In the beginning....

Being over weight is a story millions of people can relate to in America. I can tell the "over weight saga" well. All my life I have been the "pretty face", and the "your so pretty but...." Growing up I have always been the chubby kid, and now at the age of 33 I have decided to take control of my weight for good! It is physically and emotionally exhausting being fat. The first thing I think of when I wake is either my weight or what I am going to eat for the day, and it's the same thing I think of before I go to bed every night. It's time to change.

The breaking point for me is when I found out this year that I have osteoarthritis in my left knee, and 2 herniated discs in my lower back. I am way to young to have to go through this kind of pain, and it is all a by-product of being obese. I remember as a child my mom would always over feed me and my sisters. In hindsight I think it was because she grew up without, and she didn't want the same suffering for her children. It took me a long time to quit blaming my childhood for my life long battle with weight, and to take control. Of course, I was always picked on as a child being the heaviest one in my family and always felt alone. I won't go into to much cliche story telling of the typical childhood woews of being fat, but yes I went through all the traumatizing cruelness of other kids making fun of you because you are fat.

Now, fast forward 15 years and countless unsuccessful diets & exercises later, here I am still fat. Unlike before, my weight loss is not about just looking good or being attractive, it is about having a better quality of life. Being able to go camping, hiking, biking and all the other fun stuff I should be doing without limitations. I want people to know who read this that just because you are over weight does not mean that you are lazy, or unmotivated, it means you have an unhealthy relationship with food that needs help. I have been very fortunate to have a great college education, MBA and other things that require hard work, which if I was "lazy" I wouldn't be able to have attained, but I do have a fatal addiction...FOOD! Of course those who have never struggled with weight cannot relate to this addiction, they simply think "well quit eating," "don't eat as much," "exercise," yes, those are obvious answers and if it was that easy for me don't you think I would have done it by now? Unfortunately unlike other addictions such as alcohol or drugs, your body cannot be without food -- it's a catch 22, if your problem is food, then you should quit, but if you quit you will starve yourself to death so you are at a loss either way.

Taking this big step is big, very big for me. I am excited yet still nervous. I am on my 5th day of fasting on protein shakes before surgery and it isn't getting any easier, 9 days to go! I hope that people reading this will continue feeling motivated to stick to the lap band process, or decided to go through with it. You are not alone my friend.