Ferocious Frustration!
My first VSG blog and it's going to be a vent session. I am truly frustrated! Admittedly the frustration is with me. I am struggling with getting in the protein in and I don't know what to do. I am in the pureed stage and I Yesterday I almost reached the goal (60 grams) and had one cup of refried beans to go. They were tasty but at my 2nd spoonful they got stuck. Guess I was eating too fast or not chewing them up enough but they were very stuck. Fortunately, I haven't vomited since coming home but last night I was very close. After about 30 minutes of pacing the floor I drank some hot water, which helped to get the beans down but not with the wave of nausea. Today I'm back on the liquid train just so I can try to manage this well.
Also, I'm wondering why some people volunteer to help during this time and they don't do anything but cause frustration. I asked a co-worker to take the lead on a project during my recovery but nothing has gotten done. I consider the co-worker a friend and this situation really made me angry. Now my students won’t get something I really wanted to give them before the break.
Lastly, is the basis of all of my frustration. I really want to be the old me because it was so much easier than actually having to take care of myself. I have never really been so concerned about eating to live. Eating is a part of life so I just did it. Now what I consume is even more important than ever and I'm frustrated with feeling so restricted by my own needs. I want to be able to cook a chicken breast, chew it, swallow and be done. No puree, no liquid protein, nothing! I want to be able to make sure I get to see my students before Christmas and be able to orchestrate everything I need to for them without having to worry about adult issues. I simply want to put my needs behind me and take care of everything else first. It's what I've always done and how I've never managed to lose enough weight to become healthy. I keep praying and asking God to help me deal with me. I know I have to take this one day at a time but I need a breakthrough!
If you read this cazy vent please say a prayer for me. I know that prayer works and I have faith that I’ll pull through this rut of frustration.
10 Comments
Recommended Comments
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now