Gaining Weight
To give you all a little background information. I started the process with Kaiser February 6, 2013. Kaiser requires that you do the following before your paperwork is submitted to the board for approval.
1. Complete GB1(1st month) and GB2 (4th month) Class
2. Complete a weight control class
3. See a nutritionist for 6 months
4. Get a mental health evaluation
5. Sleep Study
So as of today, I have done the GB1 class, sleep study and have seen my nutrionist twice, my thrid appointment is April 9th. I'm hoping to get my approval for surgery by the end of July and have my surgery the first week in September.
I have been planning to have this surgery since October of last year. I could have started the process sooner, I just had to switch my insurance over to Kaiser, which I did January 1st.
It seems like since I knew I was getting surgery, I had been eating almost everything in sight. Well not really, I've just been eating out almost everyday. I'm not sure if it was becuase I knew that I may nto be able to eat these things again, or if I was eating out of fear. I had a breakdown in February because I realized that everything about my life was about to change. Now, I've been skinny before and I know how my life was then and compared to now, there is a significant difference. I just don't know if I'm mentally ready to take that on right now. I tell myself that I don't have an addiction to food, but for me to go from 180lbs to 305lbs in 10 years says a lot. 305 lbs is my highest weight EVER. I've gotten close to 300 and got scared, seeing myself over 300 has taken a toll on me emotionally. Now I have to loose 15lbs before July 9th with my nutritionist and I'm feeling like I can't. When I know I can because I've done it before. I know it's all a mental game, but I'm loosing.
When I went to see my nutritionist on Feb 12th, she said I had lost 5 lbs. When I went back on March 13th, she told me I gained 2 lbs back. I couldn't understand it. So now I need to loose the 2 lbs that I gained before I go back on April 9th.
Wish me luck!
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