A week ago, I went for an appointment to check in and hoping to get my surgery date. My stats looked great - lost another 7 lbs! We talked about some risks and went over what still needed to be done to submit to my insurance company. I have completed everything, they just had not received the letter from my psych evaluation yet. I'd not written out my daily food/exercise logs, so I'd need to print out my logs from MFP. Because I needed those things we scheduled a couple of extra weeks out from his normal 30 days. By Wednesday, I'd turned everything in & sent a copy of the psych evaluation. The office needs a couple of days to compile everything, so I'm guessing my case will be submitted today or tomorrow. I'm hoping for a quick approval & not even thinking of a denial. I don't see how they could deny me. I've done the hard work, I've made progress on changing my lifestyle. I meet all of their criteria and am still over the 50 BMI threshold to waive the 6 months documented dieting. I can't think of a single reason to not be approved on the first go-round. Still, I'm so scared that I won't be. Everything has seemed to go so smoothly, I'm just waiting for a bump in the road to make it all fall miserably. I'm trying to be calm on the exterior when actually, anxiety is reeling on the inside.

When I can focus on the positive, I am so excited and happy for what is to come. I actually have a date to look forward to. I'm counting down the days til November 10th. I'm so ready, yet I try to contain my excitement so maybe it won't be such a disappointment if something falls through.

I did "come out" to the world via Facebook late last week. I was overwhelmed by the support and love that my friends and family showed. I didn't really expect to have so many stop by my wall to comment and like, but it was blowing up my phone for the entire day. I never wanted to hide the fact that I am having surgery. I was, apprehensive about negative feedback. I should have known better - I have wonderful family and friends. The one not-positive message I got was from someone that I don't even know. She claims to know my husband, but even he says he doesn't remember her from high school. She recently added me (and him) out of the blue. I don't know where people who have no knowledge of your life or your struggles get off pushing their ideals onto someone they've never met. I realize I put my business onto social media and I will get responses - and I was prepared for negative and positive. I was not prepared to be told to rethink my decision because I could lose the weight without surgery by a complete stranger. I have not yet responded to her private message - no, she didn't even have the nerve to post publicly, but once I've responded, she will be "un-friended."

I'm so ready for these days to fly by. There are lots of things going on in between and then the holiday season just after, but I can only focus on surgery. October brings my birthday, my daughter's birthday & my husband & my anniversary all within 4 days - it is always a very busy week for us. I'm usually knee deep in thoughts of how we will celebrate. Right now, I am feeling so selfish as I'm only thinking ahead to November and what I need to do to prepare for surgery and recovery. I hope I can come back to the present for a while. My daughter is 14 and although she's happy about my surgery, she's at the age/mindset where the world revolves around her and her birthday is like a national holiday. I don't want her to feel that it doesn't matter to me.

Rambling again, I know, but that's the purpose - to put my thoughts out there and get them out of my head. As you can imagine by my rambles, it gets kinda jumbled in my brain sometimes. LOL Best of luck to all of you, no matter where on your journey you currently are. Have a great week!