Cleo's Mom

This is supposed to be a forum where you get information, tell you stories of success (or failures) and get support. People who are struggling are looking for support and some good suggestions to help them. There is absolutely NO GOOD REASON to do that in any way but a nice, polite, supportive way.
The whole thing about "free speech" is just an excuse for some to be rude.
Yes, anyone has the right to be on here and voice their opinion and anyone else has the right to call them out on being rude.
It reminds me of blaming the victim (in this case calling them thin skinned) - remember all the fat jokes that we were supposed to laugh at because if we didn't then we "couldn't take a joke"?
I call it like I see it and rude is rude. Don't try to dress it up as tough love or blame the person it is directed at.

I find chicken breasts too dry for me, too (I have the band) and always use the thighs. Plus, I think they taste better, too.

My understanding is that all forums on here are open to all members who are free to post their opinions as you are yours.
Neither I nor anyone else posted fears or misconstrued risks. I simply stated what I would do and I stand by my statement. People are free to have their surgeries anywhere they wish, as am I.

@@losinghope15
My suggestion to you is to call your surgeon's office and get copies of everything - all of your pre-and post op tests - most especially each operative report - every time they cut you open. Create your own timeline of when and what happened. Keep copies of all your overdue bills and your financial situation, including losing your job. You might need this for future litigation should it come to that. You've been in misery for 8 months and this is unacceptable, IMO.
I think the suggestion to call various agencies is a good one. Start with SS disability and then try the other ones suggested. food banks, churches, etc.. all good ideas.
You shouldn't have to put up with the pain and the financial problems both. Seek help and good luck.
Your post is a reminder that complication might only happen in 1% but if you're that 1% statistics don't matter.

@@losinghope15
My suggestion to you is to call your surgeon's office and get copies of everything - all of your pre-and post op tests - most especially each operative report - every time they cut you open. Create your own timeline of when and what happened. Keep copies of all your overdue bills and your financial situation, including losing your job. You might need this for future litigation should it come to that. You've been in misery for 8 months and this is unacceptable, IMO.
I think the suggestion to call various agencies is a good one. Start with SS disability and then try the other ones suggested. food banks, churches, etc.. all good ideas.
You shouldn't have to put up with the pain and the financial problems both. Seek help and good luck.
Your post is a reminder that complication might only happen in 1% but if you're that 1% statistics don't matter.

This is supposed to be a forum where you get information, tell you stories of success (or failures) and get support. People who are struggling are looking for support and some good suggestions to help them. There is absolutely NO GOOD REASON to do that in any way but a nice, polite, supportive way.
The whole thing about "free speech" is just an excuse for some to be rude.
Yes, anyone has the right to be on here and voice their opinion and anyone else has the right to call them out on being rude.
It reminds me of blaming the victim (in this case calling them thin skinned) - remember all the fat jokes that we were supposed to laugh at because if we didn't then we "couldn't take a joke"?
I call it like I see it and rude is rude. Don't try to dress it up as tough love or blame the person it is directed at.

Just curious - what do you think is going to happen to your weight after your band is removed? Did you discuss this decision with your surgeon before you had the band put in? I know people have the band removed due to complications or revision to another WLS but almost anyone who got theirs removed and not revised to another WLS put all the weight back on.
I have never heard of anyone who got the band as a temporary fix with the idea of having it removed after hitting goal. If it took the band to get you to goal what makes you think you will stay there after it's removed and your stomach goes back to normal capacity? These people that you heard of who had theirs removed after goal - did they stay at goal?
I guess I am just stunned at your answer as I've never heard this before and am surprised a surgeon would agree to due it for that reason.

@@losinghope15
My suggestion to you is to call your surgeon's office and get copies of everything - all of your pre-and post op tests - most especially each operative report - every time they cut you open. Create your own timeline of when and what happened. Keep copies of all your overdue bills and your financial situation, including losing your job. You might need this for future litigation should it come to that. You've been in misery for 8 months and this is unacceptable, IMO.
I think the suggestion to call various agencies is a good one. Start with SS disability and then try the other ones suggested. food banks, churches, etc.. all good ideas.
You shouldn't have to put up with the pain and the financial problems both. Seek help and good luck.
Your post is a reminder that complication might only happen in 1% but if you're that 1% statistics don't matter.

