OK, so post op appointment went better than I could have hoped. My port site is fine, I chose to have the Dr. use the "spider" to do my surgery, which involves 1 incision thru the belly button. When he uses that machinery, the port is low...next to the belly button, BUT he uses a low profile port which is about the size of a nickle. Everything I'm feeling at my port area is completely normal, and will subside over time..(swelling tenderness etc.) WHEW. I feel relieved.

Next, they told me I'm basically on a "canned food diet" meaning if it comes out of a can, and I can mash it, I can eat it. Protein first, then other carbs or starches. So last night I had canned chicken breast mixed with plain greek yogurt. My boyfriend thought it sounded nasty...but he admits he has not been on liquids for 2 weeks, so our ideas of good/bad taste may be a bit different! It was good, went down very easily, and I probably over ate, it was about a cup of food, and I felt as though I could have eaten more easily after. Wasn't starving, but wasn't full either.

SO, I assume I'm entering bandster hell. I can probably eat a lot more than I should, without getting sick or pb or sliming. BUT..I made a committment to myself to "eat like a bandster" until I have restriction. Which means...I need to limit my portions to 1/2 cup at a time, take 30 min to chew and consume food, and eat only 4 times daily. (three meals and snack) Protein first...then other macronutrients. I just have to make it until Dec 17 for my first fill. I can do anything for 2 weeks!

Emotionally, I'm just raw. Feels like someone has taken my skin off, and just left nerves exposed for all to touch and mess with. Food really did stuff down any strong or undesirable feelilngs I had, and I'm just going to have to get used to FEELING. Not having the numb hangover of a binge all the time. A mean lady at work gave me grief over something minimal yesterday, and I started CRYING. I would NEVER have cried before!!! But I'm so RAW, exposed, tender right now. I don't think I'm describing it right, but I always understand how people on the biggest loser cry and show emotions at the slightest provocation. Take away my m&m's, put me in a sports bra, and weigh me on national television...I'd cry too.