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On My Marriage

By C_TimesThree

· 788 views

So many issues come with losing weight for me, I am petrified of the impact it could have on my relationship with my husband.

 

I have been married a year as of November to an amazing man, he supports me in every single way & has truly loved me no matter what. Since we met I have gained 80 pounds (& had two children) & not even that has phased him, yet I am afraid to lose weight. I am afraid that even at smaller sizes I will never be comfortable naked in front of him, that I will never stop wondering what he is thinking when he looks at me. I want to believe him when he tells me I'm beautiful not feel like he says it out of obligation.

 

I know it's not healthy, not healthy to feel so uneasy around the person you've committed to spend your life with, & I know it hurts him.

 

Part of this journey for me will be many hours in therapy, there is no point in having surgery & losing large amounts of weight if I can't get to the bottom of why I am like this in the first place. I have to admit I am a little frightened of that also, who knows what is hiding there, in the depths of my mind.

 

I wonder what the key is, to making sure my relationships don't fall apart. Maybe including him? If he is part of it maybe he can change and adjust with me.

 

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    4 Comments

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    Bariatric Legend

    Ms.AntiBand

    Gastric Sleeve Patients

    I've been married for 35 years and have weighed 105 to 200. My husband says he's been married to every size in the book and I've been stuck with the same ol' guy forever ;-)

  • Quote
    • Expert Member

    Jenipher

    LAP-BAND Patients

    I've been married for 14 yrs and my husband says we as woman are more bothered by our weight and appearance than they as men are. When they love us that's just what it is. Your husband loves you the good and the bad that you feel about yourself. Therapy may help but you have to love yourself as much as he does. Sounds like you don't believe you are worth loving. You and your marriage will be fine just keep loving him and allowing him to love you.

    I hope everything works out for you. Once you get use to being sleeved ( like a routine ) it won't be such a big deal. You just get use to it and its just something you become comfortable with because it a part of you.

    Hope that helped,

    Jenipher

  • Quote
    • Bariatric Master

    desertmom

    Gastric Sleeve Patients

    Hi,what Jenipher said is spot on.Therapy helps us to love ourselves and only then can we understand why and how others can love us the way they do.And only then can we love others the way they love us.

    xxo

  • Quote
    • Aspiring Evangelist

    beba238

    Gastric Sleeve Patients

    My bf and I are going to make 5 years in Feb. Together we both gained weight but you know how it goes the guy looks good but we girls just look fat. I feel weird with public displays of affection because i feel ppl looking and are thinking ewww why is he with her. And he tells my that I am beautiful all the time but it is so hard to believe.

    He's excited for my decision and he is supporting me 100% but i am terrified that things will change after surgery. Either he wont feel attracted to me anymore, or my flabby skin will disgust him or he'll be upset when i want to go out more , or he'll become jealous of new extra attn.

    We both have been through ups and downs and i feel like this will be another test in our relationship. What does not kill you will make you stronger and you never know until you try it. You need to love yourself first before you love others!

    Hope you find yourself! And he will love you regardless! Good Luck!

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