EdmontonGal

I felt this way shortly after surgery. I was losing and doing everything right but I wan unhappy. Turns out that sometimes, the surgery itself can cause a little bit of depression. It is allot of trauma to put your body through. Pinch hubbys ass, make him go on a walk with you and keep on trucking! This too shall pass. I turned to herbal tea (crazy good flavors out these days) when I was really just needing a comfort! GOOD LUCK!

Allot of people do not see the change in themselves! Take measurements. I didnt and regret it. The scale wont always move but if you are doing everything right, you will be getting more muscle and losing fat! Measurements will show you progress when the scale isnt. I still see myself at 262lbs sometimes. Other times, I see the change. Keep at it! YOu are looking great!

Good Morning All; This weeks weigh in: 172.8lbs Last weeks weigh in: 172.2lbs I've hit a wall. I have 10 more pounds to lose. I want to hit the 100lb mark. It has been months since I have lost anything and I was trying to maintain since the fall so that the wedding dress would fit. The wedding is over and done now. I want to get back on the wagon!!! The only thing stopping me is this bum leg and the mountain of excuses rolling around in my head. I have been walking... on occasion. But not like I could be. I am going to go see the Doctor later this week and get going to physio. The sun is shining here and I am eager to get going again. I'm eager to get my flexibility and confidence back. I want to spend my summer running hills with my besties and my pup. I want to hike and get back to kneeling in my garden. I planted a few things the other day and had to get an old milk crate out to sit on while I dug. Like my Grandmother had to do later in life. I want this stupid knee to get better already. Damn banana boat. UGH!!! So I haven't mentioned it yet but while I was in Mexico, I went back to see my tattoo artist friend who was hooking up a few friends of mine during our stay. He gave me the one tattoo that started my whole arm piece. Him, his brother and his cousin run the shop and they are pretty darn talented. If you are ever heading to PV and interested... hit me up. Anyhoot, I have been thinking about this for a long long time. Well, since I entered the 100's anyway. When my gf said that she was getting work done there, I couldn't miss out too!!! So in we went and BOOM - 20 minutes later I had my small reminder of the promise that I made to myself to day I hit 199lbs. NEVER AGAIN WILL I WEIGH OVER 199LBS! I know it is not a great photo but its all I got. It is still healing a bit too but I love it! It goes from red to orange to yellow. Maintaining where I am at for the last few months has been pretty tough. I see blogs from those incredible maintenance moders and I know that it is even a little tougher than losing because there is nothing coming for you. The reward of seeing the scale go down is no longer a boost every week. I know that seeing it stay the same is pretty sweet and I know that fitness and health are still priorities. I just cant predict how I will feel about it all. With the way that things are going, it may be another freaking year before I get the last 10lbs gone but I will get there! Take Care All!!!

Dont let yourself get HANGRY. lol. Make sure to eat a little bit even if you aren't hungry. If you get in to the habit of this now, it will be much easier to avoid it when you are back on solids. Being starved makes it really hard to eat an appropriate portion! GOOD LUCK!

Thank you to all of you strangers who even care what is going on with me! My success is owed to the support from family, friends and bandsters!!!

Hi Friends! It has been way too long. Last Weigh In March 27th: 172.2lbs Today's Weigh in: 172.8lbs Ill try to keep this from rambling on but there is allot to share!!! The trip to Puerto Vallarta and the wedding were FABULOUS! We had so much fun and did so many things that I am still wishing that we were away. I was glad however, to return to a Canada that is turning green. I am a sunshine junky after our two weeks on the beach! During the first few days of our all-inclusive vacation I forgot all about my band. The food was amazing, the drinks plentiful and the room service available 24/7. This lasted 2 days before I was feeling like hell. By day 3, I was up at 7 hitting the gym before oatmeal and fruit for breakfast and a reasonable dinner MOST days. Don't be fooled in to thinking that I was a model bandster. I ended up drinking most of my calories and sugar while away in the form of Sangria or Arnold Palmers! I was pretty surprised to find myself feeling so crappy after living off of nachos and guacamole, deep-friend everything and sauces so rich they could put Donald Trump to shame. I was at this resort 2 years ago and had no problem whatsoever avoiding the salad bar and bland protein choices laid out beside that leafy green **** for "those" people. This time, I was thankful for it. I am shocked at the difference in my eating habits over the last 2 years without even really noticing on a daily basis. This trip really put that in to perspective for me and I am glad to have the reminder of just how far I have come. I also had a few other bandster reminders. I went boogey boarding. It was a riot. I loved every minute spent riding waves and braved the salt-water nasal enemas that rushed through my face with every wipe out. So worth it. What I didn't like was that my port was in the way. I had to brace myself off centre to not have my port rub on the board and be uncomfortable and this did not help with my balance at all. I trudged on. Also noticed it while pushing myself up on my belly on the side of the poll. Anyone find that their port gets in the way? The Mister and I went zip-lining in the mountains, rode inner tubes down the river and rode mules back up to the top of the mountain for lunch. It was a fantastic day alone together full of adventure and a little peak at the life outside of PV before the friends and family arrived on Saturday. On Sunday a few of us decided to take a ride on the banana boat. It was a great way to see the Malecon and downtown PV from the Ocean. The ride went on at a conservative speed until we got back closer to our resort. The 6 of us started to get a little cocky and started to demand further danger and risk. Brilliance! I was holding on like hell, squealing like a happy little monkey when it tipped and all of us fell off. I got my leg caught up on another passenger and twisted my knee. It was a shock right through my entire body and immediately I knew that it was bad. I cried like a baby and spent the rest of the day icing and elevating the frigger. The next day, I did the same in between the hair appointments, having lunch, lounging by the pool and oh ya, getting married. lol. I was fortunate to have my Dad and my Step-Dad walk me down the isle so the limp wasn't too obvious. The wedding. Where to begin? I love my family and friends. Everything went so smoothly. It all just came together! The girls all got ready together in my room. I was feeling great. They left. Mom and Sparms Bestie helped me into my dress. I shoved a dirty ol peso in my bra. (There is a story to this and I will share one day but I have to mention it now because the day isn't complete without this part.) I felt like a little rocket. I loved my dress and the salon did a good job on my hair. My flowers were gorgeous and nothing (not even the bum knee) could ruin this day. Then, I hit the elevator and knew that my Dads would be waiting for me. I was nervous. As soon as the doors opened, they melted and I LOST MY ****. I cried all of the way down the aisle. I cried when I saw my Handsome Mr. waiting for me and I cried when we exchanged our promise to one another. It was perfect! After the ceremony, we moved over to the reception where there was a sideshow of the Mister and I. The Besties did this. I knew they were putting allot of work in to it because I was feeling a little like they had been avoiding me over the last few months and I wasn't shy about letting them know. What choice did they have? They had to tell me. It was absolutely perfect and adorable, embarrassing, funny and so sweet. Thank you friends! We all settled in for a fantastic dinner. The meal was to die for, the music was fabo and everything was just perfect. (I know I know - GAG. I won't hate. I am the blah girl in every other circumstance) After dinner, the mister made a short speech thanking everyone for coming and for the support that we have received from all of them over the last 9 years. After the speech Sparms Bestie stole the mic and guided us over to a tv. I had no idea what was going on. SURPRISE - The Besties had put together a DVD (Poontang Mafia Productions) full of messages from those who couldn't make it (Our Grandparents, some Family and some friends, including Bestie MamaG and the GTeam). Again, I lost my ****. Turn on the tears, snots and running makeup. One of our friends had written a song just for us (AMAZING) and played it throughout the video. I was so overwhelmed and touched by all of the emotions of the day. To know that we are so loved by so many people, we are blessed. I have 3 amazing sisters from other misters that make me me. Ugh - so much bigger than words. This kicked off the party and a great married life! I strapped a tensor on after my first glass of wine and danced it out like a champ at the reception! Salt and Peppa, Montell Jordan, MIA - all the gooders. lol I paid for it over the next few days and our last few in Mexico. Xrays showed nothing and I am now on some medication for the pain and swelling. The bruise is just finally coming out now. What a doozey but thank goodness it wasn't something major! I want it to get better fast because I am chomping at the bit to get this jiggly **** all toned up over the summer. It's getting pretty darn loose and wrinkly around my mid-section and chest. Can I really complain. Nope, off to BBQ some chicken for dinner. Bring on summer! Take Care, Jenny JigglyBits