I've been following your posts and I thank you for a new perspective. There are those on all 3 WLS forums who swear by their procedure and are happy as clams.
Your posts is a stark reminder that not all WLS works the same for all people. Just go to the complication forums for each. There are no guarantees.
I have an unfilled band (got in 2008, unfilled in 2009), was considering the sleeve but decided against it for many reasons. I hate my band and hated it from the beginning. It never did one thing for me in terms of weight loss, reaching satiety, but it did cause shoulder pain, pressure & pain and getting stuck.
When you get WLS it is a crap shoot. Will you be the one who says - it was a breeze, little pain, losing weight fast, everything's great? Or the one who says - I have a leak, am in the hospital with abscess, on IV feeding, or I have chronic Constipation or diarrhea or worsening GERD. For those who have amazing results, see 100 or more pounds lost, comorbidities disappear - they are willing to put up with the problems or side effects. Their life has improved more than it has deteriorated.
I am 64, the surgeon says I could lose up to 45 pounds with the sleeve but there would be no NSAIDS for life (I have arthritis and chronic back problems) with possible increased GERD. I don't believe the benefits outweigh the risks in my case.
I, too, would never suggest the band to anyone. I always hated mine. But I also wouldn't give a blanket endorsement to the sleeve. It is still new and remember when everyone was big on the band before we knew then what we know now? Who is to say what the long term case is with the sleeve?
I think your post shows that there are always two sides to WLS and they aren't always both good.

I can so identify with what everyone says here. My original lap band surgery was done by an inexperienced general surgeon in 2008 ,who along with his partner, took over a bariatric practice of a retiring surgeon.
I first met with his partner (an emaciated runner - you know the type)and when he asked why I wanted the surgery I said to reduce the chances of cancer . He said you already have cancer (breast cancer dx in 2002 - successfully treated). Wow, what an answer. Especially when there is a lot of scientific evidence to show that weight loss reduces cancer risk for many types of cancer.
I got switched over to the other doctor when his schedule got too busy. The nutritionist that I had to meet for 6 months had an office filled with fake food. All the boxes of lean cuisine, smart choice, etc.. and plastic hamburgers, eggs, etc..to show us what correct food sizes were.
I followed all the rules and lost 60 pounds pre surgery. (I went from 250 to 190). After the band was put in - the surgeon wanted me to lose 10-15 pounds in the next 3 weeks without a fill. FIRST RED FLAG. This showed to me that he had unrealistic expectations about obesity and weight loss.
When I didn't lose this much weight, I got the "Come to Jesus" talk. Then he filled me with 1.5 cc (in a 4cc band - I was told it was a 10cc band). I got stuck with salsibury steak (lean cusine) and he told me to throw that away it was all fat. The nutritionist was there and I said her room is filled with these dinners and they should be on the same page.
Then he overfilled me with 1.5 more cc and when nothing was going down he ordered an upper GI and saw the mess and took the 1.5 cc out. That is when I went to another bariatric surgeon for a second opinion who said: You have a 4cc, not a 10 cc band and your weight loss in 6 months is about what we would expect in a year. However I had a very bad stuck experience in 2009 requiring a trip to the ER where all the fill was removed and that is where I am now.
I don't believe that there are a lot in the bariatric field that know about the genetics of obesity or the role hunger hormones play.
My paternal grandmother who was born in the late 1890's was a big, obese woman of eastern European descent and by all medical standards - obese. I take after her, as did my dad. She was born when there was no processed food, no fast food, people cooked from scratch. This is often blamed for our obesity. Yes, for some. But obesity is a disease and should be treated as such.
We don't blame the victim with other diseases. It should be that way for obesity.

Here is the original post that was the cause of this thread starting:
Posted March 14, 2015 - 2:39 PM


#1 I have been down lately, and questioning my choice. When I go there, I realize that there is no going back. Stomach is gone, can't come back. Then I am even more depressed. food, food everywhere, and am not allowed to eat it. I think of all the things that I have enjoyed, and wonder if I will ever make the transition to enjoyment elsewhere. I feel like such a "weirdo" not being able to eat a typical, "normal" portion. I get a kids meal and can eat less than half. I keep telling everyone that this won't be forever, but I really don't know if that is true. This week I have "only" lost 2 lbs. I question if it is because I have added "real" food to my diet. Then I know how rediculous this is, since I have only added the average of 300 - 400 calories. Then I wonder if I am in "starvation mode." Does that happen with wls


