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A New Beginning

NinerGirl74

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My name is Gina, I'm 37 years old, and I've been approved for surgery, yay! I will be having the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy on November 3, 2011 at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco. I have been "morbidly obese" for awhile now. My struggle with weight problems has occurred since I was about 25 years old. From about the time I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 22, I felt that I was destined to gain weight. I was extremely fatigued despite the medication I started taking, which is now a very high dose of Synthroid ... 0.275 mg to be exact.

 

I'm 5 feet tall and I weigh 218 lbs. My BMI is 42. I wasn't overweight while growing up, and this is the first time I've weighed this much. In fact, I was very petite growing up. I don't mean to sound cavelier but I am not used to being fat, and boy, do I look and feel like fat. I wouldn't say that I'm ashamed of myself but I do feel very embarrassed, have a low self esteem, little to no confidence, and sometimes depressed over the way I look and feel. Maybe I am ashamed ... well at least I'm not just sitting back. I'm doing something about my health once and for all.

 

My husband loves me no matter what, although I can't say that I am 100% sure he is still sexually attracted to me (he says he still is). It's hard to gauge our sex life because we have a 2 1/2 year old son, and he still sleeps in our bed! Well, we have our opportunities but when you are overweight and unhealthy, you don't feel sexy. At least I don't. I sometimes hide myself behind a towel after I get out of the shower because I don't want him to see my stomach. My tummy is embarrassingly bigger than when we first met 8 years ago. I know he loves me but I want to feel sexy again.

 

My family has been totally supportive of my decision. My friends have also been supportive! I haven't gone around town telling everyone I know about the surgery because I believe everything has its place & time, but I can't wait to show off the results! Part of me sometimes feels that this surgery isn't going to happen, like it's too good to be true. I must say though, on September 9, 2011, I found out I was approved by the insurance company for surgery. I was ecstatic!! I still am pinching myself to make sure it's really going to happen. The reason why I feel like this is so easy to explain...

 

Every year, especially upon making my New Year's resolutions, I say, "this is the year that I'm going to lose weight and be thin!" I fully intend to go through with his plan, and I join a gym, go walking, and eat healthier, but somewhere between chilly weather and laziness, I give up. I hate giving up. Why is it that I only give up on myself but not others? I didn't feel it was very fair to myself. Around May 2010, I spoke to my endocrinologist about being so unhappy because of my weight. I told her that I desperately needed a solution. She prescribed Meridia. By early October, I had lost 23 lbs. I started to give away my clothes; I was sooo happy! Then by my mid October, my doctor's office called to tell me that the FDA had recalled the drug. All of a sudden, the depression kicked in. I thought it was hopeless. I thought I would be fat forever.

 

I gained back all of that 23 lbs. One day when I was twiddling my thumbs, I remembered there were such surgeries that existed like the Gastric Bypass or the Lap-Band procedure. (At this point, I had never heard of the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy.) So I inquired about the Lap-Band when I saw my endocrinologist in May 2011. She thought it was a good idea, and referred me to Dr. Gregg Jossart. Luckily, he shares the same office space so it made my life easier. As required, I went to a support group, learned about the various bariatric surgeries, and got to listen to people who had bariatric surgery. I felt inspired! I met with Dr. Jossart on June 21, 2011 and he said I am a great candidate for the Gastric Sleeve. After meeting with the psychologist and the dietitician several times, they sent their reports to Dr. Jossart's office. After two weeks of waiting, I found out the good news.

 

So I hope you will follow me on this journey! I promise to give as many details as possible. Thanks for reading!

 



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I am having the VGS on Nov. 2, 2011...so I can relate to a lot of your story! I had my thyroid removed about 10 yrs ago...since then I have gained over 150 lbs. I was always a little over weight after having 3 children...but after the thyroid surgery (and I am on Synthroid too) it piled on. To add more drama to it...I have a heart condition that limits exercise.

I know this is the best decision for me at this point in my life. I just turned 44 yrs old... and the kids are all teenagers or grown.

My husband is my biggest fan! I know what you mean about not feeling sexy...but...sexy comes within..we have to feel it first before we can expect someone else to see it! :)

I wish you the best ...and look forward to following your journey too..

God bless!

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<BR>I am having the VGS on Nov. 2, 2011...so I can relate to a lot of your story! I had my thyroid removed about 10 yrs ago...since then I have gained over 150 lbs. I was always a little over weight after having 3 children...but after the thyroid surgery (and I am on Synthroid too) it piled on. To add more drama to it...I have a heart condition that limits exercise. <BR><BR>I know this is the best decision for me at this point in my life. I just turned 44 yrs old... and the kids are all teenagers or grown. <BR><BR>My husband is my biggest fan! I know what you mean about not feeling sexy...but...sexy comes within..we have to feel it first before we can expect someone else to see it! <IMG class=bbc_emoticon alt=:) src="http://cdn.verticalsleevetalk.com/public/style_emoticons/%3C#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif"><BR><BR>I wish you the best ...and look forward to following your journey too..<BR><BR>God bless!<BR>
<BR><BR><BR>Thanks so much for your post!! Glad to meet you and let's take this journey together! :)

