Writergirl

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

I started on this journey last April when a surgeon refused to replace my knees until I lose 80 pounds. Nearly unable to walk and in constant pain, I still have struggled with the decision to do this. The moment I knew food was going to be "taken from me," I began to eat every morsel like it was my last meal, and gained about another 20 pounds, taking me to my highest and most unhealthy weight ever. The beginning of October came, and the holidays with all the eating events were ahead. I decided to go on a low-carb diet to allow myself some leeway to gain over the holidays without contributing to my all-time highest. To my great surprise, low carb worked for me. I've been struggling with the decision again: if low-carb works, why do this surgery??? But after much prayer, angst, and many tears, I believe I'm finally at peace with this decision. Why am I proud? Because all on my own, I have lost 46 pounds before surgery. Whatever happens in terms of complications, I can honestly say I've done all I could to get myself in the healthiest place possible beforehand. As a food addict, this is huge for me. I'll never know for sure that I couldn't have done it without the surgery, but I do know for sure that I still have a long way to go and I'm now beginning to be excited about the journey, rather than terrified. Just wanted to share!

Five years ago I weighed 367.8 pounds at 5'3". I was terrified of surgery, terrified of life. If you want to know what the journey from terror to triumph is like, read my posts, starting from the bottom. A few are long, but there aren't a lot.
Five years out and I still fight to reach my weight goal, but my life... It's amazing.
You can do it.

Five years ago I weighed 367.8 pounds at 5'3". I was terrified of surgery, terrified of life. If you want to know what the journey from terror to triumph is like, read my posts, starting from the bottom. A few are long, but there aren't a lot.
Five years out and I still fight to reach my weight goal, but my life... It's amazing.
You can do it.

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

Awww, now I'm crying, too!! Thank you!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

Yes, I can imagine that, because my husband was in the Army for 27 years. And we had a lot of issues involving control, but I took control of my own life and now he's my biggest supporter.
I feel your pain... I'm sorry... Be on your own journey and just love your mom.

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

You can do this!! Please feel free to reach out to me! Food is an addiction for us, and when you are in the throes of your addiction you cannot imagine being truly happy without it. But I am only TRULY happy when I am not in my addiction. It will be fine! Not every minute, but overall! I'll be thinking of you!!!

Five years ago I weighed 367.8 pounds at 5'3". I was terrified of surgery, terrified of life. If you want to know what the journey from terror to triumph is like, read my posts, starting from the bottom. A few are long, but there aren't a lot.
Five years out and I still fight to reach my weight goal, but my life... It's amazing.
You can do it.

Awww, now I'm crying, too!! Thank you!!

The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!