She says she is depressed over the loss of her stomach, not being able to eat normal portions - in other words - she is having some doubts and feeling depressed about her choice. This is perfectly normal. Many who go through WLS experience this sense of loss and frustration.
She later clarified that it was a Red Robin kids meal of chicken skewers and steamed broccoli but some jumped to conclusions (a new thread she started where she explained again).
But here is what she got in return about the comments made to her post(s):
-She is thin skinned
-Overly affected (by comments)
-Too fragile
-Comments affected her stability
-Such an emotional reaction
-Weak minded
-Mental health not up to par
-Uncontrollable bout of depression (about comments)
-Off kilter
-Can't handle the heat then get out of the kitchen
-Depressed because someone said something mean.
-If the only thing you have ever or ever will love is fast food then, yeah, you made the wrong choice. IS EATING ALL YOU EVER DID? or think about life at McDonald's with a kids meal and pout.
-I suggest you go back to your surgeon and have them immediately reattach your stomach.
-She had surgery just a few weeks ago and you think she should just go ahead and have it - why don't you just drive her McDonald's while you're at it?
Wow! There is nothing in her post that even remotely comes close to the inaccurate, not to mention insensitive comments that were made.
She was not depressed over comments but over the loss of her stomach and the loss of food and fearful she would never eat normal foods again.
But just take a look at the comments she got and didn't deserve. And to make matters worse, those who made them defend them and if someone is insulted by them (she didn't even say that) then of course that's their fault because they're....well see above

I agree with this, especially the part about ulterior motives, boosting their own egos and self esteem and narcissism. The whole post is well said.

My paternal grandmother was born in the late 1890's and was obese by any medical standards. She was a big eastern European woman and lived during a time when there weren't fast food restaurants, processed foods, etc.. The women of her generation cooked from scratch and worked hard all day as homemakers. They got plenty of exercise. So obesity cannot always be blamed on the foods we have today or what we do or don't eat (processed vs whole foods, etc.). While that certainly plays a part- what is being left out is the genetics of obesity. How many people on here have already posted about multiple people in their family being obese? When identical twins have been raised apart - they will have the traits like each other rather than their adopted family (nature vs nurture). In other words, they would both be obese while their families were thin (or visa versa).
Not everyone can afford fresh, whole foods. Processed and fast foods are cheaper. Not everyone has insurance or the money to cover WLS. Not everyone has a support system.
I was a thin person up until about age 30. So, I don't have the experience that those on here who have been overweight/obese all their lives and were made fun of.
My point is that there are many ways people became obese and each person has to find a way to address it in their own time and their own way when it is right for them.

Ah, the plastic food. I spent 6 months (pre lap band) going to a nutritionist whose office was filled with plastic food and empty boxes of diet dinners. Yes, all it takes is just eating those foods and thinness will be yours! Like we're stupid and haven't tried all of that.

I survived breast cancer (so far) and was diagnosed 11 months before my husband was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. So we were both battling cancer at the same time. I took care of him the whole time here at home and was with him when he died. But we raised two beautiful children and I now have 3 beautiful grandchildren that my husband never got to see.

Be very cautious with Barrett's. Personally, I would not have the sleeve with Barrett's. My husband had Barrett's esophagus (did not have WLS), took acid blockers (PPI's) and had yearly endoscopies and went from one year with no dysplasia to esophageal cancer the next and died two years later despite being caught early and given a good prognosis. Esophageal cancer is a very difficult cancer to treat. His treatment was to remove his esophagus and pull up his stomach to create a new one. Can that be done with the sleeve? Ask your surgeon that question.
There's a reason some surgeons won't do the sleeve on patients with Barrett's esophagus.

There was a sign posted by the scale in a doctor's office that read...
"This scale can only give you a numeric reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. It cannot measure character, beauty, talent, purpose, personality, strength or love."
Wow! I think this is a powerful message reminding us that the scale is just a number that we can use to track our progress, and not something we should use to measure our self-worth on a daily basis.

@@losinghope15
My suggestion to you is to call your surgeon's office and get copies of everything - all of your pre-and post op tests - most especially each operative report - every time they cut you open. Create your own timeline of when and what happened. Keep copies of all your overdue bills and your financial situation, including losing your job. You might need this for future litigation should it come to that. You've been in misery for 8 months and this is unacceptable, IMO.
I think the suggestion to call various agencies is a good one. Start with SS disability and then try the other ones suggested. food banks, churches, etc.. all good ideas.
You shouldn't have to put up with the pain and the financial problems both. Seek help and good luck.
Your post is a reminder that complication might only happen in 1% but if you're that 1% statistics don't matter.

