eventually they will come around.

Your VERY pretty! Im sure you will be a knockout when your at goal! Get ready to love how you look... you deserve it!

I don't know that people "treat" me different, but I know I feel different. Whoever said making the outside match the inside hit the nail on the head. I have the same happy personality I always did (never have trouble talking to people, I'm a bit of chatty Cathy...even with strangers I will strike up conversation, etc.)
But now I feel like people get to see ME. The real me...no more second guessing, "do they think I'm fat, lazy, unmotivated, etc." all that stuff that we KNOW isn't true about obese people yet we know people are thinking it. So I probably smile more, my step is lighter, I noticed the same thing too about people not scooting their chairs in when I squeeze behind them, etc.
I've also been fortunate enough to not lose friends, but I'm a happily married woman so it's not like I need buddies to go out who would need me to be the "fat" friend so they could look better. I'm sure if I was in my 20's and going "out" that would probably be the case. Sadly.
My hubby is sleeved as well, so we both get to be on the journey to health together, and it has been a VERY good thing that we both got sleeved!

I know I already chimed in about this but I had 2 things happen today that I had to add. 1) my hubby has a guy that he has worked with for years. he has only known me as the fat wife. I just saw him last week and he told my hubby last night that I look like a different person....and I have turned into a MILF! haha! that is soooo funny to me.
2) my kids train in martial arts and there is this dad that takes his daughter to the same class as my kids go. He said to me today that he didnt recognize me with my new hair cut and that he almost asked me out I was looking so good. I was so embarresed! but it still felt good!

I can't answer that question yet... but, I'm excited!! I have a BIG personality... I don't meet strangers!! I wonder how my very active social life will change... more details soon....

thanks ladies! I am so excited about starting this new life. I do feel like I am in a dream world at times. There are days I still feel like I am missing something because I spent so many months going to appointments and battling with the insurance company, to not have anything else to do but wait, feels weird!
I will say that if it weren't for this forum I would have lost my mind by now! So thank you to everyone!

Hi-
I think most of the change comes from inside of you. You won't even realize that you are smiling more, carrying yourself with more confidence, etc. People react to that more than anything.
In my personal life I have been very fortunate not to lose any friends. My husband has always been supportive and the only change in our "personal" time really comes from me being less inhibited about my body.
Good luck!

Yes people treat me differently. I have" friends" who have fallen off the map, and I have never heard from again. Apparently I was being used just to be the fat friend.
One situation in particular really showed me how different people are around me now, even complete strangers. I was waiting to have lab work done. It was pretty empty, seats all around were empty, but people actually came and sat right next to me. It's happened at the doctors, the pharmacy, so many different places. And ya know, it bugs me. I was invisible when I was fat and it wasn't just because I made myself invisible, it feels as if people were scared they could catch the fat or something. *sigh*
Things changed with my husband too. He has become protective over me which he was not before. He is more affectionate. And again this bugs the snot out of me. I know he is a man, and men tend to be visual creatures but really it's hard to take in.
Now it's at the point that I have to adjust to the differences and I have to work on myself to not be angry with the differences I see from other people. I will tell you this much, after seeing first hand how different society treats obese people I will go out of my way to make an overweight person feel welcome and loved because I know how bad it hurts.

Ya know without this forum I would have bailed. Matter of fact a week before my surgery I really started to freak out and even posted about wanting to back out just to have people tell me it was normal and basically to suck it up It worked and I went through with it. Not only do you have to face a major surgery but you are facing a whole lifestyle change from the way you eat to the way you look. It's totally normal to go through a million different emotions before surgery.

Welcome to the site! You and I are having surgery on the same exact date!
As for the preop diet, if I were you I would try to start incorporating a Protein shake into your daily intake now. Replace one or two meals a day that way when you have to diet through the holidays it will not feel so overwhelming. But before you do all that make sure your doctor is going to require one.
My doctor was only requiring that I lost 15lbs. I do not have to do a preop diet.
Good luck!

that is amazing! Congratulations! I am going in on the 28th! What a way to start the new year! We can post our recovery on here together.
Good luck!
Cheri

I am so overwhelmed,,it's like winning the lottery or something!! I just can't believe it,,it's been over a year since I started the process. I was so down in the dumps just yesterday (feeling ashamed of herself for being inpatient)..and now what an awesome feeling. I was given Dec. 27th to begin my new life. Thank you, God and thanks to all those who pep talked me along the way. I couldn't have done it without you. What a roller coaster of emotions,,I'm laughing a crying at the same time.lol

I had my sleeve on 11/15 and Susan is right, there is very little surgery pain. I only used the pain medication the first day and then didn't need anything. I was up and walking that evening. Very slowly and not very far, but I was walking. The next day I walked further and was able to stand up straight. The incisions are very small and my doc used some type of clear glue stuff to close them so I didn't have any external stitches. The best thing was the 2nd day to be able to put on my clothes and do away with the hospital gown. I took a pair of elastic, loose fitting shorts to wear and once I got in my clothes, it was so much easier/nicer to walk the hospital hallways.
I don't know of any tips for staying calm. This is such an exciting adventure we are all on. I would suggest that you take a couple of pictures of yourself now at this size, get a journel and weight and measure your entire body and keep a log. Once you have the surgery and you measure yourself at 1 month out you will be amazed! Also, once you start buying new SMALLER clothes, keep 1 outfit (jeans, tee shirt) from your current size so you can compare "where you were" to "where your at" thru this journey. My insurance required my to do a 4 month diet with a nutritionist so since I started that and had the surgery I have lost almost 50 pounds and have gone from a 20W pants to 16. And when I put my old jeans on the bed and lay the new ones on top, it will really blow your mind to see the difference, cuz for some crazy reason, we can't see it when we look in a mirror at ourselves.
Good luck with your surgery, you will do just fine!

