This is my first blog on here so I'll start with an intro - I can't guarantee it will be quick but wth - it's my blog so who cares, right? I'm 30 - yep pretty young... I'm a mom of two girls who exude awesomeness and I'm married to my own prince charming (who is supportive of my weight loss efforts but is sad to see my chunkiness go) :wub: ... and I LOVE smileys LOL. I used to be "normal" weight of 125lbs at 5'1... up until I was about 23/24 and then my thyroid broke... one doctor found a nodule in it and I started having a bunch of funky symptoms (you know the usual - tired, fast weight gain, depression, cold all the time, hair falling out, etc...), well that doctor left the practice and the new doctor did blood work and told me I was fine - I just needed to eat less and walk more and after all I was "getting older" (yeah I was 24 when she said this - I still hate her )... I listened and I dieted - I did a boot camp class, Weight Watchers, and a bunch of other crap... and I just kept gaining... I kept going in and complaining and she kept saying the same thing so finally I just gave up... Fast foward to age 28 and I was somewhere over 200 lbs (I stopped getting on the scale at 200 because I couldn't handle seeing the number anymore) and I went to the doctor because I was sick... saw a new doctor at the practice because mine was on vacation and as she reviewed my chart first thing she wanted to know was why my thyroid had been untreated for the last 4+ years... apparently I was hypothyroid the whole time and I'd gained at least 80 lbs to show for it ...

Long story short... It's been two years since I've been diagnosed - I've done Weight Watchers two more times, low calorie diets, the 17 day diet, simply starved myself, and Phentermine. Today I weigh 175 lbs, my thyroid is now regulated but I still can't lose weight without starving and as soon as I return to normal portions I gain the weight I lost back.

Now here's where the insanity begins... I have incredible health insurance but of course bariatric surgery is one of the five exclusions on my policy - so I decided to pick up my husband's insurance as secondary coverage to get it paid for since here in the DC Metro area we're talking out of pocket costs of $50K without insurance... Well after I joined his insurance I found out that while my current BMI of 33 qualifies medically for Lap Band, the insurance will not pay for it unless my BMI is 35 which is a difference of 10 pounds! Yes, 10 d@mn pounds!!! So... since my doctor has told me to have surgery or have diabetes and I don't have $50K, I'm on what I'm calling my "fat girl swag" and trying to gain 10 pounds as fast as possible... yep its crazy but in my opinion, so is being 50 lbs overweight because your doctor screwed up for 4 years! In my weight gain journey (which is about a week old), I've quickly learned one thing... I'm not overweight because of how I eat - I'm truly overweight because of my thyroid and it sucks royally! I'm actually having to work at eating more than 2K calories a day and it's almost amusing!

I'm meeting with the surgeon on Monday for my initial consult to start the process since there's about a 3-4 month process with my secondary insurance and I'm anxious to see how weigh in goes with him... I'm not sure if I'll weigh with clothes on or in a gown and what his scale will say... I know my primary care doctor's scale seems to always be about 4lbs higher than mine so if that's the case I'm really only about 6lbs away... Despite being nervous I can't weight to begin starting over and returning to who I used to be...