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Cherrybomb's Journal

A blog by Cherrybomb in General

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Entries in this blog

Good day for an NSV

My weight hasn't changed all week, which considering the amount of calories I am consuming seems unbelievable. So getting dressed this morning delivered a much needed NSV. My "skinny" jeans - hardly skinny but jeans that have never fit well - feel pretty darn good and a shirt that I tried on a week ago suddenly has room to spare. The shirt really threw me because I had tried it on just a bit ago and decided it made me look pregnant. Now, it is loose in the stomach and doesn't leave an imprint ac

Girly girl

It's funny how when I start to focus on my weight and losing it, I also start looking at my appearance and making changes. The nail polish comes out, the tweezers go to work, even tubes of self-bronzer, liquid eyeliner, and exfoliant find there way back into my life. Instead of buying Real Simple magazine, I pick up Vogue or Elle. Instead of searching out comfy sweat pants, I'm looking for fitted jackets and fancy bras. I wonder why, for me, the girly girl side of my personality really doesn't c

Minigoals (well, they are mostly maxigoals)

I have a long way to go to get down to my "goal" weight, but I have a list of things I'd like to do that will be so rewarding. Here they are: 1) Get down below 300. My first priority 2) Wear the cute SJP Bitten jeans hanging in my closet as motivation 3) Cross my legs easily and comfortably 4) Buy bras at Victoria's Secret 5) Take up new exercise activities - running, bellydancing, ballet aerobics; get active and like it. 6) Go skiing 7) Be smaller (alot smaller) than my husband 8) Fit e

Hunger...body and mind

Yesterday, I was hungry. I mean full fledged, nauseous from the rumbling, hungry. Nothing seemed to help. Not protein shakes, not yogurt, not popsicles, not soup, not juice, not a latte - nothing. I was so sick by the end of the day from not eating something solid that all I could do was lay down on the sofa and wish I had never had the surgery. Not even a week since I received the band and I felt so low I didn't know if I could get up. Of course, factor in the fact that my grandmother's house b

The long and winding road...

Physically, I'm feeling great (only three days out from surgery) but mentally, I had a hard time last night. I started doubting again. I wondered if I rushed into this decision. My hubby valiantly tried to reassure me but honestly, I was scared. Scared of what, I really can't say. I guess I was afraid that I would have a bunch of complications and need surgery again. Or that I would be some kind of freak, having to eat jello the rest of my life. I know none of this is likely but Fear and I have

Impatient, as always

In my classic OCD way, I am always impatient for things to get going. I focus on what I want to have happen and then I keep fixating on that until it either happens or I finally realize that it isn't going to. Well, no suprise that I am impatient to be fully functional after the surgery. It is day three and even though I have made remarkable progress - no nausea, no narcotics, able to walk around and do things - I still want to be ready for everything. I want to start riding my bike. The bike th

Is this forever?

I am on day two since my surgery. Yesterday, when I came home from the surgery, all I could think about was things I couldn't eat. I started to doubt myself, doubt that I had made the right decision, doubted that I could stand having this thing in my body. I tried not to think about it and worked on losing myself in something else so I wouldn't dwell. Today though, I really started to settle into the idea of my new life. My sister said to me, "Congratulations, it is your new birthday." And I gue

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