I had always been big...all through school..always size 16+....senior year 2001 i was a good size 22....2003 i was a size 24 and by 2005 i was a size 32......I was always made fun of.....i gained almost 100 pounds in 3 years from being on the depo shot(birth control)so i got off of that...... and then getting pregnant. By 2005 I was at my worst.

I walked into the Dr's office thinking I was only 360 back in April of 2005. When I got on the scale it read 380...I almost died. I cried in his office because I was so ashamed. Ashamed over 20lbs!!!! I had researched the band and felt because I had a daughter it would be the safest surgery for me. I am only 24 and was 22 at the time. I thought this was going to be the FIX.....the thing to change my life. I thought that there was no way anyone or anything could stop me from losing weight after I had surgery.

I went through all the tests....and got all the required medical paperwork and convinced some family members to pitch in for my surgery. I set the date and started my pre-op diet!

From that point on I should have known I was going to be a mess. I was supposed to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks because my liver needed to shrink for surgery. So i ate everything they told me to for the first 3 days and BAM....the feeling set in.....I WANTED AN ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER FROM JACK N THE BOX AND I WANTED IT NOW! I couldn't get it off my mind....i was thinking about it allllllll day.....i went to bed thinking about it...and the next morning i went and got one. I figured...what could ONE double cheese burger with double cheese and mayo possibly do......well...it did nothing to the surgery process but it really broke the frame of mind. Before the 2 weeks was up i had eatin 2 not one but TWO ultimate cheeseburgers and a few chicken nuggets. Why? Why couldn't I just do the PRE SURGERY diet?

June 8th 2005------So surgery day came....and went.....all went well no complications.....i was on soft food in the beginning and I started to eat Eggs for breakfast....but my eggs HAD to have cheese and butter in them....HELLO!!! What was I thinking.....I remember getting my first fill and at this point I had almost lost 40lbs. 20pre-op and 20 post-op. It was amazing.......

About 3 months out(2 months after my 1st fill) I started to become familiar with my band and how much I could and could not eat. I realized that when i would eat too much, i drank a little bit, and it would make the food pass and then i would feel sooooo much better. I never exercised...keep in mind...(maybe got into the pool like 10 times the whole summer) and i was preparing for my wedding which was September 17th 2005. I was so stressed because my weightloss had pretty much STOPPED......I was craving foods like never before and started to eat and drink at the same time...BIG MISTAKE......i was eating at least double what I should have. So I went and had ANOTHER fill. This slowed me down...but still I was not losing ANY weight. I remember eating my first fried chicken after my fill and like trying to manipulate my band into letting me eat more by taking one bite and then drinking....it was the worst thing in the world i could have EVER done.

A year after my band was put in I was only 20lbs total lost (which means i gained 20 back) and I was so angry...I promised myself I was going to try and fix things and make it better....So much had happened that year....2006....we bought a house, my husbands dad died of cancer, my husband was leaving for weeks at a time for work...and i was home ALONE with my daughter. I had no energy to keep the house clean(and i still dont) but i would sit and mope.....and EAT.....I would make excuses to people who asked me WHY i hadn't lost any weight. I told them all that it was a slow process and that i had lost 40 pounds(lied to them).

This year, Jan 2007...I was just sitting at dinner with my husband and looked down and noticed i had a 12oz strip steak, baked potato loaded....and mashed potatos loaded on my plate. I ate all of it. my band was NOT going to stop me. I also ate bread before that.......and drank sweat tea....

in Feb07 I was online playing around and saw an ad for a weightloss show. Primetime...suppose to be JUST like the Biggest Loser....I thought...hmmmm I'll just fill out the app for shits and giggles.....well they responded and wanted me to send them a tape....so i did.

Then in march they had me get my band completely UNFILLED and then flew me out to LA and put me through med tests and interviews,THEY BOUGHT ME 2 PLANE SEATS because i was too big to fit in the plane chairs on my own....pretty sad huh,(cant say much more because they made me sign all kinds of disclosures) They told me it was a show that will be on ABC and told me i would be away from my family for 10 weeks. I thought....this is the chance i have been waiting for.

They made me think i was going....for weeks after the interview I was getting called and asked follow up questions and told i was in the top 4....then on March 31 i was called and told the network did not choose me. I was DEVISTATED.............like someone should have just shot me right there. I was so upset...i cried the whole way home(we were out to eat of course) and my husband looked at me and said...why dont you just do it on your own?

Ummmmm DUH right...? So about a week went by and I had done a real examination of what i have done wrong and how i have basically cheated myself out of my life! On Easter i saw my family and noticed how no one said i looked good anymore...that's because i didnt.....i looked worse...heavy as can be....and that night i sent an email to my family and decide that enough is enough.

Im exercising daily...NO EXCUSES...i posted before/after pictures on my walls in my house of other people who have had the band. I put sayings all over the house saying "whats ur excuse now" and i told my husband that enough is enough. So we decided to start our weightloss exercise on the 9th.....on the 10th I went and had my band RE-filled and since the 10th I have lost 10lbs......unbelievable huh!!!

So hopefully all this will inspire SOMEONE before it happens to them. Let my "GAIN" be your "LOSS".

Good luck everyone!

Krystal

Krystal,

Thanks for sharing you story. I was banded in 2003. At first I had good success. I had lost 75 lbs. I started to learn how to cheat the band. Then I had a slip. I have been completely unfilled since 2006. I have gained back 45 lbs. I feel horrible about myself latey. I decided to go get another fill, which I will on 4/16. I just do not know what to eat! I truly do not know what to eat as a banded person. I know bread, potatoes, cokes and ice cream are not my friends! It is just me and my daughter in the house and she is leaving for college so I do not really cook and we end up at the fast food places alot. The exercise is not a problem with me. I do a spin class 3x a week, a pilates/yoga 2x a week and a ultimate conditioning class once a week. It's the food that is my problem. I have decided to tell everyone I know that I am getting refilled in hopes they will hold me accountable. I should also mention I cannot eat fish. yuck!! Any thoughts would be appreciated. I do not want to fail again. I do not have insurance so this surgery was an out of pocket expense and they also makes me feel horrible that I have failed the 1st go around.