So here I am… over 11 months post op now. My Sleeversary is on the 15th of every month, and my next one will be ONE FULL YEAR!! When I decided to get revised from Lap Band to sleeve, I had gone from my low of 227 Lbs all the way back up to 281 Lbs. I was only 2 Lbs. away from reaching my Lap Band surgery day weight of 283. That was not a good time for me. I was quite literally depressed.
It’s not easy making a decision like this… let alone a second one. How was I ever going to get myself back on track to get to where I’d wanted to find myself? One thing I needed to ask myself was – is my heart in it? Yes, no doubt about that. I have a lot of friends who still follow me from my Lap Band days, and they’ve seen me struggle like no others. They would tell you, I was always fighting, trying, starting over, crying, rejoicing and everything else that goes along with a lot of weight loss and gains over the long years of obesity struggles.
So, my Lap Band and I just didn’t get along. We were enemies before we even met. We were never destined to get to the Promised Land together. It is what it is though, no need crying over spilled milk. All we can do is go our separate ways and in my quest to find happiness, like so many other failed relationships out there, continue my search for “the one”.
Well, here I am today, not even a year later after finding “the one” and I’ve hit all of my major goals already. Some I never ever dreamed of hitting, and one in particular was one that I just placed on myself to see if I could do it… and I did.
My major goals were first and foremost getting lower than my Lap Band weight. That was such an awesome day for me. I’d prayed and prayed so many times to do this with my band and that elusive 227 Lbs forever haunted me. I felt really good at that weight, and look at me now!! That was nearly 50 Lbs ago now!! It’s still hard to imagine as I look back and reflect. I’m far beyond that at this point, and really seems like a dream come true.
My second major goal was to weigh less than my darling husband. Wow, what an excellent day that was for me to yell at him with joy and dance around saying I finally did it… he’s finally the man of the house!! LOL I’m not really sure if most understand this, but in my world, I should never weigh more than him. I felt so unladylike and especially out doing him by more than 120 Lbs even. Granted he’s not a really big guy. We are about the same height but still… he IS a man. He SHOULD weigh more than me… and now he does. In fact we have a good 25 Lbs between us now. Oh happy happy joy joy!!
My third and ULTIMATE goal I’d set for myself was to fit into some cute Size 8 Levi’s that I had. I bought them right around the time I had my surgery, or not long after. I had this particular cut and brand jeans that I just love and I’d often as a larger woman still wearing Women’s Sizes often go over and look at them… daydreaming. They looked so itty bitty to me then, and I never dreamed I could actually make it there. When I bought them I felt a little embarrassed because I knew the clerk would see the size and I also knew the clerk would probably laugh at me buying such a small size. Well, I went to a guy clerk after imagining this in hopes for the chance they wouldn’t notice. I’m not sure if he did or not, I just bought them and ran out!! Hahaa!! I’m so glad I did though!! I kept them hanging up on my wall, looking at them and imagining myself in them someday. Well right around 205-208 Lbs, I was finally able to squeeze into those suckers!!! I was in total amazement, and yes I even cried a little bit. It was such an awesome time for me! It was truly truly a spectacular moment. One I will NEVER FORGET!!!!
Ok, so imagine my surprise at being able to get them on and not even having reached Onederland yet. I figured I’d fit them around 190… and that was even wishful thinking. So, since I’d really only had several actual real scale related goals and the most major one being Onederland I had to keep pushing forward. I decided then to make my new goal Size 4 Levi’s of the same cut and style. Wow, when I bought those jeans I about died. They look so small I can’t even describe the angst I felt. I really hate making myself goals that I don’t feel confident I’ll make. The reason is simple… if I don’t make it, I will be left feeling like a failure. I’m a super strict perfectionist. I’m really tough on myself if I don’t end in success, and I think that has a lot to do with my weight issues…stemmed from the past.
Anyway, I kept pressing on. I think it was about a few weeks later that I hit my most favorite goal to date. ONEDERLAND!!! OMG I can’t express to you how amazing this goal was for me. I haven’t seen the One’s prior to this for over 20 years. I fought so hard for it too. My scale was going to C-block me (sorry for the language folks but it’s true!!) as much as it could before letting me get there. My scale has always hated me. It still does. It will NEVER let me have what I want when I want it. I’ll also never ever be 125 Lbs. There’s just no way in the world… that said… it was nice to me for that split second. I was happy. Case closed… LOL
At this point I’m beginning to believe that my journey though not complete yet, is a total success. It was around that time that I started to enjoy my weight loss journey, and started to recognize my fluctuations and just going with them and being patient about them. It was also around this time that a few others of my notable goals were met.
- I’d finally run an entire 5K event, and did quite well. Now I can run a 5K without issue and really go for 3.5-5 Miles 4-5 days per week without fail.
- I’ve also gotten my waist size to less than 32”, which according the the Health World is ideal for a Woman to have, as anything more we are predisposed to diseases such as Diabetes, etc.
- My panels are all excellent, save for my iron, which is not out of the norm for me. My blood pressure is completely controlled and I never have any problems with it anymore and do not need additional medications for it.
There are countless others, but these are my most notable. Oh, and did I mention I was able to get those Size 4’s on? Yeah, I did. There’s a picture of me wearing them in my Signature line. Yayyy!!!
So… where do I go from here? Well, I can tell you this, I’ve never had any kind of real actual Scale goal to reach. I have no idea where I want to land at. I can tell you this though; I’m completely satisfied with me right now. Size 4 is pretty small.
I’m getting my breasts augmented next Thursday. Ladies, I can honestly tell you, a lot of us (not all!! Everyone’s different) are going to lose the boobs. I held mine really good (Full D Cup) all the way up until I hit Onederland. It was about overnight that they just deflated, like as if you would poke a tiny hole in a large balloon. *Whoosh!!* Gone… so I’m having them “re-instated” so to speak, heehee I will likely come out a full DD or maybe even a DDD. Wow… LMAO!! Like I said, go BIG or go home!!
I’m also getting liposuction on my thighs and knee areas. I find that normal size clothing doesn’t give extra room for those of us with thicker thighs. I’m always stuck having to wear a larger size than I need to compensate and left with a baggy bum and waist area. It’s really frustrating. So, I’m going to get those areas addressed. Not only that, it will really accelerate my running with more comfort.
In closing, I just want to say that in reality I am at goal. My brain still needs to catch up however. I’m going through a full fledged surgery and a few other procedures, so my brain is on overload right now. I’m not going to deal with the struggles of “maintenance” until I’m completely healed up and fully back onto some kind of workout routine. I think it would be foolish of me to try to up my carbs and calories right now, especially not being able to compensate by any type of calorie burn. This was really weighing (no pun intended) heavily on me and making me feel out of control. Oh, did I mention I’m a control freak too??? Hahaa!!
Anyway, if you’re still with me, as I know this is in an incredibly long read, I want to just say that I don’t regret one moment of my sleeve experience. I did right after as the first month is quite hellish, but now? NO WAY!!! It truly has saved my life, and has given me what I’ve dreamed to have for so many years. Also, no pictures in this update... I want this to be about my long journey more than anything else.
Source: My 11th Month Sleeversary Update