Motivation has Left the Building
So apparently you can throw up 5-7 times a day for five months and not have your band slip. Still not recommended by any means, but my upper GI scan shows everything is where it's supposed to be. It also showed that I have zero restriction and that stuff is just flying through the band. No kidding. Maybe this is why I'm so damn hungry all the time?
With the nausea, the hunger, the puking and my doctor's apparent lack of interest in why I'm having so much trouble, I have to say I've lost all motivation to make this work. Every time I get remotely close to restriction, I start puking my guts out. I'm not too tight, we've got pictures to prove it. My doctor is baffled as to why six days out of seven food sits in my stomach like a lead ball until I puke it up, and on the seventh day I could eat the entire grocery store. There is no pain, just nausea. The food is not stuck. On an empty stomach I can put back a litre of water in less than five minutes... none of this 'small sips to feel it trickle through' required. Still haven't lost a single pound since the pre-op diet, which also made me sick.
Just once in my life I wish something would go my way when it comes to my health. Band problems are the proverbial last straw to years of constant pain, exhaustion and illness. It's not so much that I want to give up on the band as I want to give up. I'm tired; there's no more fight in me. All I have are memories of the things I've had to give up as I got sicker: soccer, bicycles, violin, piano, walking, school, jobs... 24 years of drugs, doctors and hospitals and I'm done.
I'm genuinely happy for those who are band success stories. Keep on going! :rolleyes2: Just because I'm too broken to be fixed doesn't mean that nobody around me can be happy. Maybe I'll make a last ditch effort to see if I can make some other surgery work for me. Given my track record of medical problems though, I don't think another surgeon is going to want to go anywhere near me. Time will tell.
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