Is this forever?

I am on day two since my surgery. Yesterday, when I came home from the surgery, all I could think about was things I couldn't eat. I started to doubt myself, doubt that I had made the right decision, doubted that I could stand having this thing in my body. I tried not to think about it and worked on losing myself in something else so I wouldn't dwell. Today though, I really started to settle into the idea of my new life. My sister said to me, "Congratulations, it is your new birthday." And I guess, that really is a true statement. My life is going to be very different from here on out. Not just the change in eating habits (the dos and don'ts) but in who I am. I am excited to start dropping weight so I can find my inner athelete. I want to participate in the Danskin Triathlon next year. I want to be physically strong, I want to run. Those are things that I couldn't accomplish carrying around my weight. Now, those things seem closer than they ever were before. I want to be a better parent for my son - more active, more willing to take changes and try new things. I want to find some inner peace and tap into serenity, improving the quality of my life and decreasing my stress.

I don't know if the band will be with me forever, but I hope that the lifestyle changes will be. I am excited to discover who I am behind this mask of pounds. Excited and a little scared.