Sith Lords, Wallie, And Dinosaurs Taste Like Chicken

Yesterday was a day that would have made a SAINT fall to the Dark Side and become an evil Sith Lord. He and Darth Vader would have been bffs, I'm sure. Work was hectic in that everybody needed their hands held and a customer argued over a shade of pink I used on their cakes. But, honestly, I kinda expect that at work so it doesn't really bother me anymore. No, what made the day 'of the suck' was when I reached into my pocket to pull out Wallie (named after Wall-E), my Pantech Pursuit side-open qwerty keyboard phone and his touchscreen wasn't working! Wallie was probably my favorite phone EVER but the only thing he could still do was allow me to type a number on the keyboard to call out. Which was heroic of him, but who knows anybody's number anymore? Seriously, when I call someone it goes like this, "Wallie, call (fill in the blank with a name)" and Wallie calls. I can't deal with not having a phone. Seriously. Also, texting is a fact of life. So instead of going home to change from my work clothes before going to get my hair done I tried (and failed) to find a AT&T store. *sigh*

So off I go to my amazing salon where everybody always looks cute and hip. I already feel like a slob because I'm Lady Plumptious in the Land Of Skinny Cute Clothed People but wearing my work clothes (ucky T-shirt and jeans) I felt even worse. Luckily I had a pair of cute retro-shoes in my car and so was able to take off my just adorable (sarcasm) non-slip shoes. Yet even shoes do not make up for a sad, sad outfit. So, what does a Cool Chick like myself do, you ask? Well like any, er, 'big boned' lady I decided to fake it. Yep, I walked in all swagger and sass and thought to myself "Self, you are wearing awesome shoes. More awesome than THEIR shoes. See my delectable shoe-ware and know envy". Petty, yes, and I really do believe that people are more than their clothes and I really am a self-confident Goddess of Womanhood....but. Yeah, but. I kinda wanted to pretend to be a jedi and say "You see not my horrible work clothes, you see not my horrible work clothes. Oh, and you will give me a free mini highlight....". Ahh, to only have superpowers.

Anyway, the haircut is super hot and off I toddle to find my nearest AT&T store only to find out that my 'insurance' plan that I pay for can't give me a Wallie 2. That they don't even MAKE his type of phone anymore (poor Wallie, and he wasn't even 2 years old yet!) and they say that they'll give me 'X' instead. Well, 'X' is a POS and I'm not paying $50 for it. So low and behold I find myself a lovely iPhone 3 and now have Fyfer (from Fifer of "Watership Down") who rocks hardcore! I have joined the Legion Of Those Who Own Smart Phones And In Particular iPhones". So when do I get my t-shirt and secret decoder ring? They did give me poor Wallie's body in a box so I'm debating on burying him outside under a beautiful, pollen spludging Dogwood Tree. Poor Wallie.

Luckily my bffs called me to go out to eat that night (still in my ucky work clothes but NOW sporting professionally styled hair to go with my cute retro shoes) and we had chicken wings. Well, during the course of dinner I mentioned how I was watching a Dinosaur Documentary and that it said birds were the decedents of dinosaurs. So if that is true, and a chicken is a bird, does that mean that a T-Rex tastes like chicken? And that theoretically I just ate a T-Rex? Mmmm, T-Rex chicken is GOOD! So if you are what you eat, and I just ate a T-Rex does that mean I'm a meat-hungry Queen of Humanity? I mean, T-Rex was considered the king of dinosaurs....*grin*

Although I think my nobility should at least demand several hot cabana boys waiving pond fronds and rubbing my poor, tired feet. You see, cool retro shoes look great but walking for hours in them hurts!

Ah, what a day!