@@losinghope15
My suggestion to you is to call your surgeon's office and get copies of everything - all of your pre-and post op tests - most especially each operative report - every time they cut you open. Create your own timeline of when and what happened. Keep copies of all your overdue bills and your financial situation, including losing your job. You might need this for future litigation should it come to that. You've been in misery for 8 months and this is unacceptable, IMO.
I think the suggestion to call various agencies is a good one. Start with SS disability and then try the other ones suggested. food banks, churches, etc.. all good ideas.
You shouldn't have to put up with the pain and the financial problems both. Seek help and good luck.
Your post is a reminder that complication might only happen in 1% but if you're that 1% statistics don't matter.

ill also say after reading all these posts, is that people, you can defend the surgeries done in Mexico, but when you tell others not to be biased, and then you show a bias yourself by overly defending them, it only makes you look more foolish. The undeniable facts are that hospitals in mexico are NOT up to par with united states standards. If you are in the medical field you know this to be true. You can check with the W.H.O and find it out as well. To say you have the same chances as if you were in a level 1 , surgical trauma equipped united states hospital as you are in a clinic in mexico is absolutely ludicrous. Now does that mean you cannot have a great experience in Mexico with your surgery? Absolutely not. But it does mean there is the added chance that a high-risk patient will not get that lifesaving care that they may require. Sorry that is simple truth, it cannot be disputed by anything except emotional rhetoric. Now I am extremely lucky, oh and my qualification for my discourse. I was an Army Medic and Paramedic doing rescue in Massachusetts for 11 years. I was in the medical insurance field for 4 years qualifying physicians as exemplary caregivers for one of the largest insurers in the world. Now what can be debated is the percentage of increased risk that exists between the US and other countries. Medical Tourism sites would have you believe it to be zero. This is not the truth, sorry. However due to the inability of foreign governments to provide accurate data , you will never know. In the US you can obtain any lawsuits , deaths and the surgical record for any surgeon , and that is LAW. ( contact your local A branch of the AMA for more information) Now again I am lucky I live 8 miles from Boston where we have 3 level 1 trauma centers and 2 Level 1A trauma centers. Oh and by the way thy do not open the border for ambulances. That i can assure you. you do have a special lane to go into , but they still check your bus, ( sorry our term) and any medications on the US banned import list ( your drug kit) must be sealed on the way across the border. Ambulance from mexico must be stopped and the patient transferred to a vehicle on the us side. S it takes you some time to coordinate this. As a result the transfer time from a hospital in Tijuana to a hospital in California is not fast. I have many friends who make extra money as transfer medics in the companies that specialize in these calls. Now that being said. the facts as as is said many times. do your homework, if your accepting of the risk level, that that facility is for you, if not, then you move on. Be well and safe all.

@@Erica Brownlee
He is just going to do the bypass with no reason? No further testing done? Nothing? Aren't you concerned about this? Did you ask any questions or get a copy of your sleeve operative report?

It is not libel if it is the truth @@Soonerjoseph

@@Band07
I am so glad things went well. I have been following your posts about your difficulties with both the lap band and the sleeve. I hope the MGB works out for you.
I think your experience underlines the fact that no WLS is perfect and each carries its own risks and results. And the results for one person are not necessarily the results of someone else. The complications forums certainly prove that. You decided to get the sleeve because of all those who said it was "great" and your experience was that it wasn't.
Good luck to you and I hope you have much success and will let us know.

I agree with those who say that we have a LOT to learn yet about the human body with regard to obesity. I don't believe that all naturally thin people eat little (and healthy) and exercise a lot. Many thin people stay thin/normal weight by smoking, too. While I do believe food is a big factor, I also believe that much of obesity is genetic. So, until they figure out that factor there is WLS.
I also agree with the fat cell theory - that you have them at birth or develop them during pregnancy (another bonus for us women!!) and once there they can shrink but not disappear (unless through liposuction as the poster said) always ready to be filled.
I also believe in the set point weight - that your body desires to get to a weight it is comfortable with - where you struggle trying to lose beyond it.
But everyone has their own unique experiences with weight, weight loss and metabolism.