peacequeen

So you aren't getting to have the surgery at all due to mental issues? That's ridiculous and you should find another doctor, if you were still interested. If you have a system that is working for you, then maybe you don't need to but you should have a choice. I failed my eval but I am given the option to see a psych and continue my therapy. They will send letters for clearance to the bariatric center (surgeon) that I am ready for surgery. It is a good thing to get my head clear first but I'm not being denied because I have those problems, that just wouldn't be fair!

Thanks everyone, I'm crying as I'm reading all the replies of support. I am def going through something. I had a the esophageal precedure yesterday,,quite unpleasant, I might add. The tech said I definitely had dysphagia but the doctor has to read it and follow up with the results so I don't know what my doctor is going to suggest and what the complete outcome of the test will tell. I know that it's a choice between lapband and gastric sleeve. If I can't tolerate the band due to swallowing issues I'll have to have the sleeve and that is setting off a whole different set of emotions, concerns, worries, anxiety..etc. I know there are those of us who have very strong personalities..those are assertive and very controlled over everything they do and those who aren't,,which is what I am. So since I do have a difficult time staying in control, it really helps to have the support here at this site. I think another problem I'm having along with the fact it all seems so far out of reach,,is that I have yet to even meet my surgeon one on one. I met him at the seminar but every other part of the process has been alone (without the surgeon's involvement). I will be meeting up with him soon, I hope. I think to hear him tell me I have to make the changes might help?? Gosh, I sound pathetic.lol I feel like a child that needs their hand smacked for getting into the cookie jar.

My eval lasted about 2 hours. I failed. I've been recommended to continue in my therapy and to seek out a psychiatrist to evaluate and regulate the med I'm on to make sure it's working or if I need to take something else. I need to get my mind straight before I get this surgery. I don't want to have another failure. I think the psych eval is necessary. I was depressed and anxious before I became morbidly obese, however, I've always struggled with my weight and carried extra pounds. I'm hoping if I get down to the reason and change the way I think, I would be much more a success than to continue to think the way I do and lie, cheat and steal to get the surgery, thinking it's a magic cure. I think I overeat for a reason and I'd like to know why.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Reverie: I am in therapy. My therapist is working on helping me to change the way I think. Some days it works, some days it doesn't. They put me on a very intense high Protein low carb diet. I did it for 1 week, lost 6 pounds and I was very excited then something happened that made me lose my motivation and I gained it back. I have a condition that is causing swallowing issues and I'm having a esophageal manometry tomorrow to see if I will even be able to get a lapband. I gues since it's so out of reach, it's just making me feel less enthusiastic about even trying. If I was counting calories and excercising, I probably wouldn't have posted.lol I could set here and make alot of excuses, I do have some valid reasons but I really just wanted to get support and possibly hear there was someone else out there that knew what I was going through and could shed some light. I know what I need to do, I think this is a mental issue but I'm not sure what it is but would like to figure it out. I'm waiting for the day I wake up and have gained control. cwm812: It sounds very familiar! I'm going through the exact same thing you did. It's good to know your doctor had faith in you and were able to get the surgery anyway. I hope my doctor feels that way about me, I have been very worried. He doesn't know about my weight gain yet, but will see me tomorrow for my procedure..makes me a little nervous. mattie7632: That's a good point you made. I hope I have the same successes you have if I get banded...maybe when I hear that I actually get to have it that will change the way I think? I don't know if it's a deeper issue or not. 54Shirley: I've suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time. I do think that it has alot to do with the reason I lose motivation so quickly. I'm so scared I'll do the same thing if I get banded. In a way the 6 mth diet is a 2 edged sword. On one side it's the waiting game that makes me anxious and unmotivated, the other side is giving me time to get my mind in the right place which is apparently something I need. Thank you, I'll check out that post. crecia1975: I know you are so right. I'm going to have to just face my demons and get working. Maybe I need a life coach or someone to keep me focused. I'm sorry you gained and went through what you did but it's good to know I'm not alone.

