I just started randomly putting on some music since it's my day off of work and sat down here on the forums to read and educate and obsess *lol* So then Lady Gaga comes on with her The Edge of Glory song and I just thought you know? This song is soooo fitting. I have never been so close to WLS in my life even though I have been researching, wishing, hoping and dreaming for a MIRACLE to happen for 3 or 4 years now. I don't get insurance with my job, I did not have insurance through college, so I never had any hope of getting any help with this at all. As everyone, I have tried diet after friggin' diet and yo-yoing and all of that. I'd lose 20 gain 30 lose 40 gain back 35 and coast up back to my original weight real slow, you know just so stupid and annoying. I know that losing weight even with the sleeve will be a life-long commitment but when you don't have a major assistance then it just gets so messed up and you gain it all back or you see another health problem arising or just whatever. It would take years to lose the amount of weight I have the potential to lose with a little help from a surgery such as the sleeve. It's just a whole new realm of hope and reading everyones posts and seeing all of the before and after photos of people JUST LIKE ME really makes me smile and happy to know that I AM NOT ALONE and that this can happen to me, too!

My finacee informed me today that the official plan is that we are going to be finding a little cheap apartment together and start from there so that we can begin our lives living together. I'll write that story in another post later because it's sort of a long story. But I am just so excited. I just wonder how long this would take. I'm trying not to sound selfish and be overly pushy and impatient but I've been overweight since I was 8 years old. Can you blame me for wanting to hurry this process up? I've not known anything else but fat, and I just want to know what it is like to be smaller and able to walk into a store and buy clothes that fit me nice and in patterns and designs that I actually like! I've never been able to do that!

I really like skulls and bats and weird things. I want to be able to wear things with these types of things on them because I will be able to fit into the sizes they come in! I want to be able to wear things that younger adults wear once and for all and for that to happen before I am over-the-hill. I want to have a taste of that aspect of my youth before it is gone and it makes me so happy that that is finally something that will be ACHIEVABLE!

What were some of the first pieces of clothing you bought that you had wanted to be able to fit in to and were just so happy and excited to be able to wear?