This weeks weigh-in: 172.2lbs - HELLS YES - 90lbs down! I've been away for a few weeks so this is going to be a long one! SORRY ahead of time. I had a realization about my band Saturday morning. The besties and I were headed out for a day of bridesmaid dress hunting (yes I know, less than a month away) after a late St. Patrick's Day night. I rolled out of bed and figured that we would hit up a drive-thru on the way since I felt kind of like death. I am a coffee fanatic! I neeeeed a cup of joe in the morning before I even open my eyes. My regular routine is to have a few sips before my shower and getting dressed and then I eat the same oatmeal type concoction every morning. Same time, same portion, same everything. I never have problems in the morning. Since my last fill, I have had a few issues when I am on the road. Twice now, the Mr. and I have checked out of a hotel without coffee or breakfast and stopped in at McDonalds or Tim Hortons on the way since it is such a long drive home. We are in a hurry!!! Because I do not drink and eat with the bad, I have made the mistake of trying to eat first without the coffee. Things that would never get stuck, do. I couldn't figure it out and thought that it may be my band reacting to alcohol (for shame Jennifer, for shame). Well, this Saturday - BING!!! the light bulb came on after throwing up into a take out bag in the front seat of Sparms' new car while Mama G sat unfazed in the backseat. Totally embarrassing. They are both totally supportive and have really taken this journey with me but it sucked making them pull over to ditch my bag of slime. Then, it came to me - COFFEE LOOSENS MY BAND! I should not be eating anything solid in the morning until I have had a warmish liquid in there first. I have heard and read about this with many bandsters but never thought that it applied to me. Well, now I know. Over a year out of surgery and I am still learning and adapting to my ever-changing band! Work is nuts!!! Wedding stuff is even more nuts and life seems to be whizzing by! We leave in 12 more sleeps. Both of our suitcases are packed, the passports are locked and loaded and my dry whiter-than-snow skin is just dying for some sunshine and some humidity! I get my hair done today too! I've never had my hair done by a real professional. I stop by at the local strip mall for a chop here and there and because I have curly hair, no one can ever tell that it is a shitty job. Not today friends. I am hitting up a real professional! I am going to wait to put up this post so that I can include a pic. I'm hoping for something natural looking.UPDATE- The trip to the salon was worth the head message alone! Really liking how soft it feels. He even straightened it too! I felt like a special lady all afternoon. Over the last few weeks, the wedding odds and ends are being tied up. Saturday night, Sparms Bestie and I went to my Mom's house. Mom is a scrap-booker, card maker and crafter extraordinaire. We made gift tags for these gorgeous little ditties that we are sending home with guests: (this is not my photo, nor our guestbook). Collectively, the tag dream was materialised! They turned out better than I ever expected. This proven by the fact that we used none of the things that I purchased specifically for them! Thanks Mom and Sparms! Mama G Bestie braved make-up and underwear shopping with me. I have to admit, stores like that were really intimidating for me before. I don't wear make-up often at all. Partially because I have always purchased crap that I don't use more than once or twice. Mama G took me in to Seph*ra and wrangled a shop girl to test a bunch of powders on me.(Who wants sweat lip shiny wedding shots?) I would never insist on this alone. I would do my best to pick the one that I thought matched my colour and be done. After that trial, I know that I am completely clueless. I would assume that my skin was pink, not yellowish. What the hell do I know? Obviously nothing! Left the store with some great stuff and a little bit of an interest in make-up. I always believed that I would never be able to buy something from "V*ctoria's S#cret". Pssh, who cares? That place is STOOPID anyway! HMPH. Well, I hate to say it... I couldn't have been more wrong. These bras are like little silk memory foam pillows for the girls! The straps are made out of some kind of anti-slip material that feels like money on my skin! I was floored. I wanted one of everything! Mama G stood beside me and was my courage. We had so much fun chatting and browsing that all anxiety went out the window. I flipped through the drawers looking for a white strapless for under my wedding dress. They didn't have it in white at the one location but I found the style that I wanted and they held it for me at another location. The next day, the Mister and I went to pick it up. The Mister totally enjoyed the store more than he would ever care to admit and he bought the bra and a bottle of a perfume that I had been raving about. It's called "BOMBSHELL". *cough* *cough* HELLS YEAH I AM! I am also a very lucky girl! I love my friends and family... and they love me too... most of the time. lol.