I haven't had surgery yet, still have a way to go. I'm supposed to be on a 6 month pre op diet but I'm failing miserably. I've gained 9 pounds I'm not really trying but not because I don't want to try. I just feel depressed and unmotivated. I'm having a hard time snapping out of this. I am in therapy. Wondering if anyone else is or has gone through this? I'm weighing in at an all time high and I just feel so out of control. Everything just seems so out of reach, I feel this 6 month wait has really hurt my enthusiasm.

I keep reading posts where people are saying their doctors, friends, spouse, trainers, parents,,etc are saying that weightloss surgery is "cheating". I don't understand it. Cheating life? Is that what they mean? Do they think we should bust our asses to the point of no return,,even if we are sick and diseased and can't function like they can? So if a man uses viagra,,does the pharmacist or his wife tell him he's cheating? If anyone uses a battery powered tooth brush verses the manual ones,,is that cheating? I'm sorry, I have to vent..it just pisses me off..pardon my french! My sister has such mixed feelings about getting wls..even though she is diabetic, has blockages in her carotid arteries,,has barretts esophogus, sleep apnea, pitted edema,,,etc..etc....all because she thinks people will think she cheated or took the easy way out. Easy way out? Why in this world does it matter how a person loses weight?? I think I'm at higher risk of disease because I'm on a constant yo yo if I continue trying to lose weight the way I have my whole life. Some people just aren't mentally or physically capable of losing weight the traditional way..I'm one of them. My sister has health issues and so do I. I'm not wanting the weight off to impress anyone, surprise anyone,,look like a super model or anything else. I just want to live again, why can't people shut up and just say...do what you have to do to get the weight off? Life long skinny people need to keep their mouths shut because they will never know what this is like,,never. And fat people who want to talk smack about the surgery are just jealous because they didn't have the idea first. So then all they can do is cut it down or tell you it's cheating because they don't want you to be thin because then they will be the "fatter one". It's like the perfect excuse for people to talk you out of having the surgery,,never mind I'll end up dying young because I'm ill and getting the fat off will help me live.

Me, my husband and the HR lady at my husband's employer spoke with total of 6 different people with UHC (choiceplus plan) and they stated I DO NOT have to go on a 6 month pre op diet. When I went to my consult the insurance coordinator insists that I have to go on one per my insurance company. She said people like to argue with her about it and that almost all insurance companies require this (that's bs). So then I'm sent into to talk to the nutritionist and she gives me a notebook with a "HUGE" diet to follow for the next 6 months. But then she tells me not to lose too much weight?? This really doesn't make sense to me at all. She said she was required to tell me about this diet and to tell me to follow it because it will prove to my insurance company that I am serious. I've kinda laid low with the whole plan. It's so far out of reach for me right now, I can't even get excited or motivated at this point.

I spoke with the bariatric center and apparently, due to health problems, my surgeon will probably decide which one will work best for me then I'll have to make the final decision if I am ok with it or not. Guess I'll continue to research both, just in case I only have one choice. I hate that I can't just pick which one I want! I have myasthenia gravis (a form of muscular dystrophy.. a rare autoimmune disease that causes chronic muscle weakness). One of the symptoms I suffer from is difficulty swallowing. If I fail the test they will perform, I'll probably have to go with the sleeve. I also have a large list of weird and common medical problems that can effect either procedure and how it works so I have alot of homework and a ton of tests to go through. Unfortunately, this is going to take a while. Thank you all so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it.

Steven, maybe this will motivate you. I have to wait 6 months to get surgery. I've been in the "process" since January. I haven't gotten a date yet and I have 6 months pre op diet to go through. I have to try to diet but make sure not to lose too much weight. I am still binge eating, I still feel out of control. I'd give anything if I could get a doctor who would put restrictions on me that I would HAVE to stop eating. Feel fortunate that you are more than on your way to a healthier you. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad just to help you put things into perspective. Good luck..but you'll make it!