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Hi There,

I found you...glad to have shared this site with you and read your blog. We are sharing so many of the same experiences as are most people on this site. It is somewhat comforting to know the other person in the next room on Nov 3rd and maybe we can comfort each other, as only we can understand what this will be like. Maybe they will put us in rooms next to each other :rolleyes: So a little about me, I am 42 yo and I live in Marin, have an 8yo boy and a 5 yo girl and have been with my husband Marc for 17 years (married 9 years). I have worked at Google for a long time and commute a long way 2-3 times per week to be there. I only started having weight loss issues in my 30's and was always skinny prior to that (similar to you). It sucks and I am completely depressed! For the past 10 years I have gone up and down and now I am sick of it. Recently got my husband to be on- board but he is still not happy about it, either is my therapist. But most other are...a lot of people have there judgements. Maybe we can get together sometime before the surgery..There is a support group in Novato on Oct 15th..my friend Teri is having it done with Jossart on Nov 30th and we are going..hope you can join us and we can get coffee or brunch after and talk.

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<BR>Hi There, <BR><BR>I found you...glad to have shared this site with you and read your blog. We are sharing so many of the same experiences as are most people on this site. It is somewhat comforting to know the other person in the next room on Nov 3rd and maybe we can comfort each other, as only we can understand what this will be like. Maybe they will put us in rooms next to each other <IMG class=bbc_emoticon alt=:rolleyes: src="http://cdn.verticalsleevetalk.com/public/style_emoticons/%3C#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif"> So a little about me, I am 42 yo and I live in Marin, have an 8yo boy and a 5 yo girl and have been with my husband Marc for 17 years (married 9 years). I have worked at Google for a long time and commute a long way 2-3 times per week to be there. I only started having weight loss issues in my 30's and was always skinny prior to that (similar to you). It sucks and I am completely depressed! For the past 10 years I have gone up and down and now I am sick of it. Recently got my husband to be on- board but he is still not happy about it, either is my therapist. But most other are...a lot of people have there judgements. Maybe we can get together sometime before the surgery..There is a support group in Novato on Oct 15th..my friend Teri is having it done with Jossart on Nov 30th and we are going..hope you can join us and we can get coffee or brunch after and talk.<BR>
<BR><BR>So glad we met and so glad you introduced me to this website!! Re your husband & therapist: Hopefully they will realize that this is the best route for you. It just sucks because not everyone is like us, so they don't understand. I worry about how people will take it after the weight is gone. Some people in my family can be judgmental at times. I can see one or two people saying, "you act different now that you lost weight." Well, I hope I would be happier and if that's acting different, what's so wrong with that?<BR><BR>I wish I could go to the group in Novato but it's far for me, especially because I don't own a car! Yup, it's true. :P I need one though, because my son is getting older (he turns 3 in December) and I need to stop relying on people to drive me & my family everywhere. Well, my mom lives with us and she has a car, so that has made it easier for us (and also I guess makes us more lazy). My husband doesn't even drive... we both don't have our licenses. Okay, now you know all of the dirty details. But I must assure you, in SF you don't need a car if you're only traveling within SF. I have relied on the bus for everything... (you must have your mouth hung open!)<BR><BR>I would love to meet up with you before the surgery if possible. Let me know what you think. We can meet in downtown SF if that's convenient or if not, we will just have to email each other and post on here.<BR><BR>P.S. I hope they put our rooms next to each other!! : )

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I really enjoyed your post! It sounds very much like my story too! I developed Hypothyroid & Hashimoto's Thyroiditis after my first child was born in 2000. I was a size 8 before getting pregnant with him. I gained 70 pounds with the pregnancy & now weigh 213 at 5'6" and 40 years old. I have 3 kids altogether, 5, 7 & 11. My husband completely wants me to have the surgery. I think (but he doesn't say) beacause he wants me to be thin like I was when I met him at age 19...I was probably 120 lbs. Anyway, I don't think he is attracted to me anymore. We have a very lacking sex life. Part of it is because I am tired all the time too. I want to have energy again like I did in my twenties. But, carrying around an extra 88 lbs will make a girl tired!

I'm scheduled to have my VSG Nov. 15th, but I am soooooooo nervous & not sure it's a good decision. I have been diagnosed with pre-Diabetes, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disk Disease, Depression & my feet, knees, hips & back hurt all the time. So, I think it would be good to cure all these things. I'm mostly worried what my folks will say about it. They are gonna throw a fit when I tell them. I just don't want to hear it.

I'm also afraid I won't be able to do the post-op diets forever. Having tried so many diets, I just have given up on them altogether & have accepted that I am how I am:-) I don't really see an extra 88 lbs when I look in the mirror. But other people do. I would LOVE to be thin again & wear nice clothes & look great & feel great! I want to set a positive example for my kids too...especially my daughter bc she is a little chunky & at 5 years old, already talks about feeling fat & wanting to diet. (I don't talk about my weight around her...but her brothers have teased her about being chunky...which I just won't stand for & I jump all over them for it when I hear it happening!

Anyway, I'm going to my first support group tonight. I hope to get bunches of warm fuzzies & positive energy from the group!

I look forward to hearing more about your journey! It was nice to hear what you've been through so far! Thanks for sharing!

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