This weeks weigh in: 175.4lbs. Down .6lbs this week. I went to a step class Friday. It kicked my ass and I loved every minute of it. Trying to use the toilet or climb stairs on Saturday SUCKED but it was that good good pain. I sweat my ass off through a tank and a t-shirt! GOOD STUFF! Phew! Work has been crazy and although my daily eating habits are just fine despite being out for work dinners almost every week night for the last week and all of this week too. At one of the dinners, I tried a few bites of a hot dog A HOT DOG!!! I haven't had a hot dog in forever. It smelled horribly delicious at the table next to us and I wanted mine with mustard. Tons of mustard. I had a bite and it was all good. Not quite what I imagined it to taste like but I settled on the compromise that since it was not a 10 out of 10, I would only have a few small bites and leave it alone. Well, I did have a few small bites while keeping up the conversation with a few folks. I must have been distracted because on my 3rd bite, about an 1/8th of the way in to this guilty pleasure, I felt a funny swallow. It was too big. I was going to get stuck at a work dinner. FABO! I quietly (couldn't talk) excused myself, went straight to the bathroom and was horrified to see 5 little girls playing around in and out of the 2 stalls. There was a line up! I could not imagine letting these innocent little darlings watch me lose my lunch into the garbage can, but it was coming. I couldn't open my mouth to tell them to hurry or get out of the way... so I waited swallowing hard, rocking the cold sweat and pacing. Finally, they left and I went straight in to the stall and effortlessly just spat it right out. Not to go in to TMI but this piece of hot dog that was causing all of this, was the size of a small pea. My vitamins are bigger than this. WTF? Lesson learned. Farewell hot dogs... I will miss you but my ass will not. Apparently, I have tricked myself in to believing that they taste a whole lot better than they really do. This weekend the hubby and I are hitting the slopes at Marmot Basin. A whole weekend away together... alone! I don't know if we have ever done this. I am really excited about us being able to share another hobby! I love the Rocky Mountains and I love Jasper, Alberta almost as much as I love the ocean. There is something to be said about a heard of elk greeting you at your door in the morning and the surrounding views of the Rocky Mountains. When I was younger I used to dream about building my own little cabin way up there in the bush with a zip line just for me to take my trips to town for supplies. Although I still love the idea, I know that I would never survive! lol. I love the outdoors and am so fortunate to live where I do. The promise of this will get me through this week! Check out one of the Travel Alberta Commercials: If anyone ever wants to come visit Canada for a BOOBS tour - let me know! lol. Sadly, I will not be making Chicago this year. I had hoped to but with the wedding in April (38 days until departure to be exact) and an awesome week-long road-trip with the Besties to Vancouver Island in July, I won't be able to afford it. It doesn't help that September is black out month for all of the field executives at work either. Maybe 2013! More news; My Mom had decided to have Bypass surgery in May after the Mexico trip. She has started a blog and when she figures out how to send me a link, I will share it with you all. I am really excited for her and she has worked really hard at all of this for a while now. She is down 30ish lbs so far and I only see her working harder and harder. Allot of the work has been on her own and she has even been trying to motivate some of the girls that she has met through different nutrition and psych classes that she has attended. I am proud of her and cannot wait for her to tap in to the wonderful world of support in blogland! Stay tuned! Take Care all and please keep your fingers crossed for me to escape the weekend without injury!

Thanks Shues! Loss is tough but it is that kick in the ass that I needed to start looking at the big picture again.

I thought that I had felt a few funny things with my port a few months out. One time, I was carrying a laundry basket and felt a little pop. I still cannot see my port unless I lay down and push the skin around it down. I just thought that the tenderness that I had then was normal,,, until the fill attempt. I have heard that fixing the port is no big deal and if thats what your surgeon suggests for you to move on, DO IT! All the best!!! I will when my time comes.

This weeks weigh in - 176lbs. Up 1.4 lbs. I will blame this on me allowing my old social and anxiety-ridden habits creep back in on me over my other Grandfather passing. Both of them gone, almost exactly a month apart. It's stressful. I didn't exercise like I could have and I drank too much for the 3rd Saturday in a row. I also have to say that between the 2 funerals, I must've consumed my years allotment of egg salad. What is it about egg salad and comfort for me? Yes, the chalked full of mayo kind with little resemblance of any actual real egg bits? I am sad for my parents and sad for my future children too. I'm sad that they will never meet 2 of the men that make up every expectation of a man that I have ever had. They were great men. I am fortunate to have 2 Dads that will be those men for my nieces and nephews and hopefully one day, my children too. Ah, the future. It's amazing how death can make you think about your own life. That is why today, despite being the busiest week of the year for me at work, I am recommitted. I just got off the elliptical and am blogging to keep in touch! I was also just bopping around on Facebook (I don't very often) and noticed allot of people using this for before/after shots. It was SUPER EASY so I did it. Do your own here: muzy.com Looking at the photos I don't see that the 85lbs+ lost (and a week later I realise that it isnt 85lbs - its 40lbs between these photos). looks like I think that it should but I have to say that I can see it in my face. Not the weight but the energy! I feel like a million bucks physically. Thinking back about how tired I was every morning and the issues that I had with sleeping through the night motivates me even more. I've been bored lately and still trying to maintain so that the wedding dress fits come April so I have to keep a handle on things and keep my fitness up (big priority) and my weight steady. Do I pig out and work my ass off at the gym or eat like a good bandster and not exercise? I know, I know... neither. It's a tough freaking balance! Given what I have been going through lately and where I plan to go after the wedding (kickin the fitness back up), moderation and balance are key. High-fives to those in maintenance! I think that part may be tougher than actually losing! TAKE CARE ALL!

