why oh why

Why am I struggling so much to lose weight? This is crazy!! I am not really sure what to do or say. I feel like people are looking at me going I knew she couldn't keep it off, or something like that. I haven't been to church all year because I am afraid of what people will say. Isn't that a strange statement to make about church!! I really need to get my shit together. I think I have so many things out of place, that everything suffers.