I'm new to this site. I've been at lapbandtalk for several months. I've been to the seminar, which covered all the different WLS available. I had my consult and beginning a journey. Due to health problems, I'm having to go through a series of different testing and I have to go on a 6 month pre op diet per my insurance company. My problem is that I have no idea which journey to take. I was so set on lapband but after suggestion from others, including several at the bariatric center, I'm looking into the sleeve. I was just becoming very familiar with all the details of the band and now I have to start over here to learn about the sleeve. I just need to know I'm making the right choices for me. So any advice, tips, info that can be offered..I'd really appreciate it. I know I will be visiting and reading here alot but anything that I need a heads up on would be helpful. Thanks!

Kab, I just read the 2 are the same. I am so glad I found this post. So much is making sense to me now. I have Myasthenia Gravis and had a crisis in 09. I had to have IVIG treatment but my body rejected and I developed aseptic meningitis. Every symptom I've read about due to PTC/IH, I have experienced and have been wondering what is wrong with me. It may not be the issue but it makes alot of sense. Guess I'll give my neuro a call tomorrow. Thanks everyone. I pray good health for all of you!

Thanks everyone. I think I want to wait and talk to the surgeon himself before I make any decisions. I would also like to make him aware of what happened to me in the office. The surgeon I picked is with a center of excellence hospital. He's done thousands of these procedures with no mishaps and he is supposedly the best in our state so I think HIS abilities are fine. I think it's just a few of his staff that need to regroup and get their act together. On that note, I posted when it was still fresh and I was angry and frustrated so I'll cool off and talk to him and hopefully get better answers than I did at the office. Thanks again for yall letting me vent.

I was told at the seminar that the surgeon would be at this consultation..he said it himself. He would be there to "go over all the steps of the surgery of your choice and answer any questions". He used to be a general surgeon but now only does WLS so not sure if he had an emergency being reason for his absence. The doctor's office specifically..3 times..stated the diet was my insurance companys' requirement. I don't mind the 6 month diet but was just misinformed by someone and it's frustrating. 2 different people from their office told me "not to lose too much weight". When I told the nutritionist that someone in their office told me not to lose too much weight,,that is when she told me to let everything she told me about the diet to fly over my head..etc. My insurance does pay for the sleeve but I just don't think I could have half my stomach removed..it's just too invasive for me. I had my mind set on the band..I'm just questioning everything now and i hate that because I was so sure, so positive. But if my health keeps me from the having the surgery anyway,,guess it won't matter. I hope I haven't just paid hundreds of dollars for them to tell me I can do nothing. Of course I'm depressed and anxious. I'm carrying 135 extra pounds, I'm sick and this process is just so overwhelming. I didn't have this much trouble getting approved for disability. Thanks, Honk for listening to my venting.

I went to my consultation yesterday. First they have us all take a test in "scenario form" One of them was "My favorite poet is Robert Yvacick? Finished the test. Then had my blood work..no problems. Then I spoke with the nutritionist. She went over my list of things I ate the day before,,took about 5 minutes. I then spoke with the psych,,I failed his test. He said I was very depressed and anxious and he said I couldn't have surgery till I see a psychiatrist to have my meds adjusted and I needed to continue to see my therapist. I would need clearance from both to move forward with surgery. I then spoke with a girl who was to tell me about what I would owe the doctor. She said for me not to lose too much weight before my band or the insurance company may reconsider. I told her I thought that it was based on my initial weigh in when I had come in that morning and she said they look at that number but they'll look at the number after I do the 6 month diet. btw..Me, my husband and the HR lady at his worked spoke with 6 different reps from our insurance company and I wanted to make sure..they told us I did NOT have to do a 6 month pre op diet. This lady told me to talk to the insurance cooridinator about that. She then told me that she wasn't supposed to say but I should consider the sleeve because it works better than the band??? I thought that was odd. Then I sat in a waiting area for about an hour. 4 patients came in and they all complained about the band and said it didn't work!!! whew,,I just wanted to go home. So anyway, I then talked to the physician assistant, and she talked to me about my health, I have medical problems. We talked for a long time about everything about my health. She told me she didn't know if the doctor would do the surgery (5 hours into the consultation) She would have to talk to him and he would get back with me,sometime next week! So I didn't even get to talk to the surgeon. Then I talked to the nutritionist again and she went over the 6 month diet with me, and when she was done, I told her that someone in their office had told me that I didn't want to lose too much weight,,so she said, well just let this diet fly over your head and forget most of what I just said..don't lose too much weight..I have to tell you about this diet,,it's protocol. Then I talked to the insurance coordinator,,she argued about the 6 month diet so I gave up on that. In between all this, I sat and waited a long time in between,,I was there for 7 hours and I never got to eat. It was a crazy and disappointing experience. Now I don't even know if I get to have surgery. Sorry I just went on but I really needed to vent.