I was informed that my port flipped during my third or 4th fill I believe. That was 6 months post-op. I have a Realize band. MY surgeon discussed a revision surgery with me and after he pushed the port in and up, he was able to make the fill. Since I had a decent amount of fluid in my band at the time, he suggested that we just leave it and revisit as I progress. At my next couple of fills, he just flipped it and filled my band. Sometimes it takes an additional poke but really, I don't want to be taking time off at this point for a revision. I am lucky that he can still access it I guess. I will have the revision if I need to though. It is a day surgery with local anesthetic but I really hate the hospital! GOOD LUCK!

Arent you a gem? Already a step in the right direction. My husband was my biggest cheer leader. He changed his eating habits along with me (for the most part, he still has a steak while I have fish or chicken on occassion). He was always the first to tell me how great I was looking and the first to tell me that my hips or my collarbones were sexy! He has been really great about exercising with me. A walk together, a bike ride, a ski trip or weights while I am on the elliptical. He was never in to exercising before but through his own research about my band, he discovered that there is a high divorce rate with WLS patients. This must've scared him I think. lol. Your wife is going to gain confidence and motivation as she succeeds. This isn't meant to scare you at all but her interests and hobbies will change. Growing together is a solid way to make sure your relationship remains close and as you are here, we can all tell that you want the best for her and as long as that stays the same, you will be fine!

This weeks weigh in: 174.6lbs A NEW LOW! I can almost taste 90lbs lost. 2lbs away. I lost a full lb this week and I really wasn't anticipating any loss at all. Last weekend was besties weekend at the cabin (I'll get more in to that later ) and I only went to Zumba once this week. I did not workout on the elliptical, I didn't walk the dog and to add a cherry ontop - TOM! I also got drunk for the 2nd Saturday in a row. I've been stressed and really did have allot of fun! I did maintain my pre-portioned meals like a champ this week. I packed healthy protein and high-fiber lunches and snacks all week and didn't stray at all. I drank my water too. The evenings were busy with work and life so I was able to avoid being bored hungry in the evenings. It's funny how one week like this can seem so easy and then the next I feel like I'm on the verge of falling off. The Besties weekend was AMAZEBALLS! Mama G tells a good version of the story here: Musings of a Manic Mama. That would be me that bruised her ass off. We knitted, played games, drove around on the frozen lake, ate, drank, danced and shared some deep **** between the 4 of us. I love these ladies! Friday night, we all stayed up until the crazy hour of 11pm. WOOT WOOT wild girls I tell ya. Saturday, 3... maybe 4 am. I dunno, I was DEERUNK! The evening started out with a lovely dinner. We have this restaurant chain in Western Canada (Colorado and Washington in the US have a few too) called EARLS. It's trendy and reasonably priced but it's not the most amazing food ever except for one menu item: Grilled Chicken and Baked Brie Ciabatta grilled chicken, melted brie, roasted apples, spinach, sweet fig jam, garlic mayonnaise, house baked ciabatta. Photocredit: Foodosophy Sweet Mama Jama. This is like crack to me. We did a fabo job of recreating it since anytime the besties go there we all order the same thing. We had it all planned out, made it from scratch and nailed the fig jam too! Soon, after dinner the drinking began. Shortly after was the kitchen dance party. Then the 20 year old neighbors invited us over. We debated and even warned them that we were 10+years older than them but they were game and we showed em how to win like a boss! We hitched up the kayak to the back of a quad, crammed 4 bodies on it and went whipping around the frozen lake at 60km/h at 1am. I screamed and laughed my ass off! AWESOME. Then we played some cards and consumed a few more bevies before draggin our butts and the kayak home. I was feeling it the next morning but it was well worth it. A 10 out of 10. Sigh, I wish I could spend every weekend at the lake. Some pictures for you all. Yes, I am wearing a housecoat on the kayak. Smells wore a blue one. Man, we are too cool. Winston our snowman - the only man allowed to join us. SCRIBBLISH! Imagine whipping hand-break turns all around a frozen lake - while blasting this song: The new Bestie Theme Song. MIA - Bad Girls Do It Well. I feel badass. I'm so not. lol Yesterday the besties went for brunch in celebration of MamaG's Bday. It was loverly! Later in the afternoon Smells and I headed off to the ski hill. She hadn't bee skiing in years either but ruled the hill! The weather was fabulous on top of it all. 8 degrees Celsius... in February. What!?!??! I swear that I heard a goose yesterday evening. Those feathered friends never dare show up here before April it seems. Spring may be on the way to Alberta! Sweet jeebus I am ready. I read a blog from Stephanie at Dreams of Skinny High Heels. She was introducing a friend of hers Jen. Jen has been through a long weight loss journey and had just started blogging. She is not a bandster. It doesn't matter to me at all. This gal has lost and kept off over 100lbs. She's another hero to me just like any other person who has committed to lifestyle change, had successes and struggles and is honest enough to share them both with me. I appreciate all of you bloggers and so appreciate the individuality of each of your journeys. I am on page with some of you and not at all with others but all of the tips, tricks, advice, laughs and support has been a big part of my journey and success. THANK YOU! The longer that I have my band, the more that I feel like it is a shock collar. That it is more of a mental thing than a physical thing for me. Yes, I have had things get stuck and I do not eat and drink at the same time (mostly) but that is about all that my band changes for me. I rarely feel restriction and can eat just about anything that I want in whatever quantities that I want. The fact that I went through surgery in the first place has been the driver for me. Why would I do that to myself if I wasn't 100% in? I committed to changing my lifestyle. Saying all of this also makes me feel like I am discrediting the band itself and I certainly do not want to seem ungrateful at all but I feel that it is me that makes food choices, me that kicks my ass in to working out and me that struggles mentally with moving forward and not backwards. All of these things are why I choose to selectively tell people about my band. I do not shout it from the rooftop because honestly, I do not want MY hard work and progress to be attributed strictly to my band. I want the credit dammit! Is that selfish? I do believe that if I hadn't gone through the surgery and hadn't had check-ins with my nurse, surgeon and dietitian that I wouldn't be near as successful as I am today. So I am thankful for all of the experience and knowledge that this whole banding process has given me and because of that, I love my band. Take Care All!

