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My Sleeve Journey

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Progress is a slow process

Well today had my 2 post op visit with surgeon. Lost another 10lbs, 27lbs total since surgery. Doc asked me how I was doing and seemed disappointed that I wasn't elated at having lost more weight. I told him that I am happy about the weight, but I'm concerned about my health at this point. After trying different types of protein drinks and not finding any that I could really tolerate, except this one that has a very high sugar content, I've given up trying. Instead, I try to get my protein in from food; although I'm still not getting enough in to meet my daily nutritional requirements. Most of the time of feel very weak and Doc says that he thinks I'm not getting enough water in. He is right, I never cared for water and now I hate it even more. Still I've got to work on this water thing because dehydration is probably the reason why I feel weak, so the doc thinks (which I agree). Doc suggested adding Mio to water to see if that helps; so like most suggestions I receive I went out and bought some. The problem is I'll get the stuff, but if I don't like it I stop using it ... equals a waste of money. Doc asked if I thought another endoscopy procedure would help. I told him that I was eating better than I was the first time I had this procedure so I didn't know. Most days it's like a rollercoaster, this day a good eating day, the next day or two not good at all. I need to add exercise to the plan, which I have not. The weakness I feel on most days has made this a little more difficult to motivate myself into doing it. Still making a plan to do something. Currently I've been at the same weight for more than a week. A STALL. Although the scale hasn't moved, I definitely do see some body changes e.g. neck and face seem smaller, chest area is smaller, wrist and fingers smaller (bracelets and rings just slide off). I've even gotten a few looks of admiration if you know what I mean. I think if I just step up the water and get some exercise going maybe I can break the stall.   I'm not at the point where I can say I'm totally happy with my decision to have this surgery. This has been quite a transition for me. I had to quit so many things at one time. I still don't feel back to normal. I get a little frustrated because most people whose post I read that had their surgery the same day as mine or even after, seem so far ahead - maybe not necessarily weight wise, but feeling back to normal. Doc says it's taking me a little longer than some, but nothing out of the ordinary. I have learned/noticed that everybody's body is dffierent and therefore everyone's journey is different as well. Mine is mine.   Oh yeah a little note about work. So it's been like 3 weeks since I returned to work. Like I mentioned, usually I'm exhausted when I get home, body aches everything. I have a hard time eating while at work. I do better when I'm home because I have a wider selection of food, etc. So definitely need to do more work on this. The other thing that I noticed is when I'm under stress (work or any stress really), those are the days that I have the most trouble. I try to keep my stress level down, but difficult to do since I have a stressful job. Lately my boss has been getting on my last nerve. What I have found myself doing is just saying "ok" to everything; almost like "whatever, do what you want." I'm just doing it because I don't want to engage in any lengthy back and forth discussions with anyone. Yeah, I'm being a wimp, but it's just not worth it. I figure when I really need to address something I will, not in my personality not to; however, I've decided to pick my battles cause it's just not worth the stress.   This weekend, I went to a club meeting for an organization that I belong to. The club is ordering some shirts for everyone to wear at certain events. The person ordering the shirts said that because the shirts only came in men sizes, that woman should order smaller sizes. The person placing the order ordered a size small for herself and we are about the same size now, so I ordered the same. Besides I figure by the time I have to wear the shirt e.g. 7 mos from now, I'll be even smaller so I was trying to plan in advance. We were also told to make sure of our shirt sizes because if the shirt didn't fit, we would have to pay the additional cost of returning it and they may not have the shirt in stock. So when the order was prepared, an email went out to confirm sizes for everyone in one email. Would you believe it, one of the guys comes up to me and says, I see you ordered a small, you may need to rethink that because I know your not a small. At first I was stunned he said this and somewhat insulted. Then I looked at him and asked why did it matter to him what size I ordered since he wasn't the one who had to pay for my shirt anyway. Still after he went away, I changed the shirt size to medium, just in case. Boy am I praying by then that I will actually wish I had gotten the small after all, but I figure I would rather have it too big than too small. Still there is always someone out there who just has to give you their opinion of you, whether solicited or not.   Well that's it for me this month. Let's see how next month stacks up.

popsicle_20721

popsicle_20721

 

Is it really getting better?