I go to my pre op appt tomorrow. During this visit, I will see the nutritionist for the first time. When they mailed me a packet to fill out for this appt, included was a form for the nutritionist. I'm supposed to list everything I had to eat in the past 24 hours. My question is, will it hurt the decision of my surgery if I have bad things on this list that I ate? I mean, I'm overweight for a reason and I'm not currently "dieting". But I'm hating to write down what I'm eating today, knowing that she/he will see what I'm eating and think, no wonder you're fat. I don't want them to think I'm not trying either so I don't know what to do. I don't want to lie either. I'm an experienced (unsuccessful) dieter, I know what I should and shouldn't have but I am kinda out of control on what I eat..the reason I'm getting the band. Any suggestions?

Zandile, that is so good to hear! I can't wait now. I think that is the exact thing I need to help me quit eating..as you put it..mindlessly. I never think before I eat anymore. When I did weight watchers, atkins or any other diet, I had to constantly remind myself as I was eating that I couldn't have certain foods or so much of it. And when I ended up eating it anyway to comfort me, I would feel guilty. But guilt is eventually repressed. If I would've had actual pain from eating that cupcake, I would've either thought long and hard on it or not given it a thought. The "tool" is starting to make much more sense to me. Thank you!

Oh wow..that's not right. They should've disclosed any out of pocket fees way in advanced. I was informed at the seminar of a program fee of 500.00, split into 2 payments..1 due at the consultation and the other before my surgery date (I don't have a date yet). I was told there would be out of pocket amounts due the day of my consultation that the insurance wouldn't cover. My consult will include labs, psych eval, nutritionist and surgeon..along with any questions for the insurance coordinator. Back in Feb. they mailed me a packet of info that included what I would need to pay before my surgery. I have to pay about 400.00 at my consult. I have a deductible I have to meet, co insurance amt and annual out of pocket that will be billed after the surgery. I would want specifics on what that "after care" includes. It might be for services you don't really need..(say if you have an emergency in the middle of the night, I would probably head to a nearest ER instead of calling my lapband surgeon). I'd ask if any of these fees are optional. You shouldn't have to pay any extra for the regular care that was to be included in the cost of the surgery. Good luck! I hope it all works out..sorry to ramble on but I absolutely hate surprises when it comes to money.lol With the economy the way it is..you have to plan.. You have 2 days, well I think that is insane!

I'm so sorry, just realized I had gotten a response to this. Thank you very much, that was very good info. I'm not really looking forward to mushies and such..I hope I can tolerate the textures. I have a hard time with that..but I'll adapt, I'm sure : )

I have friends that would fear this surgery would change me. That maybe I wouldn't be "one of them" anymore once I lost all the weight. You might reassure them,,in some way, that you will still be the same person when your thin as when you were overweight. You might also ask them what risks do they know that you don't know about? I'd try educating them. Sometimes when you include a person in your journey, they may just need that attention of being part of it. This is just what I would do to ease my friends' minds. But in the end, I have to do what's best for me, regardless. Good luck to you!