Last weeks weigh in 177.2lbs, This weeks weigh in: 175.6lbs. Hard to believe and I feel like a skeptic. It is the lowest that I have ever seen on the scale since I was 15 I am guessing. Woot Woot! There are some exciting things happening for me these days! I tried Zumba for the first time ever. My Mom finally convinced me to go. I went to a community league in my neighbourhood. I enjoyed it but left thinking that I should have been more played out. I chalked up to my own fault and said that I would go again and work harder. I ended up going to a different class today to check it out and OMFG!!! Did I get my sweat on! I am not that coordinated nor do I don't have a ton of rythym but I enjoy music so much. I had a blast and left extremely envious of the beautifully buff-lean firecracker of an insructor! I will definately go back. I put off going for so long because I thought I would make an ass out of myself and I had no one to go with. During the class, I didn't catch all of the moves but I really didn't give a **** if I looked like an idiot. I was doing my best and getting my groove and sweat on despite! I have GOT to figure out a game plan for this wrinkly-ass stomach that I have going on right now. I really am starting to be bothered by it. The sound of your gut slapping against your upper-thigh while running stairs is horrifying!! I didn't intend on posting this picture but I have been hiding this old-man ball looking **** in my ginchies for weeks. Got any advice??? Anyone else willing to show me theirs? lol. It really is starting to piss me off and get me down a bit. I know that this is much more healthy then the robust belly that I had before but ladies and any wrinkles just don't mix. Sunday, the mister and I went skiing. It was the first time in over 15 years. I had a NSV while renting skis. I was asked how much I weighed and I didn't lie. I even added a lb. to be safe. I was really nervous that I would wipe out getting on the chair lift and roll down the hill and get lodged in some equipment of the lift and the fire department would have to come and everyone who was waiting for the chair lift would be annoyed at me and the mister woudl be embarrased and I would go home, defeated ans possibly even injured. Not this time! Two feel-out trips down the bunny hill and it was like riding a bike. I conquered that pair of flexy snow blades. I rode them like a champion jockey winning the big race, first time out on the new horse. You all get how excited I am right? lol. I'm in such a weird mood. I'm giddy. I've found some motivation in doing new things and am really feeling high on successes these days. The mister gained about 11lbs over Christmas and has been getting on the elliptical on occasion. HE doesn't enjoy it so me skiing while he snowboards is something that we can enjoy together. We have planned a weekend in the Rockies to take advantage of the lift tickets and hotel voucher that work got me as a wedding gift. BRING ON THE ROCKIES! I had an appointment with my surgeon for a fill on Monday. He asked if I would like 1cc or .5cc. I chose to have less and test the waters. Better safe than sorry. I am currently trying my best to maintain where I am at in order to fit my wedding dress in April. It fits like a glove currently (with added cutlets in the breastest area) and I do not have time to have it altered now. My surgeon was thrilled with my progress and that always makes me feel good too. I am up to 5.5ccs in my 11cc band. This was my fifth fill. I am going to continue to portion my meals and hope that I stay fuller for longer. If need be, I will book an appointment after Mexico in April and go from there. I know that it is still quite soon to tell as I was on mushies until dinner lastnight, but I think that I am feeling fuller longer and that I am eating less. Tuesday, for lunch I had a small whole wheat egg salad and spinich wrap and a 1/2 c of greek yogurt. I took my time with the wrap and had no issue. I could only get in two bites of the yogurt before I felt a bit tight in my chest. Nothing uncomfortable but a sign. I think. I am hoping that I finally have some restriction when it comes to quantity. I have had a few "stuck" episodes now but it has some down to a rushing and not chewing issue. I forget to mind my mouth when I am in a rush. Still must work on this! I am back to exercising, eating well and taking care of myself physically and emotionally. To build on the last one, I am off to the cabin with my besties this weekend. So excited. We will spend the weekend knitting, venting, ranting, laughing, cooking and playing board games all with cocktail in hand! I am also looking forward to the quiet mornings on the patio w. coffee in hand too! last besties trip - the moon on the lake. How can you not relax?. Take Care,

