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I want my drugs...

Terry Poperszky

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It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?

 

Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.

 

So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.



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Terry you made the right choice... even if you had eaten yourself silly and perhaps endangered your health, how would that have helped your family member with their issue? I know firsthand about trying to medicate yourself to avoid the pain.. We lost 3 family (daughter, son and son in law) in the past few years.. it's the worst kind of pain ever losing your children.. but my eating and even going back to smoking for a short time could not fix it... it gets better with time . I am able to cope better through this process of making myself healthy and realizing that my life is still worth living.. Take care of yourself so you can help your loved ones.. I will pray for you and your family member.

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2 ounces Jamison's Irish Whiskey, 139 calories. It isn't BBQ, but it helps

I totally get it! I don't keep Irish Whiskey in my office downstairs, but I do keep a handy dandy bottle of Xanax for those unbearable times, calories - zero.

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Terry - I've gotten so much from your posts. You have so much strength, and I appreciate all that you've given in this forum.

Life ain't easy! And as we get older, the harder it gets. It's easier in some ways, but there is so much more to deal with; caregiving to elderly parents, family issues, health issues, deaths......the list goes on. Unless someone has a bonafide drinking problem, having a nip on the ol' bottle every now and again is absolutely fine.....downright medicinal :-) I'd do it more often myself, but it triggers eating....which I can't afford.

You really exercised your program through a very sh-tty day, which is monumental when you look back and see how you would have dealt with this pre-band. Bravo to you!!

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Congratulations, Terry. You won. Be proud that you're taking care of yourself. You have inspired many.

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