I called my insurance company today to ask a few questions about my benefits. When all was done, the respresentive said, I hope you don't mind me saying but my husband had lapband and to reassure you, he is doing fantastic. As long as you follow the rules, she told me I would do great. I thought that was really nice that she would share that. Anytime I've ever spoken with a rep on the phone with any company, I have never gotten such a personable response. I thought this was so encouraging and just wanted to share.

Thanks, everyone. Cheri, I agree and I am currently in therapy for various reasons so it's encouraging to hear that it helped you. Congrats on your awesome success! I will also be seeing a psychiatrist on the 10th, the day of my consult. She/he will be doing my pre surgery eval, hopefully they can give some insight along with the nutritionist to help with my eating habits..eating just because it's so good.

As I am one that is anxiously waiting for the whole process to take place..OMG..please don't cancel!!! When you regret it, it's not going to be easy to reschedule as you may have figured out if you read around this site. As everyone has already stated,,even some that have already had the surgery..it's ok to be scared. That is very normal. I think what made me finally decide I'm going to pursue this with a "no fear" attitude was when I went to the park last week and tried to walk. I have a form of muscular dystrophy on top of my weight plus alot of other health problems but as I walked at a snails pace around the circle, stopping often to rest, I heard snickers from teenagers as I would walk by. Then a skinny little thing ran past me..twice before I made it 1/4 of the way around. Then to top that off, an elderly couple briskly passed me and I heard the wife telling another passer by that her husband was doing so great. It was his 4th time around the trail and he had just had surgery and only had 1 lung. Then and there made me realize, I have got to do this. I cried my way back to my car feeling weak and tired, huffing a puffing. I hated myself and what I had become. I know it isn't going to cure every disease I have but it sure is going to make my quality of life so much better and I will be able to tolerate so much more than I can now..like enjoying activities with my children. Something as simple as climbing bleachers,,it's very embarrassing to be the one stuck in the "special section" during assemblies that involve my kids or grandkids. People don't know that I'm sick, they look past that and see a fat person first. I have so many reasons to do this and so few to not. Set yourself down and make a list of why you shouldn't and why you should have the surgery and this will probably help you get over some of the pre surgery jitters. Good luck and God bless!

I'm like Rainy, I want to hear about it all. I think if I know what's going on, chances are it can be taken care of promptly than to not know and alot of time go by before the problem is found out then it might be too late. With the list of my medical problems, I'll take the bad with the band over what I have going on anyday. I'm one of those that has high hopes that the band will not only help me look better but help improve some of my health problems. I am also glad to hear everyone remind us that the bad is probably bad but could be worse..but the good is oh so good and will only get better

I definitely think I'm an emotional eater, a binge eater (I don't make myself throw up) but I do overwhelm myself with loads of guilt. I also just love love love food and it is a friend to me for whatever reason. I guess because I can count on it. Maybe it's for life's disappointments, tragedies, mid-life..who knows? Each of you make very good points and will help me ponder WHY am I eating? I have a journal that I was writing in but I never have taken the time or even thought to write about my relationship with food. It's so odd to think that I have a relationship with something like food..for crying out loud! Why can't I be in love with an eliptical machine or treadmill?lol I was a little bummed that I may have to go through a 6 month pre op diet (I will find out on the 10th what will be expected of me) but maybe I need a little extra time to get these thoughts sorted and get on track about my future with food. Thanks, everyone! Because of this site, I'm learning so much and I've even become a little more patient.

I thought I was an emotional eater but now I don't know. I've heard so many on here say they think they have a bottomless pit for a stomach and I kinda feel that way too. I've heard people on here say that if you are an emotional eater, the band may not work for you. That has me thinking, should I even bother? It's also making me question,,am I an emotional eater..really..or am I just fat person with a big appetite...or maybe I'm both? I'm trying to find reasons to not be an emotional eater so that I can be happy with my decision to get the band. Does anyone have any views on this? I am a big over thinker, I really analyze things (I just realized the word "anal" is in that word)