Hello Blog Land! I've missed you so. Its been weeks since my last confession blog. Before Christmas I weighed in at 178lbs. This morning I weighed in at 177.2lbs. Yesterday I celebrated my 1 year bandiversary. It has been tough but easy, emotional but encouraging and certainly up and down, roundabout journey! I wouldn't change a thing. I am satisfied with my progress with eating and exercising. Coming to terms with the denial that I was living in has been tough but if there is anyway to sum it up: **** happened - not happens. I am in control of me and my choices. Bring it on! Maybe in 2012 I will hit the 100lbs lost mark. If not, I am cool with whatever happens as long as I continue to challenge myself, get more fit and never look back! I have attempted to blog a few times over the last few weeks so bear with me as I compile them all here and start with a clean new slate in 2012 and start my 2nd year of being banded. Things over the Holidays were a little nutty but fantastic nonetheless. I spent time with family and had the Mother-In-Law staying with us for a few weeks too. All in all I have to say that I did pretty good over the holidays. New Years Day breakfast consisted of nachos that I didn't fire off for the party we hosted for our friends and framily but that was a small blip in the radar. I did have a few too many drinks the one night but kept the snacking and drinking to a minimal over the Holidays. The biggest difference for me was the way I piled my plate at the festive meals. All of what seemed like 10 of them! I did take more then I intended to eat. I would say that on average, my meals were less than half of the size that they were last year. I was left feeling like I didn't really put in allot of effort to make this happen and totally reassured that I have made some concrete lifestyle changes that really are just natural to me now. It has gotten easier and I hope that it will continue to happen until I get to where I want to be. I still have no restriction. AWKWARD FRAMILY PHOTOS! I love my besties! Looking back on 2011, I really am so proud of the NSV's and the SV's! I started 2011 @ 222lbs. In all, I lost 44lbs last year and 85lbs in total. Here are some of my fav NSV's from 2011. I can sit comfortably in a plane seat with a dangling seat-belt! Usually every time we go to Newfoundland, I like to take a hike at Cape Spear. The furthest Eastern Part of North America. Many times I would stop halfway to the lighthouse to catch my breathe or baby my burning legs from the hike. This year, I jogged part way up and finished the rest of the hike without a single wheeze! I felt like I could have easily done it again... and again. lol I have gone from a size 20 jean to a 12/10. I finally got my vessel (body) gussied up with a completed ladies of the family tribute tattoo on my arm. I will actually wear sleeveless tops these days despite my wrinkly batwings. I can hold a plank for 60 seconds! A long time goal that I met in 2011. I can shop for clothing at the regular size stores. H&M, Espirit, MEXX... A far cry from the frumpy florals at Addition Elle and Penningtons! I bought a pair of mid-calf high boots. My calves have NEVER fit in to cute boots! Still not in to the knee high boots yet but I feel that they lead people to believe that you have some sass. I am not ready to let people in on that yet. lol. Ladies who rock them, I envy you! They look great with your cute little jeans all tucked in! A goal for 2012. So much to be thankful for! 2011 brought me a husband! Okay fine, I've had him for 8 years but now that it is official, there is a sort of "honeymoon" stage that came along with the wedding. The "honeymoon" stage in my world is coming home to an empty dishwasher and sometimes even a crumbless counter. WOOT WOOT! I finally am feeling like our home is homey. When we moved in to the 4 bedroom house from the 600 sq/ft condo it was really empty and echoey here. It felt cold and sanitary. ICK. I painted the kitchen last January and with some additions of plants, art and us finally adding some shelves and accessories to the bedroom, I am pretty darn comfy here! I did attempt to get back to blogging last week and started with this: 2012 has started on a rough note. My 90 year old Grandfather had his leg amputated on December 30th due to complications from diabetes. He has been fighting this disease and the associated complications for many many years. His fight was a major reason that I started my WL journey. Because of his age he was not put out. He was given an epidural of sorts and remained awake while they removed his right leg just below the knee. Our entire family packed the hospital waiting room and banded together to support him and the tough decision that he had made. We waited a couple of hours and were met by the surgeon to inform us that he had made it through surgery like a champion! We all took turns going on to visit him after the surgery and when my sister and I got our chance we didn't hold back. My Grandfather is a sweet, gentle giant. I swear, his index finger is the size of a banana! Okay, not that big... and really he isn't that tall when I come to think of it. Regardless, he always seemed like a giant to me. Anyway, he is TOUGH. Tough as nails. After surgery, my sister and I wanted to congratulate him for being so tough. He tried to argue with us as he cried, mourning the loss of his leg and the normal appearance that he has had for 90 years. All I could tell him was that after being married to my Grandmother for 65 years, he is tough! He laughed. We hugged him and told him how proud of him we were and left the hospital feeling confident that he would pull through. 2 days later, pneumonia set in. His speech started to slur. We suspected mini strokes that were never confirmed. Slowly, as they removed a direct line for pain from his stump and pushed med after med to deal with constipation, pain and infection his health declined. Yesterday morning, after spending the extremely rough night with him (my sobbing-self and incredible Aunt stayed all night) my Grandmother came to spend the day (like everyday since) beside his bed holding his hand. All she could do yesterday was hold him and cry. Through my own tears, I tried to picture them on their wedding day. Holding each others same hands as they were now. Did they ever think about the things that they would go through together. Did they know that they would face challenges like this? Did my Grandmother know that she would have to live without him one day? Or did they both deny it to themselves? Now, being newly married myself, I got home late from a work meeting last night and crawled in to bed with the fast asleep Mister. All I could think about when I looked at him was a whirl of life. What would it look like for us and would I be holding his hand like my Grandmother held my Grandfathers this morning one day? Would I have to live without him or vice versa one day? Without a doubt, I know that my Mister is the one for me and that all of these things, good and bad, are coming for us. I am not afraid... as long as I can hold his hand. Grandpa has gone back to our hometown hospital late last night via ambulance. He has been unresponsive since he arrived but he is comfortably resting and not in pain. A few hours after I wrote this I closed it and headed off to an evening meeting. While I was at work the hubby got the call from my Dad. He waited for me to get settled in at home and to have a little snuggle session (I had been go go go without time for this fav pastime with my man over the last few weeks) before he told me that my Grandfather had passed away. I was relieved. I was sad. I was worried about my Grandmother and my Dad and the rest of our family that depended on our patriarch to bond the family with a gentle noble mischievous hand. We will miss him terribly. Celebrating the 64th Anniversary - May 2011 I am promising myself for 2012 that I will not put off until tomorrow, what can be done today (except for work). I will try to do all of the things that I want to do and do nothing that I don't want to do. I will try to keep the big picture in my mind through all that I do. I will continue on with my healthy lifestyle. Mind, Body and Spirit. Love life peeps!

