My First Entry

So here i am, most of my friends and family are just as excited as me...some even more than me. But then there are the select few who tell me "i'll support whatever choice you make, but i wouldn't do it if i were you." Hearing those things makes me hesitant to go through with this. It almost feels like they think i'm not trying hard enough or that i'm taking the easy way out. In fact...this isn't easy for me at all. Those of you reading this already know that though. I struggled to make this choice and come to the conclution that this is what i need to do. In fact, a year ago i thought i didn't need this surgery and that i could do it on my own. I lost 15 pounds then, but a year later, i am at my highest. Well, that was 6 days ago that i was at my highest. Thankfully i have lost 10 pounds so far during this pre-op waiting game. Anyways, they tell me of all the horror storied of the people they know who've gotten the bypass (which i'm not getting) and how you turn into a totally different person even down to your personality, how i'm going to have these crazy adiction transfers, and how i might lose my loved ones because of how much i'll change as a person. Stuff like that obviously scared the crap out of me...but i had to think, what's more important: having a healthy life where i know i wont die before 45, or POSSIBLY running into one or more of those previously stated issues? After asking myself that AND if i really thought that "without surgery would i be able to lose this weight and maintain it on my own", i realized that this is my only choice. Thank God i have insurance, otherwise this wouldn't be possible.

So, again, here i am......and this time i'm fully excited. I haven't really told my nay-sayers about my decision, but when the time comes, i will. I'm keeping a tottaly WIDE open room for communication with my boyfriend to make sure that he feels comfortable with all this and that he doesn't feel like i'm dragging him on this rollercoaster. haha

Soon i'll tell the rest of my family, cause so far only my mom, grandma, and cousin (who had bypass surgery) know of this. But for now i'm just making a YouTube journal of this whole thing (JessiesSleeveJourney) and documenting on here now too. My mom says i shouldn't tell any of my family when we go to Thanksgiving, but i'll let you know if i do. haha

-Jessie