feeling introspective

Ok I havent posted in a few months. Ankle is still on the mend, not 100% after 3 months but I think its about as good as its going to get.

Been doing not so good lately, really the past 2 months! Have been very up and down with both my mood and eating, note the coorelation!! Have only lost about 5 pounds over the past 2 months, very depressing! Add that to my already down self and I have been just beating myself.

Of course my wonderful husband has taken the pleasure of kicking me while Im down. Why is it that I allow this man, who is supposed to be the closest person in the world to me, put me down and make me feel bad ALL the time. Why am I allowing this?

I dealt with YEARS of my mothers verbal abuse and negativity and belittleing and I cut off all relationship with her to get away from that. Now I see I have my husband to take her place.Is this an insecurity on his part?? He feels that is he makes me feel like shit it gives him a boost or keeps me with him??

I cant do this anymore, I am not a weak person, I am not willing to accept failure, I will not allow someone to control me and make me feel less important!

Now I'm seeing what he put me through, what he has done and been doing for years, Now i'm getting angry! Now I'll show that jackass who I am, how strong I can be, how I dont need him. Oh how shocked he'll be when he finds himself alone with nothing:mad2: