Holy Crap #251 I hoped I'd never see that number again.

HI folks

I was 254 when I was banded March of 08. I hit my lowest of 206 late last summer. I am as of a few minutes ago 251.

My downhill slide started Nov 08. The scale got stuck or bounced up and down. I continued to work with my trainer but my food choices were not good. At my one year (3/09)with the Dr he said he was very impressed (Ha?) and to keep up the good work. Well sadly that did not happen. I had highs- going on a once in a lifetime trip to Alaska June 09 (and lows)only to have my Mom pass away the night before I left. Early summer I went to the Drs office for a fill and was told by the PA "No, go home and work on the diet, the band is working fine". Mid summer my gym closed unexpectedly because of bankruptcy and my prepaid training sessions went with it. Fall 09 saw great stress when my office downsized- BIG time. (my job is still on life support). It doesn't help to have a husband(in great shape) who "loves me no matter what size" and doesn't give me the tough love I've asked for in regards to food choices(junk food in the house, eating out most meals) and exercise habits. I've had to buy new larger size clothes after tossing all the old ones thinking I would never need them again.

I received a letter from my Drs office last week addressed "To Whom It May Concern" that they haven't seen me (ya sure you don't even know my name) in a while and should make a appointment. Now that's cold.

I really want to call and make that appointment but am very afraid.

This band is a blessing and a curse. I've never felt like such a failure before. But without it I probably never would have done 2 triathlons.

I came back here hoping to find some of the support that was so, well, supportive 2 years ago.

I have to remember why I got banded in the first place.