Nope, no tool! Hands and buckets. Last night I finished it all off too but not before falling off of the 3ft (Thank God it wasn't a 10ft) ladder. A little banged up but a freezer full of cherries is decent compensation. Picking is nothing! Pitting is something else let me tell ya! Thanks for the comments guys!

Last weeks weigh in: 180.2lbs. This weeks weigh in: 178.5 = 1.7lbs. Yesterday I was catching up on some blogs that I have missed over the last few days and came accross Lap Band Gals recent post: How to Gain Three Pounds In Three Days With the LapBand.. This struck a chord with me because I can absolutely relate when it comes to my ups and downs! Here's the VLOG After the dinner, I got pickin! Cherry pickin. Here in Alberta, we do not get the long warm growing season that the West Coast sees and needs to grow thier BEAUTIFUL sweet cherries. BUMMER! But we get enough heat to grow these: My tree is an Evans Cherry Tree. This is my third round of picking! I currently have 16 bags in my freezer. That is 96lbs OR 192cups of cherries. I brought a few bags to the neighbours and my Mom and the Besties took a few bags too! My mother-in-law is coming to town from Newfoundland at Christmas time. We are going to CAN CAN! Hopefully the Besties, my Mom and sisters will be in for the pitting party and we can make all kinds of great Christmas gifts with them. I would like to attempt to beef up my domestic goddess resume by learning how to can! Pie filling, jam, upside down cakes, chutney and pies are on the roster. Anyone have any healthy/sugar free recipes for these sweet treats? EXCITING! Does canning make me officially old? lol. Cheers,

Last weeks weigh in - 183lbs. This weeks weigh in - 180.2. Lbs lost = 2.8. A good week! So as a courtesy to myself, I try to look back at progress once in a blue moon. Progress = motivation for me and this is why: WEEK ONE POST-OP WEEK 29 POST-OP The difference: 44lbs Average: 1.5lbs per week. I know that doesn't seem like allot. But this is for those of who who are frustrated... 1.5lbs a week ADDS UP! KEEP GOING! Posting the first picture is horrifying. SCARY! Imagine, I had already lost 40lbs when this was taken. You will not find an unclothed pic of me at 262lbs. I wouldn't allow any to ever be taken! I am losing slowly, I am doing nothing that I cannot continue to do forever. I take my time. I change things to suit me and my new lifestyle. I do not fool myself in to thinking that I will not make poor choices ever again. I do not fool myself in to believing that I will workout 6 days a week when I just happen to one time and then lose 3lbs that week. I do not fool myself in to thinking that I will be done with the hard work when I hit my non-existent target weight. I still make excuses, I still justify, I still beat myself up when I am having a tough time staying on track and that results in a vicious cycle of poo poo on me BUT I am happy! I try to be gentle with myself. I feel great and the NSV's and progress (when noticed) is fabulous fuel! I read a blog suggested by Lap Band Gal (you can read it here.) and do have to agree that approving people who are roughly 10lbs over the national average is insane! I know the national average is high though. The author refers to the band as stomach binding. I wish! lol. A comment left by a reader "I also find it interesting that the author of this article appears to be considerably overweight. How's that diet and exercise thing going for her?" - bahahahah! I have a feeling that this article will have an interestingly hot debate to follow. Looking forward to the massacre of part II. My choice to have WLS was a tough one. I was only offered WLS after I had lost 40lbs during a 15 month program called WeightWise. Through the program, one attends sessions on general nutrition, emotional eating, identifying triggers, meeting with nurses, psychiatrists, dietitians and being strictly monitored when it comes to attendance, weight loss and food journals. I have to say that with a non-restrictive band thus far and coming up on 7 months post-surgery, the addressed emotional and psychiatric components are what is going to take me to the ideal healthy lifestyle! Having the surgery, sorry for those who tune in often, changed my BRAIN 100%. The commitment, the seriousness of the surgery, the fear and anxiety about the decision and the procedure itself changed me. The band hasn't done anything physically yet, but it does remind me by just being there. There is no way that I went through all of it to fail! Restriction or no restriction, I am in control! I also have to mention that if I had to pay for surgery myself, I probably wouldn't. Not because I am opposed to surgery, (DUH) but because I am young (still milking this for almost one more year). I work in the non-profit world and the mister and I have other priorities financially that just can not be delayed. It is a constant battle to keep up the house, the cars and just life in general. I am not sure that I would or even could spend the money on WLS. Fortunately, I didn't have to and was blessed to find myself in the care of a great team with an awesome gift! "OH CANADA" - free surgery and support for those who are committed and will work at it! Imagine! Anyhoot, off to the 1st shift at the 2nd job today. We have a Mexico trip and Newfoundland trip to pay for. Totalling about 1 month of vacation and $5000.00. Not even half of what a band would cost! It would be hard for me to choose surgery over two trips to sunny Puerto Vallarta and grey but gorgeous Newfoundland! Cheers all!

