So, after my long winded rant yesterday I took some action. I think I did almost everything on my list. I went to CVS, Dunkys, the Harvest Coop, put the sticker on my car, cleaned out my car, sent my USMLE thingy, Icleaned my kitchen, bathroom and living room. Emptied out the nasty pots from the fridge, ran the dishwasher, and washed my towels, pillowcases and comforter cover. I cooked a decent dinner, AND had Rachel over for a few drinks and a chat. So all in all, I think I did quite well. Today I took a trip to Target and got some new pillows, an awesome polkadot top with big circles and a ruched waist, very nice. I also cleaned up after myself on several occasions, which only took a minute. I shined my sink just now. I guess the whole flylady theory is sticking. I kind of realized earlier this evening, that very few of the things I insist on doing on a regular basis are good for me. When I think about Pete, or Chrissy or many of the other somewhat normal people I know. They all had things they sort of insisted on doing. Pete had to go to the gym regardless of whether or not we'd seen each other in a while. Chrissy had to do laundry, had to lay her clothes to dry on a rack, had to empty the cat box. I HAVE TO, by my own insistence, do very litte. The things I do get stubborn about aren't very good for me. I HAVE to sit on my ass all night at smoke and watch tv, I'll even pass on plans to do this at times. I HAVE TO eat junky crap in too large quantities, band or no band. I don't have good regular habits. I can think of a couple - I usually stay in touch with friends, call once in a while, check in - one up on Chrissy there. But after that, not so much. I don't "have to" put on face cream every night because it's something I want to do for myself. I don't "have to" exercise "cause it makes me feel less stressed, or makes me feel good, etc." I dont "have to" take care of nagging errands because I want the weight off my shoulders. I have developed very few beneficial habits. Very few. I want more of them. I was reading some posts of other december bandsters today and was seeing how much they had lost in roughly the same time span since my surgery. I didn't see anyone as low as myself. I really have accomplished something, but haven't tried very hard at all! There isn't much I've denied myself. I don't do the protein thing. I don't avoid ice cream or other high calorie things. ie the au bon pain a thon of bakery. I drink when I eat, I don't exercise. All in all, it's kind of a miracle that I've lost anything at all. I can say that since I've been back on the synthroid bandwagon, the scale seems more cooperative. I don't know why I stopped taking it for so long. Dumb. So, anyway, reading the posts you see how much success those who exericise have had. I did it for a few weeks. It wasn't that bad. I don't know why I can't keep it up. I didn't hate it, I didn't feel super embarassed. Once I was there I always wanted to stay. In addition, I have a perfectly good recumbent bike in my bedroom collecting dust. What if I always did that first when I came home? Even just thirty minutes a day would have to give me something in return. It's right there, I can watch tv, I can be in my underwear for petes sake, if I wanted to. I don't. But really, the gravity of the couch is overwhelming. Maybe that's why I've avoided the cable thing. Realistically, I could afford it, but I just don't need another excuse to sit in front of the television. That's all I do. Good lord, Sadie is on a rant of her own right now, howling away. I think it has something to do with the cat outside who must be in heat or something. Regardless, I digress. So.... things learned this weekend:

Cleaning up is hard to do.

Doing little things every day to avoid a mess in the first place is better.

I am not working with the band.

I ate way too much Crackin Oat Bran

Being productive makes me feel better about myself.

Having someone just stop by and having things look nice is great

Having an organized life whether someone sees it or not is better

I have one call left with Kelly Hoagland, I'd say she's VP of bad calls

I have one 12 hour period in the daytime with Leena, she's the Prez

After that, all my calls are with Cathy Gonzales, Liz or Carmen, and no more weekend calls. So, basically I just have to get through my medium call tomorrow, my large call Sunday, and the rest is smooth sailing. I can pretty much feel secure in hoping that the rest of them will only require as needed ED work.

Other stresses: Next years schedule. I'm fairly sure I will get either Faulkner split or BIDMC first. I think she'll stick me with the Faulkner split. This is good because: Less time at BIDMC days, always on the eight person half, get my float either out of the way at the beginning or saved up to the end. Benefits either way I suppose. Close commute.

Bad because: Celeste

What else: Feel bad about binge today, def was a binge in the true old days way. I ate over a box of cereal today. Not good. I knew it would happen. I need a fill, I think I would consider scheduling one for next week. Would like to avoid the TOM though, that makes things soooo much tighter.

Need to remember mothers day is approaching.

I think that's it. I want to go to bed now feeling peaceful and proud of what I did this weekend.

The scale said 49 this morning, not expecting the same tomorrow.

So: You had a productive weekend, a little bit of social time. You just have to go on call tomorrow night and then you have all of Tuesday off. Then Wednesday is a half day, as is Thurs unless Erin wants to go. Then it's friday, a day off, then Sunday. When Sunday is over (well actually at eight oclock when Cathy comes on, you are all good!!!!) You then get monday off and you are past call hell.

Second year definitely sounds hard, but at the same time - I really look forward to being master of my own work. Not needing to come to anyones call who gets to tell me what to do and when to go to bed. At least I'll be the boss of my time, even if it's all spent awake.

OK, off to bed. Please exercise when you get home post call. I dont really want to set difinitve weight loss goals, but If I'm at fifty now(who knows after today). I'd like May to be a banner month. I want to see the thirties early this summer. I think my realistic goal would be thirty five by the end of first year. That would be a fifty lb total loss, and it would put me back to a recognizable place in my past. Its also shooting distance to one of my first major goals. That means fifteen lbs in approximately 7 weeks. So the two lbs a week rule, which is completely doable. If I could hit thirty five by June 19, then my next goal would be two fifteen. Another 8-9 weeks for that would put me there by the end of summer. Then I spend my fall getting past ONEderland. Oh the possibilites, and the fact that they're both realistic and maintainable now is such a relief.

Goodnight!:clap2: :notagree