Not drinking while you eat is not downing a glass of Water, you can pour yourself a glass of wine, enjoy it before the meal, and sip it during. that's not going to have much effect on anything. I never drank soda very much so didnt/dont miss that. And I can eat almost anything, just in much smaller quantities. My life hasnt changed in that regard, I entertain, go out etc - BUT (and this is a big but) you need to let go of the importance of food in your life. There's a fundamental difference between fat people and effortlessly thin people and that's that thin people enjoy their food, but it has nowhere near as much importance as it does for someone who's gotten fat. They dont sit there worrying about what others will think about what they eat, they dont rush in so that they get their share, they dont worry if they're out of the room while the donuts are brought out, because hey, its only a donut and you can get one anytime you reall want one, right?
Make no mistake, to lose weight and keep it off, you MUST change. Your eating habits and approaches have made you fat. Whether you get a band or not, you cant continue to be the same or your weight will only continue to increase. I worried exactly like you are doing before I realised that one fact and then decided that I would go with the band to make sure I really DID change. But it took me several false starts to feel ready to do that.
Now, my life is a new normal. There's some things I cant do or eat or whatever, and over the years, that's just become normal to me, no mourning for old times. And now I'm doing it again as I've had major bowel surgery a year ago (lost quite a lot of my plumbing) and now have to relearn how to eat and manage a much shorter digestive system. I would be desperate if I hadnt been through such a change before when I got my band and know that eventually, it will just become normal to me.