Odds and Ends

At 3 days shy of my 1 year banding mark, I have come to a lot realizations. Through this process you tend to learn about yourself and your strength. I have come to realize, I've lied to myself for a long time.

I use to think I ate healthy- WRONG. While I didn't hit fast food joints a lot, what I cooked at home wasn't cooked the healtiest and I ate a lot of processed foods. Beside that I just plain out ate a lot.

I use to think that this process would be a snap for me- easy as pie- that I would be a leader and knock the docs socks off- WRONG. I have lost 60 lbs, which isn't horrible, but I could have lost a lot more. I had to realize some things about me and it took a while. It's not always easy to make the right choices when it comes to eating.

I use to think- ok I can do this with out exercise- WRONG. I have lost the weight I have with little exercise. While on occassion I take a long walk with the pups, I did good for about a month on the elliptical and the hubs and I ride bikes when the weather allows. But, my workout are not routine, they are sporatic at best. Honestly, I believe I am going to have to add consistant exercise to my routine to ever lose more weight.

I use to think- ok, it's okay to eat not so great food today, it's only one day- WRONG. Some people are able to do this, I am not one of them. I find that if I go out and eat something that I normally don't, say fried chicken, that will set my cravings for other not so healthy foods off. For me going off a rigid plan only leads to a slippery slope that I have great difficulty not going over. I have fallen off this slope more times than I care to count. I am currently climbing my way back up to the top.

I use to think- I can do this alone- NOPE again. I need the support of so many people. When you are having a tough day, even though you know the answers to some questions, you just need someone there who can reassure you that you are correct. You need the support from the people you are around on a daily basis- spouse, kids, parents, roommates, friends and sometimes co-workers. You also really need a good open relationship with your doctor and nutrtitionist- these are the specilaist to can help you best of all with tweeks to your plan. You also need some type of support group- it could be an actual group meeting or this site- but a group of people who are going through the same thing as you are; who can understand the ups and downs. You also need somewhere that you can come and encourage others, so you feel value in this process - it's an evolving cycle.

These are not nearly all the things that I learned, but it's a lot of the big ones. I've stuggled with my weight since I was 6 years old; always being the big girl. I find that I ate complusively and emotionally for years even though I didn't realize it. I realize that while I haven't done horrible on this journey, the only reason I haven't lost more is that I did fully invest in it. I thought I could do it my way and still get where I wanted and that was wrong. I have to do what the doctor and the nutrtionist recommend- healthy diet (plan- whatever you want to call it), exercise, rest, lots of water.

So even though I am one year out and about 45 lbs from my goal of weight in the 140's, I am going to have to reinvest myself, get back into the game and hit it hard. I am going to have to do it or I will remain in the 180's.