Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect. Obviously, or I wouldn't have a problem with

food. But today I realized something....I need to put myself first more often then I do.

Just a little background info.

I've been dating a guy since June, but its on and off all of the time. I'm stupid for allowing

it to be that way, but thats another whole story. Today he worked from home while I'm at my sisters

resting and relaxing on my one day off. We had agreed to see each other today, I'd come over to

his place at some point.

He calls me at 6, I'm asleep but I was just waiting for him to call and let me know he was done with work.

He says he's really tired, and he's just gonna go to bed. No problem, he has some health issues and just

had a huge molar yanked out yesterday. So I say "Are you sure??" He says yes and I love you, talk to you later, etc.

Ok no problem.

Then I get the nastygram text about how I chose to dump him off yesterday and not ask how he was doing all day.

WTF? Seriously??? Yes, you took care of me all weekend, WHILE YOU WERE OFF; I had major surgery and was in pain and not feeling well

and really couldn't afford to be alone all weekend. Fine, you took care me, that was awesome, I thanked you profusely.

His cracked tooth was bothering him to the point that Monday he was almost in tears about it. I called MY dentist since he doesn't have one

in Maryland (he's from PA) and he got an appt for Wednesday afternoon. Then Tuesday, he was still in so much pain, I called again for him

and got him in that day at 4. Meanwhile I'm still sore and recouping, went back to work, I'm running to the dr.'s office for the second time

to pick up my corrected light duty note for my idiot staffing at my job, stopped by my parents house, cooked for my mom, helped my dad with some stuff, etc. (they're older and my mom has alzhiemers). I still made time to stop and hold his hand at the dentist. He is happy that he's got some pain medicine now; he is advised to go see an oral surgeon ASAP to get the root canal. Well turns out, a root canal would have cost him 1K out of pocket. So I said, why don't you get it pulled since its cracked all the way through and in the very back of your mouth. He agrees.

I spend my entire lunch hour calling oral surgeons in Maryland to find one that could see him that day or Thursday. The entire time he's snapping at me because he's just like that when he's in pain or upset. (Another story.) Finally I find one, it won't cost anything out of pocket, and its Thursday at 730am. He's happier now. I spent the night with him Wednesday night so I could drive him and pick him up due to the anesthesia. He thanks me, he loves me, blah blah blah. Even though he thought he needed a referral and his previous X-rays and somehow that was my fault, and he was going to loose his job, and that was my fault. I told him to relax. This doesn't make it any better apparently. Well that afternoon he felt much better. I went and picked up his rx's and some other errands for him. Apparently, this isn't enough. I should stop and spend the rest of the week at his side, coddling him....if you know me, I don't coddle. I have no sympathy for sissy's or selfish people.

And that is exactly what he acted like.

"Give me attention" "you didn't blah blah blah!" "You don't do this blah blah and blah" and so on and so on...

I feel like he doesn't appreciate anything I do for him. Its never good enough; he's got a bottomless pit that can't be filled no matter what anyone does. This relationship, if you could call it that, is over in my book.

SO YAYYY, that was my day.

I had a tunafish sandwich for lunch and the rest of it for dinner, with some sugar free hot chocolate. Yah, not the bestest thing to choose, but

there's not much in the house and I am not going grocery shopping until I get paid next week. Speaking of next week, I have a lot to do.

Do ya think anyone will help me? Noooo, and when I say anyone I mean the BF. The BF is about to become the ex, or TX. I don't need that

crap right now, I'm trying to start my life over after being unhappy for years. Don't f with that!!!!!!

I don't plan on writing like this all the time in my blog; I will probably just write about things pertaining to my lapbanding, but I needed to vent.

Cheers everyone...over and out good buddy!

Bedtime for Sara.