My B day was really nice this year. My kids were awesome and my cake rocked! Although I gained 2.5 lbs over the long weekend (I already lost 1.5 of it by this am) but ya know.... It is no biggie because I am really working hard and I will hit my next mini goal by the end of the month ( to get <241).

Back to the B Day.... If anyone is reading this, I welcome your input...

I am one of 4 children. I was "given up" when I was 14 years old. "Given up" meaning that my parents gave me up to custody to the state of michigan. I was not a troubled teen, and not ever in any legal trouble. Plain and simply put my parents really never loved me and I sincerely believe that. I was the only one of the 4 children given up by the way.

My oldest sister is 8 years older than me and she and her husband petitioned the court for guardianship of me. After about 6 months in foster care, I was sent to live with them in Texas.

It took me until this past year to finally put the hurt away and try to reconcile with my mom. My dad died last year and I think that that was the major factor in my decision. I am now 37 years old, so I did not have ANY contact with my parents for 22 years. ANY at all. I never got to speak to my dad again since that day in the courtroom when I was 14.

I reached out to my mom. I really do want her to be my mom. I want to believe that she is not a monster anymore. She remarried a nice man, and I really love him. I invited them to come stay with me for a week earlier this spring and they did and it was nice. My kids got to meet their grandparents for the first time.

O.K... This is where my B Day comes in.... This was my first B Day since reconciling with my mother and I did not even get a card. She called me on my day, but not even a card. I sent her and my new dad both cards on their B day's and a $50 gift card to a steakhouse. That was alot for me to give, as I am not rolling in the dough but I wanted them to have a nice gift from me.

Two things exasperate (sp?) this in my head..... She sends my older sister substantial amounts of money constantly. I am talking so far about $10 k that I know of. No, I don't want her $$ but I don't know how you drop loads of $ on all of your kids and not even send a card to one. She calls both of my sisters all of the time. She never calls me. If I don't call her then we don't talk. I have told her that I want her to call, and hinted that it was hurting my feelings that she calls the other girls and not me but it does not change.

Also my oldest son, her first grandchild to graduate, graduated this year. No card. She says she sent a card and a check, but when I told her that it never arrived she did nothing about it. He was pretty hurt by this as well.

This is hurting me really bad. It is really reminding me alot of my childhood. I was always left out.

Maybe it will help that I wrote that down. I did not sleep last night. I keep checking the mail, even today to see if a card arrives. It is pissing me off that I am letting this hurt me so much.

Onward with the weight loss stuff.... I haven't missed a single day of excercise in 3 weeks! I am up to 25 minutes on the dreadmill at 3.3 mph with a 3% incline. I am very proud of that. I can also do the second level of aerobics on my workout dvd (even if I am ready to pass out when I am done, it still counts).

O.k... enough drama.