Impatient, as always

In my classic OCD way, I am always impatient for things to get going. I focus on what I want to have happen and then I keep fixating on that until it either happens or I finally realize that it isn't going to. Well, no suprise that I am impatient to be fully functional after the surgery. It is day three and even though I have made remarkable progress - no nausea, no narcotics, able to walk around and do things - I still want to be ready for everything. I want to start riding my bike. The bike that has been languishing in the garage for seven years. I want to sleep through the night without feeling the soreness of my stomach wounds. I want the weight to just fall off of me like so much magic. This morning, my weight was up four pounds from yesterday. Now I know there is no way that I gained any weight - it is fluid for recovering from the surgery - but the old voice of impatience rings out and wants the weight to hurry up and come off. Part of this journey is going to be getting my head to just go along on the journey and not be fixating on the end. I need time to relearn how to be me - how to eat again, how to exercise, how to relate to my family and friends as the "new me". Patience is going to be my watch word for awhile. This journey is just beginning; I better settle in for the long haul.

Hi Cherrybomb,

I can totally relate to your worries in this entry. I had surgery 6 days ago. I still have sharp pain when trying to get up from the couch. I still take liquid Vicodin as needed. Not so much as after first 3 days.

Keep your chin up!