I figured I would create this blog so as not to hog up space posting in various topic areas. I also wanted a place that I could just write and record my feelings about my WLS journey. Since being sleeved on 12/26, this has been one of the most difficult medical related situations that I have ever encountered. You read all the information, you follow posts on the site, your doctor is constantly talking to you - along with his entire team, you talk to others who have had the surgery, you go to all the required meetings scheduled by the nutritionist and medical practice; or as required by the insurance company and STILL, nothing really prepares you for what your journey will be like post surgery. Pre-surgery I stayed on my doctor's office and insurance company to approve this surgery. I wanted the weight off, I needed the weight off, I was miserable with the weight. I was also very disappointed because I had had a prior weight loss surgery e.g. lapband and it was dismal failure. At most I think I lost 30lbs. When I saw my DIL and how well the sleeve surgery "looked" on her, I knew I had made a mistake with the band, but at the time I thought "oh well" I'm stuck with what I have. Over time I began looking into the options regarding revision. My first physician who placed the band in wasn't budging in considering a revision - so I got another doctor. At first the new doc was a bit resistant, but after 6-7 months of no progress, he finally approved the procedure; and so did my insurance company. Of course I was ready to self-pay if they didn't. A loan, anything, I was desperate. Surgery was scheduled on 12/26 and off I went to my new me...   Post-op things seemed to be progressing well during my initial hospital stay, overnight - except for my experience with the overnight nurse assigned to monitor me throughout the night. He just was not helpful and would not give me pain medication in timely manner. I made such a fuss and actually threatened to leave the hospital if someone didn't help me. Finally, some pain meds and off to sleep I went. Needless to say that I was so interested in getting out of there that the minute my doctor asked me the following morning if I was ready to leave the hospital, I said absolutely. I had gotten up early that morning and was actually feeling pretty good, probably all that fluid they were pumping in me via the IV. I was able to wash up on my own and get dressed, so I thought...ok this is good. I couldn't drink water at that point or anything else, but I was even ok with that. I wasn't feeling hunger at this point, I just wanted to go home.   Home - this is where the journey really gets interesting... After about two days, I still couldn't tolerate liquids - especially anything cold, so I mainly subsisted on hot tea and popicles. Periodically I would try to drink one of the many varieties of protein drinks I had purchased in advance of surgery, but they were all horrible and I couldn't get them down anyway. I think for the first 2 weeks, I was literally starving myself to death. Finally it got to a point where I couldn't keep anything down. By the time I got to my 1st follow-up appointment with the doc, I felt weak and confused e.g. what the heck is going on confused. What happened, why am I feeling this way confused. I asked my doc and he said... the good news you have lost 17lbs isn't that great! Uh yeah, but I'm starving and puking anything I try to take in and I'm not taking anything in. I wanted to lose weight in the worst way, but I didn't want to starve myself to death. He said, it will get better - and if I was still vomiting after a week or so, call him - an endoscopy procedure may be in order. He sends in the Nutritionist who reviews my meal plan with me. What meal plan?!, but ok - I go over what I'm supposed to eat, what I'm not and some food options to consider. As I was leaving the office, one of the Physician's Assistants who had been helping me push to get the surgery approved, said quietly on the side - don't wait to call the office back if I was still vomiting, no need to suffer he said. Boy was I suffering. In fact the following day, I called the doctor's office and said I can't take it anymore, they have to do something. I could barely get out of bed. The following day I was scheduled for the endoscopic procedure. The doc who performed the procedure said that he saw some blockage from scar tissue, so he inserted a balloon that would help stretch the opening of the stomach so I could get something in. What a relief I thought...   Following the procedure I was able to get fluid in, not much but at least broth, soup, more popicles, hot tea. In fact one day I actually ate some shrimp and started buying different foods that I could try e.g. mushy's. I guess that wasn't the best idea, the shrimp stayed down - but some of my other selections e.g. shellfish did not cooperate at all; even though I would chew this stuff until it was water. Finally, I got tired of trying to eat and just stuck with broth, creamy soup, popsicles and hot tea until even the thought of these foods turns my stomach. Don't want to forget all the pill popping e.g. vitamins, calcium, antacid, gas x, additional Vit D... Anyway the next round has been gas and diaherra (which is still the case). A couple of days, I couldn't make up my mind whether to go to the bathroom, vomit or both - sometimes it is both. Oh yes, i forgot this whole time I've been so weak, that I could not work, I live alone with minimal support or encouragement - so depression began to creep in; until it was so full blown that I asked my PCP to put me back on depression meds, that I had been off for the last year.   So now, 4 weeks and 3 days into this journey, I'm sitting here wondering exactly how am I feeling. I have been able to add a couple of more foods to my list of what I can tolerate. Yesterday I was finally able to drink water and drank a whole bottle. I am also slowly beginning to tolerate drinking juice from the fridge; although slowly and very cautiously. My sleeve seems to be "teaching" me what it will accept and what it won't - it is very, very particular and any misstep on my part will be dealt with immediately and painfully. In fact, if I get ahead of myself, I'll be right back to clear liquids if not the same day, the following day. I still haven't developed a taste for protein drinks, but there is one that I can tolerate more than others. I'm sure my doc would say it has too much sugar in it, but it's either that one or none. After 2-3 weeks of practically starving, I'm just glad I'm able to tolerate anything close to protein. I definitely don't overdo anything - too scared and too tired of being sick and too weak to move beyond the bed, bathroom and kitchen (just to look around, cause eating is limited). So is it getting better? Well I have my good days and bad days, today seems to be going ok - yesterday too. Today I had a boiled egg. Wow - who would have ever thought that eating a boiled egg would be a major thing in someone's daily life. To be continued.

popsicle_20721

popsicle_20721

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