Now that I have your attention... lol. I woke up last Tuesday with an extremely sore back, neck and shoulder. My shoulder has been bugging me for weeks. Well actually months when I look back. I think that it may have something to do with my drooping bust! Anyone else out there face shoulder or back problems with the shrinking and sagging boobies? In true Jen fashion, i kept denying that I needed to have it looked at and I waited until it was unbearable. I couldn't even turn my head. I made an emergency call to a nearby acupuncture and massage clinic since Sparms Bestie had popped in last week and recommended the place. The Dr. called me back shortly and could slip me in shortly. Grand! Except for the fact that I had never have had acupuncture before. I have a huge-ish tiny little fear of needles. When I was a kid it was horrible. I would be completely put under at the dentist and would have a tiny needle poke in my fingers at the clinic when they needed to take blood samples. Thanks to the Pre and Post-Band process, I have been getting over it slowly. I decided that if I could go through with fills that acupuncture couldn't be too terrible and I was DESPERATE! He gave me an assessment by checking my pulse in both wrists and taking a look at my tongue. I then undressed and lay on my side on the table. He came in and inserted the first needle in the back of my neck. Not too bad at all. I can handle this. I barely felt the needle go in. He then began to twist the needle around asking me if I felt anything. All of the sudden, ZING! He hit something. It was almost like a little shock and I could feel my body almost immediately let go. He continued on to my shoulder, arm and leg. He then applied a medicinal herb to the tips of the needles and lit them with a torch and left me for 20 minutes to relax while the needles warmed my nerves. I could feel the release. I was thankful. He then came back in and wanted to try cupping. Hmmmm, cupping? Yes, cupping. I think it sounds like a dirty thing. lol. But I accepted. He then took small pieces of cotton, lit them on fire and threw them into these softball sized glass globes. He immediately stuck them one at a time to my shoulder, arm and back. As the air cools, a vacuum is created and your skin is sucked into the globes. He applied 5 and again left me on my side for about 20 minutes in the cozy, dim room. I could feel the tension melting! It was amazing! I finished the session with a fantastic aggressive massage and headed off to work with some relief and some pretty big hickeys! I only got one picture and it's not a great one but at least you get the point. Anyway, i went back again on Friday and felt pretty decent over the weekend but woke up with some pain today. I will definitely go back! I got one work out in last week before the shoulder knocked me out and spent the entire long weekend camping on the river eating GARBAGE! I had licorice, a hotdog, chips and some drinks too! All of that and only one pound gained. I weighed in today at 183lbs. The loss of 80lbs didn't last very long but I am a lucky lucky girl. Camping really brings out allot of my old habits and this weekend I didn't win the mental battle, nor did I try too hard either. Regardless, I am getting back on the elliptical as soon as I finish here! I did not put my pj's on when walking in the door to curl up and watch the latest Love in The Wild that I PVR'ed with the attention seeking pup. I got dinner together, checked in by blogging and am now on my way to finish up the last of the camping laundry and finally - GET MY ASS IN GEAR! I leave you with a shot of one of my favorite places ever to camp; [/url] Cheers;

I weighed in at 182lbs this morning! 2.7lbs this week. Not too shabby at all. This marks 80lbs lost for me! Woooohoooo! I still feel no different. I mean I do but I don't. I do not see the changes or feel them on a regular basis but I do know that exercise is easier, I have more energy and I certainly have changed in clothing sizes. Still, despite these things I still feel the same! Darn body image trickery! I am still working on wrapping my head around what I actually look like. I see women on the street and try to guess if I am thier size. A few weeks ago at a concert, there was this beautiful blond girl. She was a bigger girl for sure and she was gorgeous! I would be happy to rock the thickness like she was. I leaned over and asked Steve if that girl was about my size. He was shocked. "Jen, that girl is about the size you started at." I was sure he was just trying to be nice. Brain, catch up! My last fill resulted in no changes at all. Back in another few weeks to get it figured out! Last week the besties pulled together to help out Smelly Bestie with a fundraiser. She is planning to embark on one CRAZY journey this September. Her and another Canadian friend are travelling across India for 2 weeks as part of a rickshaw race for 2 awesome charities. They will be unassisted for 2600+km. That's 1,615+ miles for you Americans. Either way, it's a long long route for 2 Canadian gals to travel alone on a glorified lawnmower! The night went well. We ruled at name that tune, had some great laughs and raised just over a 1/4 of the entry fee (donation to the charities), which is about $2000.00CAN. For more info go here: 2 Crazy Canucks - spare some change to change the world a little bit! I had my first of 4 scheduled tattoo appointments on Sunday. I feel so damn bad ass! lol. I am giddy. It turned out to be more than I ever thought that it could be. It is hard to envision the finished piece as I only have the outline but I did see the stencil all done up and it is worth the wait! By the end of August I should be all done! Can't wait! Here it is: Take Care!

I weighed in at this morning at 184.5 lbs. Down .2 of a lb. YEAH - sarcasm. Oh well, take it and move on! No regular Tuesday blog this Tuesday. I fell asleep on the misters side of the bed, exhausted after…let’s say desert. He woke up, turned off the alarm clock and hopped in the shower. I slept peacefully for another 45 minutes. I woke up in a sun beam, the pups curled up in the crook of my knees, coffee on and the sound of the mister in the shower. I rolled over, looked at the clock and FREAKED!! 7:15am. I overslept by an hour and 15 minutes. I gobbled up breakfast, showered and hit the road before I even thought about the blog for today. I neeeeeed a vacation. On the plus side, a few of the besties are heading to the cabin this Friday. BEAUTY! Ive been so tired lately. I have been eating well and exercising on a semi-regular basis. 4 times a week between POD RUNNER and the elliptical since the thunderstorms and rain have long outworn their welcome. I’m bored and that never fares well with me. I have been looking at kettle bells here and there recently, trying to remind myself that I need to get toning. Cardio is good and all but I need to step it up with all of these weird wrinkly jiggly bits hanging from the strangest places on my body. Also, something that I am very excited and nervous about is happening this coming Sunday. I am getting a large tattoo started on my left shoulder and arm. I am nervous about being able to sit through it all and that the pain may be too much for me. I have a few small tattoos already but this sucker is going to be a real piece of art! I have wanted it for a very long time and am ready to finally do it! The tattoo will include a flower for each of the women in my family who inspire me and who taught me a thing or two. I started with a bird of paradise tattoo to represent my niece and her mother, my sister-in-law. They had a bird of paradise in their wedding boquets when she married my brother in Mexico last year. My sister-in-law is a fantastic mother, a beautiful wife to my brother and someone that I respect for her determination and her commitment to her family. My niece is a beautiful little girl and such a character too! I will share progress next Tuesday! Bird of Paradise Tattoo Wish me luck all!

Hi Rosey!!! How are things going for you? The marshmellow shots are just hollowed roasted marshmellows with a bit of baileys inside and then you pop them in your mouth. HEAVEN! I always have fun at whatever I am doing. Life is just too short to stress, worry, be hard on yourself! Thanks for reading and I hope things are going well for you!