Cheri, you are going to experience so many emotions between now and your surgery, it is just crazy girl. Excitement, fear, mourning the loss of food, you name it. Just remind yourself that this is the best gift you can give yourself, a healthier you! Be excited, look forward to new clothes, being more active, all those things you couldn't do before. You will be so much more confident, happier and healthier. And remember, you don't have to mourn food, because really no food is off limits if it doesn't upset your tummy. We just have to learn to eat like "normal" people and remember everything in moderation.

I'm truly sorry that your friend of 20+ years isn't supportive of you and your decision. The only person that I've told is my husband. He's attended dr. visits with me. He's VERY supportive. It's most helpful for me to have one person that loves me and that I trust to discuss this huge decision with. I have discussed everything with him: my fears, anxiety, shame, etc.
Hopefully, your friend will have some time to process the information you shared with her and begin to support you. You are an adult woman that can make your own informed decisions. You do not have to justify your decision to her. Only to yourself. Perhaps you can invite her to join you at one of your clinic visits so that she can learn how to better support you. If she cannot support your decision (I hate to say this...) but just how good of a friend is she being to you? (sorry if that stings)
I know that some people on this forum are able to sing to the rafters the news of their decision to have WLS. I respect that in them. I will not tell anyone else until after the surgery - if then. I will need to be off work but I will only say that I'm taking vacation. I may feel differently after surgery about sharing my decision to have WLS but for now, I'm keeping my decision to myself.

Shoot...missed the opportunity to ask for Adamantium ones.

Felicia, thanks..yes it's exciting and now I can relax a little..
2bfit..thanks,,well I just got approval, no date yet either,,we might be december sleevers together! Keep me posted. Good luck with the holidays, it's so hard,,I know how you feel!

Congratulations! Time flies around the holidays,,it'll be here in a blink!

Drum roll please! Ok, it looks like I am going to be a December Sleever! :seeya: (so what is our call sign? Are we the December Divas? or something else?)
My tentative surgery date is 12/28/11 with Dr. Ramin Sorkhi at Pomerado Hospital in Poway, CA.
At first I was upset that it was not going to be sooner. I feel like the girls in the surgeons office really dragged their feet with getting a scheduled date. But, I am choosing to look at the positive. I can thoroughly enjoy Christmas and I can finally start the new year off right! I am so excited!
We are all finally on our way! :grouphug:

I would call back and start an appeal..In the mean time, I would speak w/ who ever supervises her... I believe it will work out!

I am so excited for my surgery tomorrow! I have about an hour before I go to liquids till midnight then nothing till surgery! It is such a weird feeling to have fought for this for 10 months and it is finally happening...
WoooooHooooo!

After a long year of ups and downs..I've been approved. Now I get to wring my hands while waiting on a date..LOL Seriously, I'm thrilled to have the insurance thumbs up..that's a big obstacle!!

For me, I have absolutely no shame at all. Unlike others, I do not struggle that I needed this to be healthy. I don't have perfectionist issues and don't feel as if I've let myself down that I didn't do the 'hard' or 'right' way. I do not feel like a failure. And I am very open and outgoing, to the point of shocking people sometimes . All who know me know that TMI does not apply to me! You want info, I'll give you info!! Lol. I am not a private person.
That being said, I've told no one but my closest friends and my hubby and my parents - those who I KNOW will support me. I've learned through years of research with weight loss surgery and being on boards like this for years on the Band, GB, etc, that people are, and can be, very negative. Yes, some are supportive and helpful, but there is, unfortunately, a stigma attached with is unfair and wrong. And I did/do not want to deal with people's biases and opinions. I have a co-worker out of another office down south and we all went to the company holiday party last year and she had lost about 100 lbs in a year. A group of us were standing in a circle telling her she looked amazing and she was just glowing. She was so proud and happy. One person asked her, of course, how she did it and before she could open her mouth, one of her close co-workers said derisively, 'Oh, she had weight loss surgery'. Like she had contracted herpes or something. Well, obviously, her face fell, her glow went away, and in one simple statement, that one person completely minimized everything she had done, everything she had struggled with, every work out, every salad vs. doughnut decision we still have to make. It was so wrong and unfair. And yes, we can tell ourselves that those things won't bother us, and that what we know is what matters, but sorry, it's such bullsh*t. It still hurts and it still minimizes our success and what we have done.
So I decided I wouldn't give people's ignorance, or jealously, or nay-saying (the one that always says, "oh, so-and-so had that done and GAINED IT ALL BACK") a chance to piss on my parade, or negate my accomplishments.
But, I did decide, that if someone overweight asked me, I would completely open and honest with them. To be able to share with them all this wonderful opportunity really is. It's like having the cure for cancer, and when another cancer patient asks you how, you have to tell them! Not quite as extreme, but you know what I mean. You truly WANT to share with someone who knows what struggles and pain you have lived with your whole life.
That was my decision....in a nutshell, lol. I can get a little wordy!!